Really didn't like the music and the fire made really no sense. Your transitions are super ruff, use a cross fade or a fade to black between clips. Have fun with it and keep em coming. Mike Jones, Who? Mike Jones, Who? Mike Jones!
You know keep em coming and asking for advice helps always. I do a lot of film myself on a very low budget, check out www.downfortheride.com and click on videos to see what I have done so far.