What are YOUR boat rules???

I have a few rules that are required to be in my boat....They are...

#1. NO Shoes
#2. NO smoking while boat is moving
#3. I bought the boat...YOU buy the gas
#4. Everyone helps clean boat at the end of the day.

That is all I have...What are YOUR rules?

No Shoes
No Smoking
No clothes ... one of these days it'll work
Have fun

Asking for gas money and clean up is more of a pain in the rear than the few bucks are worth.

Adhere to the following,or feel the wrath!!

#1 You can smoke,but if you exhale,I'll kill you.

#2 If you don't offer gas money,consider this your last ride on my boat.

#3 If you get wasted,your useless to me if I need you to drive or back the trailer down.

#4 If someone is standing on the swim deck wearing sunglasses,they are off limits as far as being pushed in.If they lose there glasses,you will replace them before the next trip,or you wont go.

#5 Don't EVER pick a fight with someone on another boat while in my boat.They won't remember you,they will remember the teal Sanger when I'm out with my wife and kids.

#6 Don't be late!

#7 If your invited,don't decide to bring 2 more friends along,and show up at the dock with them.

#8 Don't bitch about the music,you can suggest,or even bring your own stuff.

#9 When we get back to the parking lot,it's clean up time,not run like hell to your truck and take off time!

#10 You can bring shoes,just don't wear them in the boat.

Believe it or not,I had one guy break everyone of these rules in 2 trips.Not only was he booted off my crew,but several others as well.

I used to have rules and now I have no friends.

I think the most important rule is PAY ATTENTION TO THE PERSON IN THE WATER. When I'm driving, nothing pisses me off more than the slack coming out of the rope, and 3 people are standing up chit-chatting. You either have to hit it and watch them tumble, or drag the rider until they sit down.

Shoes, food, drinks, etc., none of that stuff really bothers me. It's people not helping out, or not paying for gas. Next week we are starting a mandatory fee system:

$9 - People that are going to wakeboard
$3 - Guys and ugly girls that want to spectate.
$0 - Attractive women.

Another major rule is no smoking, and no chew. I have friends that literally toss the chew can around to each other in a 2003 X10. Toss a can of chew in my X2 and you get tossed in the water!

1. help out,
A.when we run aground (or did in the old boat) get out and help me swim it to shore.
B.when a rider is getting ready, help everyone get their stuff ready.
C.when we are done for the day, help clean the boat.
D you can always ask is there any thing i can do to help.
2. No smoking, or drugs.
3. No alchol
4. Dont get food all over the boat, if you do, clean it, i am not a maid.
5. Do not bring friends i do not know are comming.
6. Offer gas money if you plan to go in the water.
7. Bring food and drinks, can never have too much.
8. Bring your own music so that we will have something you like.
9. If something breaks due to you being an idiot you pay for it.

Richs Rules are the same as mine especially rules #4 and #5 although, Joe, Its gotta be more than $3.00 for ugly chicks God only knows what they could do to that beautiful, well maintained Gel-Coat finish.

My crew is petty good. Once they even calculated the average gas on a per set basis. Now I don't even have to ask, I get $7/set. No real time limit either. Some will ride longer, but some shorter and it tends to work out.
Average set about 30 min. at 7 gals/hour and $2.00 gal it's about right.
The only rules I have and not listed above is
1) no fins on the uphostery
2) flag on the floor if not in hand.

1. no food
2. no shoes
3. contribute something
4. no smoking except on swim deck
5. help out

No Shoes
No Smoking
You bring the gas
You bring the beer

for every guy theres gotta be one girl
no one piece suits
byob.. (bring your own beer)
no tubes unless for video taping purposes
gas money as always

Just respect my boat. That's all I ask. Oh.. and no shoes... It is definitely a plus to get gas money, but I don't expect it. We kinda have an unwritten mutual rule between my friends with boats... we don't pay for pulls on each other's boats.

"Don't be that guy!" is required reading:


BEFORE YOU GET THERE:
• Make sure you have all the equipment you need, BUT DON’T BRING THE KITCHEN SINK! Space is limited; bring only what’s absolutely necessary. If you need to borrow something, ask before you arrive. Don’t expect it to magically appear when you show up. If you bring your own tube, you’ll be kicked to the curb.
• If you plan on eating, bring your own food! Choose items appropriate for the setting. Don’t bring your fondue, your wine and cheese, your picnic basket w/ china, etc. You will be frisked upon entering the boat; if so much as ONE CHEETO is found on your person, or in your belongings, you’ll be sent packing. Other food that’ll send you packing: Popcorn, flavored chips, chocolate, donuts, anything with grease, etc. Basically, if it creates crumbs, you better leave it at home. If you bring it, and it creates crumbs, you better eat it on the swim deck.
• If you want to drink something other than lake water, you better bring it with you. Make sure alcohol is allowed on board before bringing it along.
• Bring money!
• If you bring an uninvited guest, SHE BETTER BE A HOTTIE! Any other guest better not be a surprise to the captain.

WHEN YOU ARRIVE:
• Get here on time! If you’re supposed to be here at 8:00, be here at 7:55! If you’re gonna be late, call the captain and let him know.
• If the crew is counting on you as a third, you better get here. Nothing short of a catastrophic accident will be accepted as a valid excuse. Proof will be required (e.g., an open wound, a fresh cast, a missing appendage, etc.).
• Take off your shoes before entering the boat!
• When you step into the boat, step on things designed to be stepped on (the pad on the gunnel is there for a reason)!
• Don’t just throw your crap in a heap on the floor. Ask the captain where to store your gear.
• Julie, your Cruise Director, is not on this voyage. Don’t expect to be waited on. If you need something, do it your damn self. If you don’t know how to do something, or what to do, ASK!
• BE MINDFUL OF WHERE YOU’RE SITTING! Uneven weight distribution affects the wake shape/height. If you’re asked to move, don’t bitch about your uneven tan - JUST MOVE!
• The captain chooses the music. If you ask to play your Dixie Hicks CD, either you or it is going overboard. You decide which.
• NO BITCHING ALLOWED! We all have a bad day of riding every now and then. It’s OK to cuss yourself out, but leave it in the water. Don’t be a downer for everyone else.


WHEN YOU LEAVE:
• OK, are you paying attention? This is important: At the end of the day, don’t just grab your crap and go. Ask the captain what needs to be done, and do it. Nobody wants to hear that you’re gonna be late for your ear wax removal appointment. Stay and help with whatever is necessary.
• Offer the captain gas money! If you rode your tail off all day, don’t insult the captain by offering a handful of change. Wakeboard boats guzzle gas, and gas is not cheap; you should offer at least $5 per set (see “Bring money!”).
• Make sure you get everything you brought with you out of the boat. Items left for more than 24 hours become the sole property of the captain. Calls asking “have you seen my...” will not be accepted.

Violating the rules outlined in this guide is not necessarily grounds for dismissal; however, if you violate them often, don’t ask yourself why you’re sitting at home watching the Golf Channel while your bros are out carvin’ up the butter.

I know some people that need to read what Swass has posted here. Good job!

You forgot: Don't take your time getting ready for your run, and no smoking.

Copies of "Don't be that guy!" are available upon request.

I agree w/Swass' rules except for the shoes and booze part.

Also, the biggest thing I DO NOT agree with - show up at least 15 minutes, at the ramp, not the park entrance, before the boat does. It's better to wait a few for the boat, rather than have the boat wait for you.

Good job swass, have you had violations to each one?
I like oldschool's addition of "Don't take your time getting ready"
I have one regular that I swear has to meditate or something before jumping in. Just for him I feel I need to implement a get ready timer.

You managed to pick out two of my big ones, Matt. You bring alcohol whether it's allowed or not?

Everything listed has been an issue at one point or another, but the brochure was just something that was fun to do. We're all pretty laid-back, especially when it comes to 'in the water' rules. When it's your turn, take as much time as you need, and ride as long as you want. Smoking doesn't bother me, either, as long as you don't flick ashes all over the place.

I do have a real issue with Cheetos, though - those things are a menace.

Have fun.

No smoking, no alcohol.... Hell, after a good ride, I may sit and have a smoke, while enjoying a cold beverage, all while having my nicotine uptake enhanced with a Copenhagen in my lip.

E.J.

E.J., yes, that look is hot right now.

1) Safety comes first (all safety items said above apply)
2) Boat treatment comes right after safety, treat it like it was your own (ie, no shoes, don't spill, don't slam anything)
3) Alcohol is fine, smoking is fine (just keep the ash out of the boat)
4) No Bitchin' about music
5) Have fun

I'm honestly not a huge stickler about money, i have a sticker that says "this boat runs on gas not thank you's" but most of the people i ride with have their own boats, and we use all the boats pretty evenly. The people that are actually bad about helping out with gas, beer, and cleaning are my friends from HS, they aren't big into wakeboarding, so they feel like everyday we go out they are my "guest" and i'm supposed to pay for everything, that's annoying. The only time i'll ask for money is if somebody brings someone else or we have hardcore day and ride the whole time, but if somebody just rides once for 15 minutes, and we sit around and drink most of the day, i really couldn't care less. If you offer me money for 1 pull, the offer is good enough for me, and i usually won't take the money.

all good stuff, i like rich's- no picking fights from my boat because that's what they'll remember. so true.

i don't get too worked up about the money either. i live close to the lake and am going to be out there anyway. regular riders are expected to bring supplies...cold ones and food. or, buy me drinks when we get to the bar.

my friends don't seem to be able to clean things up to my standards so i don't bother asking them to half-ass anything. that's just me so i don't hold that against them.

my main rule....no drama! i'm there for a good time, some pulls, and some laughs. keep your hands inside the bus and everything will be fine.

Man, you guys are harsh. There are two rules for my boat:

1. Have fun.

2. I don't need an expensive citation, so please sit on the seats when the boat is moving.

All the rest seems to take care of itself. If someone insists on being inconsiderate or obnoxious, the problem solves itself by the absence of future invitations.

Swass, if i'm going on someone else's boat, I follow their rules. So, if alcohol isn't allowed on their boat - no.

I stated the rules for my boat only.

Generally, I want everyone to be early and have fun and keep a moderatge level of safety. This includes keeping the middle aisle clear of things so people can get from bow to stern, wathing the rider and keeping limbs inside the boat.

I don't have an alcohol rule on my boat. (I actually have very few rules - again, my contribution above is more for entertainment than anything else.)

Standley has a pretty strict alcohol policy, so any drinking there has to be on the down-low.

You can consume your drug of choice on my boat - just don't act the fool while doing it. OK, I have one other proviso: If it's illegal, don't do it, talk about it or otherwise refer to it in front of my kids! That's a guaranteed no-return.

Swass,

What is the alcohol policy on Standley? Here(Utah) we have a no open container for the driver, but that is only when moving. Needless to say that the operator of the boat while in motion needs to be under the legal driving limit of .08 BAC.

E.J.

It's not allowed. If caught, the boat owner can lose their permit for the remainder of the season.

I just expect help with gas....and if you do not offer, I will tell you what gas money you owe. I'm not so annal about the shoes thing or a lot of the other stuff. Ohh I really do not like sharing my Gatoraid so I guess you better bring your own drink or be content with lakewater or my backwash after I have had enough.

Anyone know about the drinking and boating laws in California? I know passangers can drink (I always regulate how much beer makes it on my boat tho). However, I keep getting people who say the drive can consume a beverage as long as they are under the legal limit. I am probably wrong, as this is pretty stupid.

rules:
1. pay for some gas
2. help with whipedown/clean off
3. help others when getting ready to ride
4. NO ABSOLUTLY NO FINGER NAIL POLISH!!! Gosh, I can't tell you how many times a girl has run her nails across my vinyl and left a mark.
5. don't talk down to newbies, i had a guy who was decent rider, but then i started to bring a couple buddies who didnt know how to ride. My friend quickly discouraged them with his ill-words.
6. don't get drunk and pass out/cause a problem/fight or your never comming back on my boat.

I think that's it

Ouch....harsh.

Agree on when my son(children in general) is on the boat, we all have to start acting our age & watching what comes out of our mouth.

E.J.

The one thing I hate about enforcing rules: people don't seem to like being told they can't come out anymore.

I enforce rules - (Swass, good list, BTW). I have to, otherwise I'd have too many friends. Funny how friends seem to show up in the summers, then disappear again in the winters.

My absolute pet-peeve: when people drop by the dock or drive along the shore where I ride to see if we might be on the water...and if they should hit me up for a ride. I don't think people realize how obvious this is. If you wanted them there, you would have called them.

Oh well...it's my own fault for stopping by and picking them up. Stay strong.

I have only had to "enfore" rules once or twice. And anyways, the guys I ride with are pretty laid back and calm anyways.

Most of the people that ride with us either have a boat or have had a boat that I have ridden in, so it's pretty much a swap out for us. I don't really want people messing around with my stuff when we get through, I would rather clean it up myself. As for the money thing, I'm going out anyway, so I would be spending whether they go or not, an offering is appreciated though.

Standley alcohol policy is this.. First time you are caught the cops are called and you get a ticket for open container, and drinking/boating if you are intoxicated and you are tossed off the lake for the day. Second time you are banned for the year and cops come and give you a bigger ticket.
SWASS, they now have white cheddar cheetos!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No orange mess and DANG ARE THEY GOOD. I think they were made for just for boat owners.
Also, what is your policy on using cell phones while driving near the dock.?. Blahahahhahahahaha.

I am no longer allowed to operate the vessel while talking on the phone:

So, I'm talkin' on my cell phone while idling away from the dock in reverse. The people in my boat are yellin' "dude - stop...DUDE!" I'm thinkin' "WTF? Why is everyone funkin yellin at me?" Well, they're yellin' at me because I'm about to run into someone. What do I do? Yeah, I panic and go faster in reverse. "THUNK!" No damage to his boat, but I splintered the corner of my swim deck a little bit. : (

Thank god he was cool about it. I know I wouldn't have been as forgiving as he was.

Forgive me, for I have Swassed.

That's not as bad as I thought it was. I thought it was a "once and you're done" kinda deal.

i just hope white cheddar cheetos are as good as white cheddar cheese-its

.....and I thought Utah alcohol laws were crazy. I assume we are talking private lake?

My few visits to Colorado, seems like you guys have way too much private water. I would love to be the guy who has the market on "No Trespassing!!!" signs.

"Why is everyone funkin yelling at me?"

E.J.

Swass, every rule mentioned hit home! Especially the "don't show up at the dock with other people I don't even know", and the "when you leave, don't just grab your gear and go". This happened last year at Lake Powell no less! We've always had serious issues with my sister-in-law! Where do I get a copy of "Don't be that Guy"? We have our Powell trip at end of month, and I'd like to email everyone going a copy. I swear some of the best times boarding are when it's my wife, 14 yr old daughter and 2 yr. old daughter on the lake weeknights, with no invitees.

It's on the way, Brad.

That's a good clarification, E.J. If kids are on board, keep it legal.

mine are very similar to the above.

however, should i add the "NO FINGERNAIL POLISH"?? anyone else had this problem. i have never noticed or even paid attention. i might have seen it before, wiped it off, and not even known what it was. seems like that one would be pretty hard to enforce!

i can just picture it....you know your buddy is meeting you at the dock with his girlfriend. as you pull up to the dock, him and her are about to hop on. ummmm, no, sorry honey. go back to the car and get rid of that nailpolish real quick. then come back and hop on the boat.

That is definitely good for a repost. I still have my printed copy in a box in my office/ cube.

It should be in your boat's glove box for handy reference, Rod.

Your probably right, Swass. The way I see it, if they made it on the boat, it may be too late to hand it to them.

I thought about bringing it out a couple weeks ago and repost it in my office. I hate it when we do an office move.

Haha. Okay, okay. I am not going to tell them to leave. Maybe it's just the fresh polish. I only ran into this problem a couple days ago. This girl had just done her nails right before we left for the lake (which is like 10 minutes) Anyways, the stain won't come out! It sucks.

Any idea on removal of these stains? There were other ones in the past, however came off very easy.

How 'bout non-acetone finger nail polish remover?

sheesh, sounds like the nail polish gig has happened to most everyone! It really sucks if it comes off one of your non-paying hotties!! What are you gonna say then?

Have to agree with Nautique Capn in that it's not worth the hassle to ask for $$ or to wipe down the boat. If they understand common courtesy and after a couple rides and don't pitch in to help, I'm prolly not gonna extend another invite.

I have an a rule that anything left behind on the boat is mine. The amount of jackets, towels, shirts etc etc people leave behind is incredible. In another two seasons I will have enough stock to open a chain of second hand shops.

I have forwarded this topic to all the cheap lazy •••••••• who frequent my boat ;)

-gvb

I went to pick up a friend & his girlfriend at the dock once, got there & he had her,two kids,a dog,SEVEN other people he invited, & just enough beer/food for themselves.Now when its hot & he wants to go I tell him to buy his own boat.Friends are great!

I have a different policy on the ugly chicks posted at the tope of the thread. Ugly skinny chicks pay the most, ugly fat chicks are given a discount for being ballast.

I have 2 close friends who go with me frequently, but my boat is far superior than theirs. I occasionally go and hate it in their cobalt and bayliner just to feel like we're spreading it around a little bit. They are always good about cleanup and good treatment of my machine, but I'm ready for them to buy a solid wakeboarding boat.

In the winter:
1. Ugg boots aer fine
2. no boots on seats,or gelcoat.
3. no smoking
4. no alki
5. be ready to get in the water, before it is your turn.
6. no cussn'
7. no attitudes
8. help clean up
9. be respectful
10. and most of all, THANK YOUR DRIVER!!!!

ANDY

I only have one rule. Don't care about food, crumbs, nail polish, booze, gas money, smoking or any other BS.

NO ONE jumps into the water head first. Any time the water is silty or muddy you can't see sh*t. We take enough chances riding and boating with the rest of the idiots... Just my .02.

my main rules

1. if you say your coming show up no matter what ,unless your in the hospital theres no excuse to say your coming then not show up..i could have gave your spot to someone else..

2.Be on time ! or no later then 5 mins late..it sucks for everybody if you leave them waiting on a dock for 20mins to an hour..

3.Help out on the boat.. IE help getting boards on and off the rack when switching riders,pull the rope in at all times when the rider says hes done and we are going to pick him up..

4.Offer to drive every now and again because the boat owner like to relax a little too..this rule is not a strict one but appreciated

5.when we are done help wipe the boat down in and out and uload the crap off it..

6.offer some kind of gas money ..dont matter how much but the more you give shows me you want to be invited more often then others who pay little or none..

7.Have fun and support other riders with positive stoke..no ragging peoples skills or ripping on people for not trying hard enough or telling them they have no style or tricks..this is uncool and not tolerated on my boat..everybody has a bad day and if you want to be down about your riding and want to express that thats cool just dont let it spill out into ripping on others..

Bill you should pay particular attention to Nos 5 & 6.....the X don't run for free! j/k

My rules are about the same as everyone elses - I don't mind smoking (no ashes) and def don't mind drinking but NO fins on the vinyl, be careful when putting boards in/out of the racks.

andy some of your rules are a bit harsh ,man that would suck no alchohol or cussing..im not a big drinker buit a few beers doesnt do much..and sometimes the cuss words just slip out...i would definitly be booted off your boat for that

1. Don't worry about being late or not showing up at all. We don't mind waiting by the dock enjoying the sun wondering if our third will surface so we can ride.

2. Yeah, you forgot your gas money.. no worries, I'm so frickin' rich I'd just wipe my butt with your cash anyway.

3.Be sure to bring red licorice and drop a piece or two between my seat cushins. The ants on the side of my house need something to consume and red stripes on white seats look pimp.

4. Make sure when you get into the boat you throw your stuff onto the floor, organization is overrated and I look forward to getting my foot caught in the loops of your knotted rope and slamming my chin onto the ski pylon.

5. I appreciate it when you slam my storage doors, never know if those things are *really* closed.

6. When you have to relieve yourself, don't go to the swim step.. nah, piss off of the front and be sure to drip on my bow light and front cushin. If you do decide to wiz off the swim step, wait until someone else gets in and drizzle right next to them while they're putting their board on, it warms the water.

7. Don't worry about changing into your boardshorts until you get into the boat, I enjoy opening the storage area and reaching into grab what I think is my shirt.. nah, it's your underwear. So cool!

8. Be sure to swing your rope like the cool cowboy you are and rip the black handle across my sunpad. The black stripe goes good with the red.

9. When you're finished smoking be sure to drop your wet cigarette butt into my cup holder so you can gather it later. I enjoy picking up my clear water bottle and being able to see the thing stuck to the bottom of my bottle while I'm drinking.

10. Don't ever insult me by offering to drive. hell, you had to drive all the way to the lake.. how could I expect you to want to drive the boat once you get there?

11. Taking a 45 minute run 1/2 hour before the sun goes down with 2 riders waiting to ride is something we always appreciate.

12. When we're docking, even though one guy goes to the front, don't bother catching the back of the boat. We know your tired from riding all day, I can buff out the black scuffs anyway.

13. Be sure to wipe down the dusty trailer first and use the same course towel on my gelcoat and windows. Better yet, run off to the outhouse while the waterspots accumulate.

14. Don't bother calling me unless you want to board, I mean.. I only enjoy your company when we're on the lake anyway.

B-

7 Had me laughing out loud.....

E.J.

#6 was great im still laughing

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Barry- that could very well be the best post ever...

Barry - Ya just hit the nail(s) on the head!

barry that sarcasm is F'N priceless !! im still laughing inside ...•••••••• thanks for the laugh !!

Barry, good finish to an already good thread.
This has to be one of the best.
Can it get any better?

I have'nt laughed that hard in aloooong time. Your the shiznit!

Has anyone let a friend bring sunflower seeds? I let it slide once and was picking those little bitches out of everywhere for a month. Also, chew doesnt leave its owners hands, i had one guy try to pratice packing the can in the back of the boat and had to empty 3 sacks and waste an hour to clean it. The packet kind was invented for boats

I do seeds on my boat and had very little problems with them. I am very care full about them though. The kids have to chew them on the back swim step.

Seeds suck and aren't allowed...

I must be the only one who doesn't allow bottle caps to stay in the boat...

I don't allow glass at all in my boat. Many years ago one broke in my friends boat, it took us forever to get all the glass out of the carpet. As long as it wont leave a stain I'm ok with it.

I have a no alcohol for anyone driving or boarding rule. I lost my spleen, part of a lung, and ended up with rib stuck in my heart courtesy of "a couple brews."

Anyone else can feel to get hammered and strip.

1) Every person reading this has more experience than me, so when you come out on my boat - if you don't teach me something about owning, driving, riding, or teaching, you've let me down.

I'd rather have you watch my kids while I clean than to watch my kids while watching you clean. (Rub off water spots with wet towel, dry with dry towel.)

Every time you put a boat in the water it costs money. In a perfect world, I think it'd be best if drivers brought the boat and riders brought $20's, whether they had three pulls or one - it takes money just to get the boat to the launch ramp, and owners know just how cheap $20 is for a morning on the lake. I've given that most of the time for many years, and it seems fair.