Aint gonna be many DAWGS if this crap keeps up! (He’s back)

Aint gonna be many DAWGS if this crap keeps up! (He’s back)

MY LAST TRIP TO HOMOCO!!!

Yesterday, I was at my local HOMOCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, KRANKY, the Wonder Dog, and was in the check-out line when a LIBERAL behind me asked if I had a dog. What did HE think, I had an elephant?

So, since I'm retired and cant WAKEBOARD during the winter I have little to do, on impulse I told the SOCIALIST that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my ORIFICES and IVs in both arms.

I told the DEMOCRAT that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story as they were also LIBERALS,.. after all this is a HOMOCO store.)

Horrified, they asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told the OVER SPENDER no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's “hind end” and a car hit me.

I thought the COMMUNIST behind the SECULAR HUMANIST was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

HOMOCO won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask CONSERVATIVES, unlike LIBERALS they have all the time in the world to think of LOGICAL things to say!

For my friend Sam and estranged buddy Jeremy (grin)