Boat or Engagement Ring???

Easy question if you cant get both which do you buy first???

I bought the boat first

Both, just spend less on the ring. If that's not ok with her she aint worth it.

Didn't you just answer your own question?

I picked up most of my toys before I got engaged/married.it seams like after that I was less likely to get the toys I wanted.now you know who wears the pants in my family

yea it is always like that. that is why i would like to get the boat now. On the other hand i love her to death and want to be with her.

Don't buy the cow if you are getting the milk for free....

BOat!

Be in control as long as possible. If you buy the boat now, it's just up to you. If you wait, and you're lucky to have her at least agree to buy, you will still likely have to consider her input on which boat "we" get. Don't leave your boat/boat choice up to anyone else.
Definetly boat before ring if at all possible!
Good luck

I would like more information before providing my $.02 that probably won't matter anyways. But here are some questions I have:

-Does she want a boat?
-By getting a boat will you spend more or less time together?
-If you don't ask her to marry you now is she going to leave you and move on?
-Is she the type of person that would get mad about you spending that kind of money on a boat (like does she think the only reason you aren't asking her to marry you is because you are saving money for a ring)?
-How long have you known each other?

You must be a great guy if you are putting the price of the ring in the same category has a new boat. I only hope someday I find some guy that wants to spend $40K on my ring...not really...too hard to wakeboard/snowboard/mountain bike/even run with that kind of rock on your finger.

I bought the ring first, it made her feel more comfortable about us spend big $$$ on a new boat together. IF she is into the boat and wants one get the ring first that way you guys can get the boat together and you don't hav eto listen to the "you love that dam! boat more than me"

laci i am not spending 40k on anything i dont have that kinda money. she says that she would like a boat but wants the ring first. no i dont think she would leave me. yes i think she would feel a like the boat was more important than her if i got it.

---

quote:

I only hope someday I find some guy that wants to spend $40K on my ring

---

I don't mean to call you out, but seriously is that a criteria?

If you truly love her you will buy the ring first, and if she truly loves you it won't have to set you back so much that you cannot buy your boat.

Get the boat and give her a pearl necklace instead of a ring for now!!

I think you have answered your question then. Start the marriage out with her feeling like a boat is more important than her or start out simple and build to that someday...haha

But how about these questions:
Have you looked at boats together?
Does she know what kind of boat she would like?
Has she spend lots of time in boat (like did her family grow up with a boat or has she been in love with boats?
Can't believe I forgot this question.....DOES SHE WAKEBOARD/SURF/SKATE?

That could be a deal breaker....just joking. Good luck with your decision.

when she was younger her parents had a sale boat and she really enjoyed that. She doesnt wakeboard though but i think that she would if i encouraged it.

Sorry to change the subject a bit..

Chavez - No...read on...

not really...too hard to wakeboard/snowboard/mountain bike/even run with that kind of rock on your finger.

I used to believe in that criteria BS, but I soon realized that everytime you date someone...if you have something go wrong, all the sudden it becomes a new criteria. And those grow and grow and no one is perfect. That I know anything on this subject, I am still single....so I obviously haven't figured dating out yet though.

Jon - Good luck. }

(Message edited by tcluv85 on June 17, 2004)

Well Jon, there you go, get her out on a wakeboard and get her addicted, then you won't have to make this type of choice. She may choose the boat over you...just joking again.

Get a post on Find A Third/Be A Third thread and get her out there.

yea she probably would leave me for a boat so i figure if i get a boat then she wouldnt ever leave me. not really. there is not a lot of serious wakeboard action around here just a small town with a small lake.

Luckily I met my wife at the lake on my old boat. We got married and a year and a half later she got pregnant. My friends said it was done, she would make me get rid of my toys. When she was about 3 months pregnant, she tells me we need a bigger boat, that out daughter wouldn't fall out of. Next thing I know, we have a brand new V-Drive and it was her idea. Marry the right girl, go to the lake together and the rest will work itself out.

(Message edited by hyperryd on June 17, 2004)

get the boat first

skip the engagement ring, just buy wedding bands. Then you can get the stereo upgraded when you take delivery on your new boat. The money people spend engagement rings blows my mind. What is the point?

Ill tell you what blows my mind is seeing guys who let their wives run their lives. I actually had the conversation with my girlfriend that went something like this, "If we had something planned to do together, like say attend a wedding, but on that day, the weather was perfect and the water was butter. Would you be pissed if I bailed to wakeboard?" Her reply was, "Only if you didnt take me with you." I personally think thats a load of BS, but you have to set the expectations. I wakeboard/snowboard 3-5 days a week (you wouldnt know it watching me and I've been lucky to find someone who doesnt mind that....for now.... Marriage is over-rated. Get married when you're older and cant enjoy your toys any longer. Dont sacrifice for a little trim, you can buy that in Vegas ;)

Seriously, I say enjoy your life while youre young, if she's a real keeper, she'll be cool with that.

Your asking the wrong crowd for a unbiased answer! Good luck with whatever you do...BTW, I went with the engagement ring, house, then boat. Put your priorities in place.

Marry the right girl, go to the lake together and the rest will work itself out.

I second that, when my wife and I got married two years ago, we used the wedding gift $ for a down payment on our boat two weeks after the honeymoon!! Don't register for much (like dishes...towels...china) and just ask for cash, that way you can spend it on things that will make your relationship grow...like a boat!! Our lifes in the summer revolve around going to the lake after work and the weekends to board together!

Get her involved with the sport...and see what happens.}

Difficult to give you an opinion when I don't know your age. But just that you are asking a message board if you should purchase a "boat or engagement" ring....my easy money is on the boat.

When I purchased an engagement ring, I would have sold my boat if that is what she wanted as a condition of saying yes. She was and is the love of my life and wakeboarding/boating is something I do....not who I am. That said, I doubt we would have gravitated towards each other if we didn't enjoy many of the same things, boating being one of those.

Being that you are deciding if you want to buy a boat or ask someone to spend the rest of their life with you....maybe it is an easy way of saying you're not ready for that type of commitment.

E.J.

P.S. I want to add that I don't know you Jon and don't want you to take this post the wrong way. I could be totally off base with my reply. Just giving an opinion. Good luck either way.

People may say the same thing about boats Tom. The point... I don't know, why not spend a little money of you have it. Why do people pimp out their boats....or cars, wear a Rolex, drive a BMW and not a Honda, tow with a one ton diesel and not a half ton...bla..bla...bla. It is VERY VAIN...but I love when people comment on my wife's ring.

E.J.

Yes, its all in where your interests are. I personally got sick spending $160 on a tiny little emerald necklace for my girlfriend but didnt think twice about dropping $30k on my boat. Now I spend $160 a week in gas! Strange how things work out...

figured Id post over here because its a more active thread... and I'll throw in a disclaimer, this is a very biased note haha

John, you are in college buddy, there is no need for marriage! Take care of your needs, you are young. Maybe I am just a miserable 19 yr old but I think there are too many young marriages lately, ofcourse I dont know how old you are or how much schooling you have left but its COLLEGE... I guess I'm immature because I think college should be a period of experimentation and settling down with a single girl during college just doesn't seem right to me. Get your priorities straight and buy the boat and then deal with the women in your life. Another thing, you gotta be happy, is she going to enjoy the water as much as you? You could very well get married and depending how it goes the boat will never pan out as you would like.. ofcourse this is all blind statements as I don't know the situation but I think it best to take care of yourself and get the boat before you get married. Wait until you are a few years out of school before you settle down. If she can't deal with a boat then she isn't meant for you and if marriage is a pressing issue in college then I don't know...
Like I said I don't know the situation fully but I think it nonsense to marry during college, but then again maybe I am just a selfish immature teenager (possible haha)...
One more note... if she leaves you, think of all the girls you can score witht he boat haha
THINK about it...

-Duane

Thanks for all of the opinions i think they are great. Keep postin them. I think the ring is coming first. When i read all the posts that say get the boat they all say get the boat because you might not be able to later but i think i will be able to at some point down the road and i guess if i dont and have a family instead i will be happy with that

Jon,
If this is really a question your considereing...the only answer is Buy the Boat!

true story...buddy of mine wanted a harley. Out of college he worked and had fun. Was just about to buy a Harley...had an accident and lost the downpayment for the bike...(not injured though) ended up moving...then meeting a girl...few years later it came up again...buy the harley, or buy the ring?
EVERYONE said buy the harley first or you will never get it...words that I had been reciting since we were roommates in college...today there is no sight of a Harley, nor will there be for another 10-15 years...the house...needs two new cars...repairs etc! Had he bought the Harley first...he would be just about in the same situation this time next year...but also the owner of a Harley!

get the point!

the point is if i get engaged i wont ever get the boat. I know that sucks but it is just a boat and i have actually talked to her about it and although all she can see is a diamond she does want a boat.

Jon, It does not really matter which one comes first because she will end up with both after the divorce anyways. So buy the one that makes you happy not her. Life is short have fun while you can.

One thing at a time. That is the only way you can do it, before you know it you will have both. Like I said before set your priorities, whats most important to you?

It trips me out when people own a 40k boat but live in an apartment. To each his own I guess.

I figure, if anyone is worried about their woman running away because you wont buy her a ring, then she is materialistic, and deserves a Cleveland Steemer.

I have seen friend after friend fall to the dark side and now when I call them to go boating, etc. its always, "I gotta watch the kids." "The wife wants me to do some work in the yard." "I have to help my in-laws learn how to tie their shoes." (or maybe that was helping the kids tie their shoes, I cant keep them straight).

Anyway, Im not against marriage, just turning into a pu$$y because of it! Remember you're a man.


(By the way, Jon, this is not directed to you or anyone else who has posted here, Im just making a broad generalization)

Or maybe a geralization about broads...

Good one xxxl wake!

19 and asking about a ring?

IMO, your too young to be thinking about marriage. Get out of college and get a good job then start thinking about marriage. If she is the one you are meant to be with then she will still be the one 3-4 years from now.

If all she is thinking about is a diamond then she may not be ready for the maturity level it takes to be engaged/married.

Lastly, the absolute most important thing is to communicate everything with her. If you can't talk about what each of you want in your lives together and as individuals then it will never work out no matter what you do.

My wife's bling bling is sitting on the dresser, and has been for the past 7-8 years, and wears it on special occasions only. We take the boat out at least once a week. Does that answer your question?

Seriously though, the question really is what's more important to you, your girlfriend or owning a boat? Ask her hypothetically what she would rather have? If she says the boat, buy her the ring, she's worth it. If she says the ring, buy her the ring. She's saying she rather have you as a husband more than anything. Yours is a loaded question anyway you look at it. You are not going to figure it out with anything that makes sense or is logical. Buy the ring, set a goal to have the boat in a couple years, or sooner.

Be patient when buying your toys. Next thing you know, you'll have everything you want.

www.blowmeuptom.com , PAY ATTENTION!!!!!! Why does a ring matter? If she is that superfical sp? Dump that B_ _ _ _!!!!!!!!
Remember this if she is like this now, you will never own a boat.

In the defense of the possible bride to be.... Jon never said that the cost of the ring had significance, just the general notion that she was ready for the commitment(if I am reading correctly).

Jesus...thinking about all this, maybe advice from a bunch of boarders is not exactly what you want/need. Talk with your family, her family, close friends that you trust. Probably not a decision you want to make from advice from people you have never met. If your parents and her parents say "YES...COUNDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING WE WOULD RATHER SEE HAPPEN" maybe you're on to something.

E.J.

If you cannot imagine the future without her, buy the ring.

My wife and I upgraded her ring after a few years. Some women want the hardware, some want the man. She waited on the hardware until we could afford a nice-looking ring.

Dude...Get a cool enough boat and you'll have soo many women you wont know what to do with 'em. He, he. Besides, I've tested the theory and kept my girl around for almost 10 years without the ring. I think she's proved she isn't going anywhere. Hmmm. maybe I should be the one buying the ring. Anyway, if she's a keeper, she'll wait till you guys are out of school to even want a ring.

i agree with alot of you guys but truthfully am not going to make my decision based on a bunch of strangers that is right. To greg i am not 19 i am going to be a senior and by the time we would get married i would be graduated and i agree that there is always time for toys later. and she is not superficial she is very based. To all you haters on women think that you would be better off alone. That was me before i met her exactly. Now my ideas have changed.

i am having the same problem ... im going with the boat cause i can use it and feel happy paying for it , where as a ring.. its just for her to run around and say ooooh look im married and heres my fat rock to prove it, but it has no other use whatsoever!!!! i dont need a ring i no im spoken for, so why do women????? i mean you dont even get a tax break on it hahahaha at least with a marriage uncle sam feels sorry for ya

its not just the ring i think it is the idea behind it that she is looking for. Dont get me wrong every girl wants a nice diamond but i think it is more about us than a diamond

Barry, I tell you when a group of women are sitting around and notice the size of my wifes rings they do one of two things.

1. Feel jealous or initmadated . (I later hear it from the husband )

2. Give her compliments.

I am not trying to sound arrogant or cocky because its not a huge rock but its definelty unique. It does make me feel good when she gets compliments though. Combine that with not having to take flak about the ring size is a good feeling.

Women will always look at another womans ring.
With men, its a whole different story, for all I care it could be an aluminum wire around my finger!

(Message edited by Pierce Bronkite on June 18, 2004)

Sorry Jon another poster said you were 19. That's what I get for assuming.

If she is wanting the ring for the reason you say then that's cool.

If she is the one and you can't make up your mind then why would you ever ask for opinions on here? Only you can decide what is the most important.

Ok jon that clarifies a little, I said I was 19 but didnt know how old he was. Jon Ive got cousins getting married in your situation now and I guess its alright... but personally I'd still go with the boat for now... She sounds cool just do whats right I guess and greg and others are right... asking for advice here might not be the best idea for rational answers to the matter at hand

Sounds like a question of life or death to me.

i totatlly agree with you guys that this is not the place to ask this question. I am not really going to take advise from strangers who dont even know my full situation. I just thought it would be fun to see what everyone said.

I havent read all the responces but some advice is worth exactley what you pay for it.

Let me just start off by saying I have been married 11 years, As of today June 19th, My wife is the most important thing in my life with out her I dont think I would enjoy my boat 1/2 as much, So IMO the ring would come first,

My vision would be you get married and start your life together and then become partners on a boat together





(Message edited by whitechocolate on June 19, 2004)

By the ring. Simple enough. If you don't she'll be really hurt. She may not let on to it, but she'll really be wanting that rign.

On a side note my g/f and I were joking around the other day about this and she says "If you buy me a small and cheap ring, then that just goes to show you that you don't love me"... my response was "So what your saying is that your love can be bought based on the size of a ring? Wow, you're cheap."... then we laughed.

This thread cracks me up!

Do this, buy both and here's why. Today you have your youth and can learn to do cool tricks behind your bitchin new wake boat. I'm 44 and have been athletic and adventurous my entire life. But I have to tell you that a 44 year old body isn't like a 19 year old body (hey Dad's it Fathers day today, back me up here). Buy her a "economical" engagement ring and promise her you'll be with her forever and in a few years when your your a wakeboarding God, have a good job and are still madly in love with your wife, give her a rock on your 5th wedding anniversary.

Oh, one more gotcha here - don't have kids til then (very important).

Good luck

i would have to agree with randy.


what you could do is buy a boat in her name and name it 'engagement ring,' and have it written on the back. then you could say, "honey, i have an engagement ring for you,"

How bout this, find a girlfriend who loves wakeboarding so much that she would rather have the boat rather then the ring. ahhhh, the perfect wife.

Dude if she is the perfect girl for you she has already stated how she feels trust me from someone who lost the love of his life because he didn't listen to her...
buy the ring end of story

Don't miss out on the opportunity in front of you...a great girl. There will always be boats, better ones each year. Go with the ring. (however, you could suggest that she buy you an "engagement" boat). Best of both worlds.

Can you post a pic of the boat and the girl? That should help everyone

LMAO thats a good point I bet if it was Jennifer Love Hewitt everyone would be saying buy the flippin ring