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Old    Eubanks (eubanks01)      Join Date: Jun 2001       01-05-2011, 1:27 PM Reply   
I've been on a global ERP project for the past year, and coming from the Corproate Finance/Accounting world, this is my first real daily interaction wtih project mangement and outside consulting "professionals". We have so many accronyms on this project it's unbelievable. Even more annoying though are the buzz words that the people doing these type of projects for a living like to throw out as often as possible. Sorry if this is you!

Here are the ones I've heard recently that are my kryptonite:

Low hanging fruit
Granular
Talk about it off-line
Parking Lot (common I know but I still hate it)
Stakeholders
Bandwidth
"Strategery"
"Automagically"


So what are yours?
Old    E Double U (three6ty)      Join Date: Feb 2004       01-05-2011, 3:38 PM Reply   
Transparency- i hate this one because when you hear it you know they are still not telling you everything
Old    Sean M (magic)      Join Date: Mar 2002       01-06-2011, 7:39 AM Reply   
Come work at MSFT...
"That S+ gives me high DSAT"
WAH
OOO
OOF
Canonical (used out of context of course)
Orthogonal
Contribution Margin
Old    Big D (bigdtx)      Join Date: Feb 2005       01-06-2011, 8:11 AM Reply   
That crap is why I hope to never work in the corporate environment again because people that use those words are generally idiots who are trying to sound intelligent.
We need to get them to "buy-in" to our "strategic alliance" and get some "shared benefit" from "spreading the risk" between out "key constituents" which include both "internal and external customers".
Vomit.
Old    Aaron (aarond0083)      Join Date: Apr 2007       01-06-2011, 8:39 AM Reply   
I hate business double-talk. Any time I hear any of these I want to punch someone. This is just my thread.

- Circle back next week.
- Synergy
- Look at it from 50,000 ft.
- Spearheading the project
- Touch base
- Outside the box
- At the end of the day
- Monkey off your back
- Who's baby is it?

If we pool our skillsets it will have a synergistic effect on our value stream. Let's circle back next week and look at it from 50,000 feet, then we'll attack the low-hanging fruit.
Old    Paul (fish6942)      Join Date: Dec 2005       01-06-2011, 9:12 AM Reply   
How about a list of some favorite TLAs (Three Letter Acronyms)...
Old    Nick Tomsyck (sidekicknicholas)      Join Date: Mar 2007       01-06-2011, 9:13 AM Reply   
When I started my internship this summer, my first project (that I suggested) was created a dictionary of all the abbreviations/acryonyms.... I was just lost for the first 2 weeks because people would make entire sentences without saying an actual real word.

... and now I just got placed on the North America team to help the company make the switch from Ivara to SAP.... so its me (23), 6 others from the company (youngest is like 45/50 - all try way to hard to sound smart), and a bunch of SAP consultants who are even worse.

Its great when both sides are trying to explain this or that by using this terribly complex language, this goes on for a few mintues, at which point both sides look and me and I explain it like a 23 year old and everyone gets it.

... the best part is everyone involved are "big wigs" for either our company and/or SAP and then there is me... don't have my degree yet, got the position because I "would least effect any facility with my absense" (them kindly telling me I am worthless), and I don't have a family.... but I'll take it!
Old    Nick Tomsyck (sidekicknicholas)      Join Date: Mar 2007       01-06-2011, 9:17 AM Reply   
One saying I hear now and then (when corporate visits) is that we have "Corporate Seagulls" coming by..... they're called that because they fly in, **** on everything, then fly out.
Old    Kevin Geary (WakeboardNJ)      Join Date: Mar 2010       01-06-2011, 9:42 AM Reply   
I play this as often as possible.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgeLY7CL5IE
Old    Matt (pierce_bronkite)      Join Date: Jul 2003       01-06-2011, 10:07 AM Reply   
Strategize and Action items.
Old    Akadirtbikingdad (wakeboardingdad)      Join Date: Aug 2008       01-06-2011, 10:38 AM Reply   
Eubanks: Why'd you have to do it?!

Why'd you have to remind me of the buzz word the overpowering chick used at a recent conference/class I attended? She used "granular" in every other sentence!
Old    Eubanks (eubanks01)      Join Date: Jun 2001       01-06-2011, 12:59 PM Reply   
Those are great ones!

Nick - That's awesome! I swore I was going to do the same thing when I started my current job. Over time you get lazy and don't want to do it, and also I wanted the new people to suffer just like I had to do when learning all the accronyms!


Here is a list of just ones I've heard or gotten in an email today and some of their meanings:

FPO - Financial Platform Optimization
GEM - Global Enterprise Model
NAMI - North American Implemenation
RICE - Reports, Interfaces, Conversion, Enhancements
COE - Center of Excellence
MTA - myTransactions
SOX - Sarbanes Oxley
VAT - Value Added Tax
HCM
HRM
CRM
EMEA
APAC

This doesn't include all the PeopleSoft module abbreviations people talk in every day: BI, AR, AM, PO, CA, PC, AP, EX, LA, MM, GL, etc.


And the worse, we have a clueless person in Change Management that is always telling us how she wants to "help people find their cheese".
Old    Jason G (jason_ssr)      Join Date: Apr 2001       01-06-2011, 2:39 PM Reply   
The one Ive been really hating for the last couple of years is how everything has a "space". I hear it so much that when composing emails my brain wants to start using it. I try to fight it, but I hear it so much I have a hard time finding other phrases to plug in. Then someone will reply all and ask if I mean the X space?

"Im sorry, this setup isnt really designed for the retail space."
"Our focus is on the institutional space."

I get on the massive conference calls where everyone is mic-on but there is no way to tell who is speaking unless they announce who they are. I have a WAV file of the "Price is Right" loser sounder on my PC which I can plug into a trader turret phone. Anyone says an annoying buzz word gets the sounder.

I also have a crickets WAV for every time someone tries to be funny but nobody laughs.
Old    Akadirtbikingdad (wakeboardingdad)      Join Date: Aug 2008       01-06-2011, 4:19 PM Reply   
Quote:
Originally Posted by WakeboardNJ View Post
I play this as often as possible.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgeLY7CL5IE
Had to wait till I got home to watch the video. Good stuff and how true.
Old    C.I.E. J-Rod (jarrod)      Join Date: May 2003       01-06-2011, 4:24 PM Reply   
SFDC =Salesforce.com
MA= Marketing Automation
LM= Lead Management
SLA = service level agreement
BANT = Budget Authority Need Timeline
Old    C.I.E. J-Rod (jarrod)      Join Date: May 2003       01-06-2011, 4:25 PM Reply   
CSM - Customer Success Manager
AE - Account Exe
SDR - Sales Development Rep
CEM - Customer Enablement Manager
Old    C.I.E. J-Rod (jarrod)      Join Date: May 2003       01-06-2011, 4:26 PM Reply   
http://www.bull****bingo.net/cards/marketing/
Old    Wellman (scwellman)      Join Date: Nov 2006       01-06-2011, 7:19 PM Reply   
W.I.F.M.=What's In It For Me
Old    Jonathan Bay (john211)      Join Date: Aug 2008       01-07-2011, 7:18 AM Reply   
"You need to find your white space with your marketing."

"I can't wrap my mind around what you're telling me."
Old    Trace (trace)      Join Date: Feb 2002       01-07-2011, 8:15 AM Reply   
I'm one of the two ERP "guys" at my location, so I hear this lingo all the time. A couple have already been posted, but my most-hated are:

six one, half a dozen the other
at the end of the day
granularity
rollout
buy-in
leverage (verb)
organic growth
let's table that discussion
moth-ball (verb)
risk management
going forward
seamless
boilerplate

Last edited by trace; 01-07-2011 at 8:20 AM.
Old    Ben B (benbuchholz)      Join Date: Oct 2009       01-07-2011, 8:53 AM Reply   
Try the Telecom business world, acronyms are necessary. But since they are, they're not annoying like certain buzz words are, which I actually don't hear a lot of in the office. High level directors and engineers, so they just do their job and get it done. Makes for an easy day! But man the first month on the job it sounds like a different language. DSLAMS, POTS, f1, f2, SAI, RT, FTTN, FTTCS, AP, DSI, etc. Enough to make your head spin when engineers make entire sentences out of it. I do have to admitted the one buzz word that REALLY bugs me is "six of one, half dozen of another".
Old    Eubanks (eubanks01)      Join Date: Jun 2001       01-07-2011, 9:10 AM Reply   
Trace - Oh, "Let's table that" gives me major tired head.
Old    Akadirtbikingdad (wakeboardingdad)      Join Date: Aug 2008       02-18-2011, 6:50 AM Reply   
I'm subscribed to "Daily Writing Tips", which from time to time has some good points; even if I don't use them. Anyway, today's tip was "Buzzword Bingo" and I thought of this old thread. This is pretty funny, but hope the "culprit" of buzzword usage hasn't seen this tip or heard of this game.

Beware of Buzzword Bingo

Posted: 18 Feb 2011 02:43 AM PST

Far back in the mists of Internet time (that would be the 1990s), a couple of wags at a computer company called Silicon Graphics created a subversive game that filled a need.

You’ve been there, perhaps: a company meeting at which executives or tech geeks unironically launch volleys of absurd marketing catchphrases or tech jargon. Well, these two fellows brainstormed some of the most egregious examples, created bingo-type cards with each box in the grid containing a term, and passed them around to select colleagues.

The idea was that whenever you heard a buzzword, you’d mark the pertinent box (surreptitiously, of course). As in bingo, you strove to be the first person to mark five boxes in a row. In this version, however, it was not advisable to leap to your feet and shout “Bingo!”

Instead, you would, without interfering with the official proceedings, either silently and stealthily notify your fellow participants or, if you were bold enough, ask a question of the presenter that somehow, in the context of the discussion, employed the use of the word bingo — and hope that neither you nor your competitors would lose it and bust a gut.


So, what does this have to do with DailyWritingTips.com? Don’t be that person who inspires a rousing game of buzzword bingo, or perpetuates the need for the game. If your employer or client requires you to use more than a couple of selections from the following word list in writing or speech, you have my permission to cry. (No honest person will deny having used at least one.) You also have permission to delete the term from your word-hoard and employ a handy little language called English.

Here are 24 terms — enough for one card (with a Free spot in the middle of a 5 x 5 grid):

2.0 (n.): the next generation
action item (n.): high-priority issue
bandwidth (n.): attention span, or ability to devote resources (such as brainpower)
benchmark (n.): standard
best practice (n.): a standard, proven strategy
bleeding edge (n.): an intensifier of bleeding edge; denotes innovation
circle (v.): check back with
deep dive (n.): an intensive exploration of detail
dialogue (n., v.): talk
going forward (v. and adv.): from now on (but with the implication that the period before going forward was marked by going backward — ass-backward, that is)
granularity (n.): fine detail
helicopter view (n.): overview
incentivize (or incent) (v.): to motivate
leverage (n., v.): power (n.), enhance or exploit (v.)
metrics (n.): measurements
mindshare (n.): expression of a thought
paradigm (n.): model
low-hanging fruit (n.): the simplest option
push(ing) the envelope (verb phrase): exert(ing) maximum effort
synergy (n.): compatibility
take (blank) offline (verb phrase): discuss something later
team player (n.): someone who is collegial and cooperative
think(ing) outside the box (verb phrase): to produce, or producing, unorthodox ideas
touch base (verb phrase): to meet for a status report
value-added (adj.): accompanied by an additional benefit (also used in noun form: value add)
Old    Cliff Griffin (seattle)      Join Date: Mar 2002       02-18-2011, 7:25 AM Reply   
This years hot expressions in my company are...

1 - Robust - Everything is addressed in a robust fashion in 2011. We need to take a robust aproach. Our robust index needs to continue. I want a robust effort towards completing this task.

2 - Reach out - For some reason whenever someone asks for detailed information in our company their directed to reach out to someone else. Classic move, I've taken to using it myself.

3 - Drinking the Kool Aid - This expression made my skin crawl when people started using it two years ago and it still does. I wish this expression would hurry up and die already.

4 - It is what it is - No it isn't, that's why we're discussing it. This expression tells me the person I'm communicating with is trying to bs their way out of an issue and it flat pisses me off.
Old    Joe Knochel (ridemarktwain)      Join Date: Aug 2008       02-18-2011, 7:28 AM Reply   
"TO BE HONEST" implying your not typically honest?
Old    WaterBullDawg (WaterBullDawg)      Join Date: Mar 2010       03-19-2011, 12:48 PM Reply   
So I report directly to my company’s Director of Enterprise Sales and most would say he is a douche bag. I don’t mind him so much as he lays off me for the most part and I simply don’t let him stress me out. But he uses phrases like the ones mentioned above CONSTANTLY. The worst part? He honestly thinks he invented a lot of them and then actually does have a few that he invented.

Here are some snippets from a conversation with him almost verbatim from yesterday. And the reason I can give it to you verbatim is because we have started trying to record our conversations with him bc of how ridiculous they are. Very easy to do with our video conferencing equipment now.

“Mark, Have you circled back with “XYZ” as of today? We need to leverage our common mindshare and synergy from Monday’s follow up. After this contract is signed, I would suggest writing up the highlights of this deal as a best practice for the national team, if you have the bandwidth of course.”
Here are two of the best ones he uses….you all are going to love these…..
”Penetrating often and deep” or P.O.D”. as he has been putting on his power points lately. He thinks that I get him to talk about it during our conference calls bc I think it is such a novel idea. Unbelievable.
“Mastering Important Levels First or M.I.L.F. The rationale behind it would take too much explaining, but I cannot believe he has never heard the “M.I.L.F.” expression before. But if he had, then it would be assumed he has a sense of humor which he doesn’t. At least not one that anyone can understand. Picture kind of a scrawny guy who shaves his head, has a lazy eye and talks to everyone in a very condescending tone. To top it off he drives a smart car. I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Old    Tracktor (tracktor)      Join Date: Sep 2005       03-21-2011, 5:16 PM Reply   
"Skill-set"
"Paradigm shift"
The worst for me is "book of business". Irritates the crap outta me..........
Old    KG - WakeboardNJ.com (wakescene)      Join Date: Feb 2001       03-23-2011, 11:57 AM Reply   
Jason G = hysterical!

I can't stand "Low hanging fruit" or "Automagically". Both of these are BS terms. One means your not getting to the core of the problem/Issue/Work...they other is an oxymoron(and I believe coined by Apple).

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