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Old    Steven Hahn (solo)      Join Date: Oct 2001       08-26-2005, 10:06 AM Reply   
OK as most of you know I've been working in this industry for almost 4 years and I've relocated to Arizona. I met a fantastic girl here and I've settled down and we're living together. Here's my issue, I can't get her to go to the lake with me and if she does come, she hates the water. She thinks it's dirty.... She is very understanding about my love for this sport and also knows it pays the bills from time to time. She hates when I travel to go shoot as she doesn't like me being away. Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen her swim? We've been together for 9 months now and I know that I'm with the right person and have no intentions of ever leaving her. What can I do to get her more involved? Maybe I'm just barking up the wrong tree. For those of you that are married, do you have the same issues with your spouse? Maybe it's a good thing, like Golf? Maybe I'm lucky? She does let me ride whenever I want.

Comments?
Old    Joe Umali (dakid)      Join Date: Feb 2001       08-26-2005, 10:10 AM Reply   
have her put a vest on, throw her out in the water, throw her the board & bindings, throw her the rope & handle. immediately after, yell, "sack up, be0tch!"

(Message edited by dakid on August 26, 2005)
Old    Steven Hahn (solo)      Join Date: Oct 2001       08-26-2005, 10:10 AM Reply   
Also, if you're a woman, do you date guys that don't ride? What do you do?
Old    leggester            08-26-2005, 10:13 AM Reply   
You don't want to know. You are in denial.

She hates when you travel for work?

She thinks the water is "dirty"?

OK. So it could be worse, she could be telling you not to travel, board or go to the lake.

What if you have kids? Will Daddy be the only one camping and going to the lake with them?
Old    socalgrl79            08-26-2005, 10:16 AM Reply   
Hahn,

Here is my take on the situation.. If I wasn't familiar with wakeboarding and it wasn't something I was already interested in.. I would still want to be on the boat with my significant other. I would be willing to give it a try if I knew it was something important to him. I would approach her in that way. Explain that it's really important to you (as I'm sure she knows) and it can be something great the two of you can do together. If she's anything like most girls, she'd be willing to give it a go.. for you.

On a side note, I have dated people that weren't into wakeboarding and it's not necessarily a huge deal. However, it's something great to have in common.. a definite bonus.

Hope that helps!

-Amy
Old    C.I.E. J-Rod (jarrod)      Join Date: May 2003       08-26-2005, 10:17 AM Reply   
I would take her to a pool first and make sure she can swim.

She could be one of those people that thinks sharks and big fish are going to pull her under and eat her.
Old    Randy Murray (wakeripper)      Join Date: Oct 2002       08-26-2005, 10:20 AM Reply   
I have the same issues when riding motocross. She will come out to the track and bring me sandwiches,watch maybe even film for a little bit but after that she is outta there within a couple of hours. I feel lucky enough that she even does that. When desert season hits she doesn't go out there at all she is just not the camping type. When it comes to wakeboarding though i get yelled at if we don't go out enough because she loves it that much. Anyhoo my answer to your predicament is this.....it is a blessing in disguise, i never get crap when i ride moto the same goes for when she rides her horses but when it comes to wakeboarding we have that common ground as they say couples that ride together stay together.So as long as you have some common ground you should be just fine
Old    Cliff Griffin (seattle)      Join Date: Mar 2002       08-26-2005, 10:24 AM Reply   
Baaaaah Haaaaaa Haaaaa

Maybe I'm lucky? She does let me ride whenever I want.

GTFOOH!!!

#1 - If she don't like the water, she don't like
the water. My wife is the same way, and you
will never convince her otherwise. Pushing it
will only cause her to resent you for trying
to make her do something she either doesn't
want to do, or is afraid of doing.

#2 - You sure as he!! better take the reigns on
going out when you want, or you'll end up
having to ask permission every time you want
to go like some others we know.

#3 - Don't ever,ever,ever talk about hot chicks on
the boat. This will get you in hot water in a
hurry!!!

If you guys stay together you may just find that you enjoy your time away with the boys after a while.

Old    mango (mango)      Join Date: Mar 2004       08-26-2005, 10:24 AM Reply   
I didn't think the lakes in Arizona were dirty. I would definetly take her to a pool and teach her how to swim with a kickboard in the shallow end until she becomes more comfortable with the water.
If she is afraid of being on the boat than have her wear a life vest she might feel more safe.
Old    Crackerman (ian30)      Join Date: Jan 2005       08-26-2005, 10:24 AM Reply   
I like Joes answer best. But I had a problem getting a girl to wakeboard, I finally just sort of forced her to try it. She hyperventillated and cried, the whole bit. But now I can't keep her out off of the board. Gets bummed everytime I say were not going to the lake this weekend. It sounds like you have a bigger problem because she doesn't like the water. Maybe you could bargain with her......... you'll spend a day shopping with her if she'll try wakeboarding.
Old    swass            08-26-2005, 10:24 AM Reply   
I wouldn't pressure her to try it. If she wanted to, she would've done it by now. Invite her to go along...even if it's just to hang out on the boat. There's nothing wrong with having different interests as long as you have other things in common. It sounds like you do, since you've been together for 9 months.
Old    mango (mango)      Join Date: Mar 2004       08-26-2005, 10:25 AM Reply   
I wish I could get my girl into wakeboarding. I would be willing to buy her a board and binding but I don't want to waste my money if she doesn't like it or really want to do it. She can snowboard though which is a plus.
Old    Cody (loudontn)      Join Date: Feb 2005       08-26-2005, 10:32 AM Reply   
I'll be honest with ya, I started dating this girl two years ago. We had a great relationship, everything seemed well. I got a boat last summer and we went out on it usually once or twice a week. I didn't wakeboard at the time. This summer I started wakeboarding, and wanted to go out on it more often than we did already. She gave me the same spill your girlfriend is giving you, "the water is nasty!" and she really just didn't care for the sport, saying things like, "It's so slow, you just go 20 miles an hour in a straight line." She always wanted to go places that had lots of people around (aka, bad water), and I always wanted to go to remote places with good water.

Anyways, to make a long story short. We're not together anymore.
Old    Kathi (wired1)      Join Date: Aug 2005       08-26-2005, 10:33 AM Reply   
My husband hated getting in the water. He tried wakeboarding once and it was a bad experience. But he supported me wakeboarding anyhow. So I taught him exactly how I wanted to be pulled and I ended up with the best driver and lots of water time. I miss that. Will have to teach the new man how to drive, and how to wakeboard (great waterskier).

As for what to do, I agree that trying to get her more comfortable with water will help. And at least she does go out there with you. If she won't ride, maybe teach her to drive and she can pull everyone and feel like a participant.

Good luck.
Old    Paul Bernier (wakeriderixi)      Join Date: Jan 2004       08-26-2005, 10:35 AM Reply   
My girl likes wakeboard, just scared to have another face plant. She got jealous of watching me wakeskate so much she had to try it. Before she got the chance I had her in the water with no vest on holding the board underwater with only her feet holding the board down. Got her to do some underwater shuvits and whatnot without the board flying up to the surface. She got up first try with a deepwater start (board already on your feet under the water, both hands on the handle) now she wants the 'pretty' wakeskate shoes from DVS and loves it!

Not sure how this exactly applies... just giving different ways how someone can get hooked.
Old    fifitrixabelle (fifitrixabelle)      Join Date: May 2004       08-26-2005, 10:35 AM Reply   
Have you varied it up? Taken her to different locations, drove faster/slower? Maybe try to find out specifically what she does not like. Maybe it is something keeping her on land like house chores or laundry? Maybe peeing in the water seems slightly distasteful to her or she doesn't like to go fast cause her hair gets in her face. Either way good luck and congrats. If you know she is the one, then the water thing shouldn't matter. Just do your own thing and enjoy the time you do spend with her.
Old    Dennis (denystaucd)      Join Date: Feb 2003       08-26-2005, 10:36 AM Reply   
It’s a common comment we get this all the time living on the delta in Cali. “The water is too dirty blah blah blah”

This typically relates to major phobias (aquaphobia/hydrophobia to be exact) a person has not address. Since not addressing phobias is easier then addressing them. Typical the dirty water excuse is a cover for a person never learning to swim and therefore doesn’t realize how buoyant you are in water. So not going boating is a by-product of the fear of “instantly sinking” if a person gets in the water. Getting a person to learn about the buoyancy people have water is the first key step in overcoming hydrophobia.

I’m probably wrong though and it might just be that if a person thinks the water is “dirty”, but they don't consider where water comes from in your home (the lake with a little chlorine sprinkled in). I have the benefit of telling people here in northern Cali that “if you think this water is dirty don’t go to southern Cali, cause you’ll be drinking the dirty delta water.”

DC
Old    Paul Bernier (wakeriderixi)      Join Date: Jan 2004       08-26-2005, 10:38 AM Reply   
Like Kathi said..... teach her to drive..... The only thing I hate about riding personally is that i'm not driving the boat..... I take pride in pulling others.
Old    Paul Bernier (wakeriderixi)      Join Date: Jan 2004       08-26-2005, 10:40 AM Reply   
if the waters too dirty for her move here to Florida..... home of wakeboarding anyways.
Old    BG WCC (bigpapaf1f)      Join Date: May 2005       08-26-2005, 10:45 AM Reply   
I was with a girl for a year and a half(We just split up 3 weeks ago) She said that she liked to wakeboard and I know she loved it at my houseboat, But she did not like to go all the time, and she just wanted to stay at the HB and not go ride. I ride 3 or 4 weekdays(delta) and both days on weekends(HB), She would get mad cuz the only thing that I want to do is wakeboard and I spent more time on the water than at her house, so we would fight all the time. If you are both happy and not fightin then its all good. Let her know how you feel. For me I could not do it, I want a girl that love the sport as much as I do. Hope it all works out.
Old    Gsnieski (gdog)      Join Date: Jun 2005       08-26-2005, 10:50 AM Reply   
wow, i'm never going to complain again. my girlfriend will wakeboard, snowboard, motocross,
as much as me. in fact, she's mad when i go and she can't. and we board in the delta,so she likes getting dirty. or maybe she's dirty? yea thats it!! hang in there steve. she may end up liking the water
Old    stake_sawced            08-26-2005, 10:56 AM Reply   
i wouldn't mind if my girl didn't want to participate in something i loved (like boarding)...just as long as she didn't mind me not participating in something that she loved...like SHOPPING!!!
Old    Steven Hahn (solo)      Join Date: Oct 2001       08-26-2005, 11:43 AM Reply   
Amen! I hate to go shopping with her and she doesn't understand why. Gdogs girl seems to be the optimal situation but good luck finding one like that. That's like hitting the lotto!
Old    Joe Umali (dakid)      Join Date: Feb 2001       08-26-2005, 11:47 AM Reply   
be thankful this girl actually likes you. that should be enough. her wakeboarding is a bonus.

(Message edited by dakid on August 26, 2005)
Old    Jonathan Metherell (jonm)      Join Date: Jan 2002       08-26-2005, 12:01 PM Reply   
Tell her you think she is dirty but you still get in her.

If that doesn't solve your problem, I don't know what will.
Old    Jonathan Metherell (jonm)      Join Date: Jan 2002       08-26-2005, 12:06 PM Reply   
OOps.. Just read Gdoggs post. My joke is already out there.
Old    Scott Taylor (taylormade)      Join Date: Jun 2001       08-26-2005, 12:13 PM Reply   
Funny thing is she liked wakeboarding when I was with her... :-) JUST KIDDING MAN.

My girlfriend (of three years) JUST rode last weekend for the first time. I didn't pressure her at all and in fact I spent an afternoon with her showing her how to drive the perfect line and double up and she loved pulling me. I asked her ONCE years ago if she wanted to go and told her how much fun it was. She politely declined, said "maybe some other time" (which I've come to realize means "whenever I decide the time's right"). I never brought it up, just always told her how much fun it was, even when I was wrecking my knee and my ankle and wrist. This past Saturday, I took a set, came out of the water, was getting ready to set the ballast up for surfing when she said "hey, hold on a minute, I think I'm going to try it". I couldn't drive home fast enough to get her one of my smaller boards with smaller bindings. She got up first time, rode around the lake and finally ate it hard when she took a cut into the wake.
Old    Stephaneee (stephaneeee)      Join Date: May 2002       08-26-2005, 12:19 PM Reply   
Are there other females on the boat or just all guys? It could be she is intimidated by being the only female. If that is the case, I would be more than happy to help you out and go ride (hehe). Maybe hanging with another female would give her some incentive to give it a try. I'm an average rider, so she wouldn't be intimidated by my riding...at all!

Always available for a pull in Phoenix...
Old    Ronia (ladythump)      Join Date: Jul 2004       08-26-2005, 12:32 PM Reply   
Hahn,
Being in the boat and being in the water are two different things. If she doesn't like just being in the boat, don't force her. You do your thing and she'll do her things.
Old    Jon (jon4pres)      Join Date: May 2004       08-26-2005, 12:37 PM Reply   
My girl likes the boat but like yours would rather just stay there and not get in the water. It is super hard for me not to pressure her into wakeboarding but I know that wont help anything. I offer and if she says no than i dont push it. The thing is that she has never really been around water sports so I bought a tube the other day because she said that she would do that. I figure it will get her in the water and maybe she will like it enough to try wakeboarding later. I just hope that she doesnt decide that she totally hates it. But the thing is that I love her too much to let wakeboarding ruin my relationship. I love wakeboarding but can never compare to how much I love her.
Old    Steven Hahn (solo)      Join Date: Oct 2001       08-26-2005, 2:06 PM Reply   
That's a funny story Scott. After her fall, will she continue to ride? I know if my girl took a digger, she'd be done. That's saying I even got her in the water.
Old    pate            08-26-2005, 2:18 PM Reply   
Steven,
There is hope. I have been married for 14 years and now she is addicted to boarding. Used the same excuses as your girl, water too dirty, didnt like the sun, etc. etc. Now she keeps asking when we are going to get the boat out and ride. By the way she just launched her first wake jump two weeks ago. You may need to come up to Kennewick for a photo opp?? LOL...
Old    Dan Lee (dan_lee)      Join Date: Jan 2003       08-26-2005, 2:21 PM Reply   
You got to do it up in style. You need a boat that she's comfortable in. This one will work, and here's Jimmy Wolfe checking out the wake behind it, so you see you both can win. It's for sale right here in your hometown.


Old    Paul Bernier (wakeriderixi)      Join Date: Jan 2004       08-26-2005, 2:38 PM Reply   
Girls tend to be really limp/relaxed when riding and never really squat into a cut or pull their legs up in the air. For this reason when the bring some speed into the wake they often catch an edge with loose body position and get some really nasty slams. For this reason... if you do get your girl up... never EVER really force her into jumping the wake until shes had enough time to just ride/be pulled behind the boat as if she were just in a tube. Your buddies may be pissed about it but tell them to suck it up and drink their beer, it's getting warm! Faceplants are going to happen but less often if shes comfortable with what shes doing and after a number of sets just being pulled shes probably going to ask for some pointers. After all its only so long anyone can watch people getting air without having an urge to try! Good luck!

PS to all the women on this site that think im calling you all out as not riding with power, aggression, etc.. or just not being good..... I'm not. I'm just referring to my experiance with women that come out and want to try but arnt exactly 'stoked' on the sport.
Old    Matthew Bird (ldr)      Join Date: Nov 2002       08-26-2005, 3:02 PM Reply   
when my wife and i were dating it was known that she would have to wakeboard if it were to work out. I remember her asking me if it hurt when you fell. i lied and said "NO, it's only water" she then went out and face planted three times in a row before finally gettting up. I thought she was going to kill me at that point but she took it in stride. Her dream is to throw a raley, even though she knows it will never happen. The only problem is that i go out a lot without her and she doesn't like that very much because she's always stuck at work. At times i'm very envious of the guys whos significant others lets them ride whenever they want. I guess there just always has to be compromises.
Old    dahui            08-26-2005, 4:31 PM Reply   
I guess I was very lucky that my wife was born and raised until the age of 10 in a small own called Page, Az. For those of you who dont know where that is, its about two minutes from Lake Powell. She grew up on lake Powell and I must say that there hasnt been one time in our 10 year relationship that I have wanted to go and she has not wanted to. She is always bugging me to go. Ive got her jumping wake to wake now and she has a blast. She still cant drive worth a crap though.
Old    CIREboardshorts.com (nuckledragger)      Join Date: Jun 2004       08-26-2005, 5:23 PM Reply   
Steve,
I'm in the same boat my friend. My wife is afraid of the water. I have gotten her up on a wakeboard and have taken her surfing and she loved every minute of it. I finally found out that she is afraid of what is under the water. She doesn't care if it dirty or cold, etc., she is petrified that something is going to come up and get her. The more you push it on her the more she will resent you and the sport.

So....I have just learned to live with it and go out and ride with the boys. She will come with from time to time but I never it push it on her. Continue to invite your girlfriend to go with you (she will keep saying no) but at least she will think you want her involved. Then they can't say anything like "well you never invite me to go ride with you, that why I don't ride". If she feels that she is in control by turing down the invitation, she will still support you and your habit. Once the invitations from you stop, then the resentment will set in. You will find the time away from her with the boys to be a godsend.
Old    Scott Taylor (taylormade)      Join Date: Jun 2001       08-26-2005, 5:32 PM Reply   
Steve, to answer your question: Yes, she wants to go again, we just haven't had the weather for it (stupid hurricane ). Here's the double edged sword: when she fell, she landed hard and ended up hurting herself pretty good. I wanted to tell her all the ways she should try to fall while she was in the boat, but thought better of it because I knew she'd probably decide against riding if I focused on the "falling" part of it, even though it's inevitable. So I let her ride, she did fine, was carving in and out of the wake and thought she was ready to cut into the wake... she wasn't.
Old    Stephen Higgins (srh00z)      Join Date: Jun 2003       08-26-2005, 7:37 PM Reply   
I have had a similar situation. The water we ride in is dirty, but my fiance never wanted to go because it was hot sitting around in the boat and never swimming and we always had all of my friends in the boat. She went more this year than ever and she would bring her own friends along and we found nice inlets to pull over for a swim from time to time to get out of the heat. I never pushed it though, she still doesn't understand why I like going so much, but she supports me (she even helped reupholster the boat).
Old    Jo Shmoe (joeshmoe)      Join Date: Jan 2003       08-27-2005, 4:35 PM Reply   
cut your losses, sell the boat
Old    Peter Sharp (gobigorgohome)      Join Date: Aug 2005       08-27-2005, 4:44 PM Reply   
Don't force the issue. If she doesn't want to go then no worries. You can put her straight on the water thing though, a'' the lakes around AZ are really clean, especially Lake Pleasant. She won't catch anything from the water.

Pete
Old    tclagggym            08-27-2005, 8:34 PM Reply   
I think you know the answer. Go with your gut feelings. I've been married for along time because we enjoy the same things. There are other fish in the sea.
Old    Laci (tcluv85)      Join Date: Jan 2004       08-27-2005, 8:47 PM Reply   
Don't push it with her, let her come along at her own pace. Can she swim?

Make sure she knows she is invited to go out whenever. Also take her around the community. After you get off the boat, when you stop for food invite her to show up then and meet everyone.

When you take a trip invite her and have her meet other significant others that don't ride.

Just ideas.
Old    dahui            08-27-2005, 10:12 PM Reply   
The thing that sucks about canyon and saguaro lake in Arizona is they have this new algae in the lake. The algae is completely safe for humans but it kills the fish. There have been a lot of dead fish in these lakes the past two summers. My wife was so pissed because while we she was boarding I kept driving her by this 10lb catfish that was floating dead in the water. Everyone in the boat was laughing their ass off. She didnt find it funny. I still hear about that. I hear they have had this algae problem in Texas too. So I wouldnt take her to canyon or saguaro

(Message edited by Dahui on August 27, 2005)
Old    JT (aidan)      Join Date: Feb 2004       08-27-2005, 10:36 PM Reply   
Da Hui,

ain't you long way from home, brother? Go Ewa little league!!!!!
Old    dahui            08-27-2005, 10:46 PM Reply   
Yeah thats my old home. I miss it there. Yeah those kids from Ewa are kick ass. I like when some kids from the islands represent. Must be the poi
Old    superfresh            08-28-2005, 12:42 AM Reply   
what up steven? I cant really give you any advice, but if you get tired of walking up against that wall we should hook it up- Im a girl and I love to rip it up on the wake, and I thought it smart to invest in my own shizit to ride on yep-- look me up if your ridin southern Oregon waters bro-- al miller
Old    Tom (laptom)      Join Date: Apr 2002       08-29-2005, 2:42 AM Reply   
Steven, I think that the advice Stephaneee gives is really good. Let her hang out a few times with you guys and relax a bit and show her how much fun it is. After a while invite some girls (maybe friends of hers) and see if see will ride then...

I'm blessed with a girl which like riding (and sports in general) as much as I do. It's great to have common things and spending time together in a great way.
Old    Shane (wakebrdrnc)      Join Date: Mar 2004       08-29-2005, 5:55 AM Reply   
My ex-fiance' was like that. Notice the "ex" part. There was alot more to do than just wakeboarding with us not working out but it was a huge part. I agree with Matt about the denial thing.
Old    Jamie LaMar (jamie_lamar)      Join Date: Mar 2004       08-29-2005, 7:39 AM Reply   
A friend of my told me LakeRats marry LakeRates and have little LakeRats, no other way will work for us. You need to find a LakeRat chick so you both can be happy doing what you love together. Take it from me, I'm a LakeRat who married a chick because she was cool with me racing. But with her being a LakeRat too we now spend more time on the water have great times together and building memmories with our little LakeRat. You know what makes "you" happy and what would make you happier, now go after it all the time!!!
Old    Steven Hahn (solo)      Join Date: Oct 2001       08-29-2005, 9:03 AM Reply   
I think I just got propositioned by Alana? Excellent! JK I love my girl even if she doesn't ride. Thanks Alana!
Old    corkyswx2            08-29-2005, 10:48 AM Reply   
One of my friends deals with the same thing. Drags the girl to the lake for her to bitch about the water being gross and she just wants to lay on the transom to tan. My advice?
DUMP HER.
Old    Scott Root (sroot1)      Join Date: Aug 2005       08-29-2005, 10:50 AM Reply   
Steven
Run DO NOT WALK Run! Dude It's Not like you have a liftime invested and a Pack a brats to take care of!
Unless you want to play with Youself, then see your budds hanging with their Honeys doing what they enjoy!
If you have to coherse or beg Why Bother.
And my crystal ball says as soon as you do the "I DO" crappola some betty is gonna show up and ride your Boat all day and Torture you! Then your EX. will own your boat and anything else she can get her hands on! Good Luck!
Old    Steven Hahn (solo)      Join Date: Oct 2001       08-29-2005, 2:09 PM Reply   
WOW those were words of encouragement!
Old    robertt            08-29-2005, 3:29 PM Reply   
I have a great marriage, based on the fact that we do not share hobbies. We go our separate ways to do the things we love, and neither of us have a problem with it. When we are together, we have a great time.

We do not have to be together 24/7. Don't really want to be.

So she doesn't like boats or water...so what. You probably wouldn't like scrapbooking and would beotch up a storm if you had to go to a scrapbooking store. I wont go...for craps sake!

Two things that are critical for a long lasting relationship...

1. Brutal honesty is for suckers, don't do it. Some things are best left unsaid.

2. Complete and total devotion to each other all the time is unhealthy. Screw that! Have a good time with your buddys, and when you see her you can give her your all.

Some relationships I have seen that were based on liking all the same things failed miserably, because at some time in the future one of you will change. It just happens. Maybe you get injured, maybe she takes up something else. If the relationship is based on liking similar "hobbies" you are doomed.

I have seen it time and time again. They always say the same thing "but he/she changed". Of course they did! Everyone does.

Question is.....can you love to be with her even without any similar interest. It is inevitable, eventually you will have to.
Old    TSO (tyler_o)      Join Date: Nov 2004       08-29-2005, 9:31 PM Reply   
Steven,

Tough situation and I won't offer any advice other than to share with you my situation in hopes that it gives you some insight into things down the road.

I've been happily married for 11 years and have two daughters. Where does my family spend most of our free time? As you might have guessed it's on the water. My wife is hard core and charges it every time she rides. My oldest daughter just learned to ride and loves it and my youngest is coming up fast. The theme here? If you love boating/watersports and ever plan on having a family there's no better place to spend time together. Think about Monday morning discussion around the water cooler. Do you want to be the Dad/husband who went to the lake over the weekend with friends while your family went shopping or do you want to brag about how much fun your family had together and how your planning a big trip next month? Your not going to have the second option with your current significant other.
Old    John (summerobsession)      Join Date: Jun 2005       08-30-2005, 9:08 AM Reply   
Robert: I certainly hope you know a good divorce attorney, you are going to need one!

Steve: As many others on the board have said, RUN!! I realize you say you love this girl, but look deep down and write a list of what it is about her you love. You might be surprised. I only wish I would have known these things earlier in life, sure would have saved me some money!!

If you were jsut a casual rider, it would probably not matter, but you aren't and trust me that will cause too many problems in your future.
Find a woman that will go with you even if she doesn't want to, just to make you happy!!! Then spend the rest of your lives trying out-do each other when it comes to making the other one happiest!!! How could you lose in that situation???
My wife and I take the time to think through how the other person feels about things, and then do whatever we feel is right.
We do have similar interests, but even when I go out on some tangent or other, she is always right there willing to get in the thick of things! So far, she has enjoyed everything we have tried. We jsut bought our first tow boat she popped out of the water her first try!! I haven't quit telling her and everyone else I see how awesome she did, and she can't wait to go back to the lake and try again!!

If you really want to be happy long term, at least find a woman that will TRY some new things for YOU, even if she would rather not. That should tell you if she really loves YOU or not!!

Sorry for the long rant.
Old    socalgrl79            08-30-2005, 9:11 AM Reply   
That was my exact point.. if it were me, I'd at least make an effort to try it for someone I love. I would want to have that in common and be able to share that interest, so I'd give it a go.
Old    robertt            08-30-2005, 9:40 AM Reply   
I hear ya, but trust me loving the same things isn't an absolute necessity.

I have been married for 13 years now, we got married right out of school.

My wife actually loves to go out on the boat, and wants to learn to ski or board. She is smart enough to know that I would be the worse person to teach her, thank goodness:-)

I do quite a few things as "hobbies", and while I still do all of them I tend to drift my main focus from one to the next. I skydive, rock climb, bike, mountain bike, ride motorcycles, whitewater kayak, etc.

there is NO WAY my wife wants to be involved with all of those. Our time together is special, we have a great time together regardless what we do...we just don't force our needs and hobbies/sports on each other.

The relationship should be based on love and enjoying each others company, not on a sport.

I see the point both ways, I just hate to see somebody leave the person they love and that might be the best person for them due to a sport.





Old    Gsnieski (gdog)      Join Date: Jun 2005       08-30-2005, 12:20 PM Reply   
this thread would give dr phil a run for his money.
Old    Ronia (ladythump)      Join Date: Jul 2004       08-30-2005, 1:10 PM Reply   
Steven,
The bottom line is: some people prefer to enjoy the same things as their significant others while other prefer to have seperate interests. You need to figure out which one is right for you and your girl.

PEACE
Old    tbunny74            08-30-2005, 1:47 PM Reply   
Robert T- I think you have it all RIGHT!! Everything you said... having "some" things you do together is awesome and definitely a benefit. BUT, we all need to have things that are our "own" per say. My boyfriend likes to wakesurf, and I do as well, however I dislocated my shoulder on July 4th and now that it's weak, all I can do is drive or sun bath.

Life happens and you can't base a relationship on shared hobbies and interests...it has to be on respect, loyalty, and love. The rest will work out. Like you said, people change, their interests can change.

I would say that as long as you are up front with your mate about what's important to you, then you've been fair.

A man that thinks his mate should "try" to love all his interests is coming from a male ego centric view point...

appreciate and celebrate the differences...and hopefully you're significant other will try some of your hobbies, but if not, that's okay in my book.

I don't drag my guy to Passion Parties. Although I'm sure he'd like 'em.
Old    Scott Root (sroot1)      Join Date: Aug 2005       08-31-2005, 7:07 AM Reply   
Ok Thats it! Now you dissin Dr.Phil! I'm callin Orca Winfry right now! She's gonna kick your ***!
Anyhow Dr.Phil said to post this!
FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep,I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh! Send a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to " How Big Is my Behind?" I pray that this man will love me to no end, and always be my very best friend.
Amen

MALE PRAYER
I pray for a Deaf-Mute Nymphomaniac with HUGE BOOBS who owns a liquer store and a Wakeboard boat. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a ****.
Amen


Old    Alan Slabaugh (alans)      Join Date: Aug 2005       08-31-2005, 8:14 AM Reply   
I love my girlfriend, I have dated foo-foo girls and its a waste of time. I always made it a rule not to date girls that could not ride (snow, skate, wake, surf) and found it too hard. So I bagged that rule and started dating girly girls, big mistake, it was miserable. The month that I brought back the riding rule I met the love of my life on a snowboard trip. She had just decided to pick up snowboarding and went on this group trip I put together, she worked with a friend of mine. We ended up going riding every single weekend from Feb. 1 - late March. Then Wakeboarding season came along and I told her about the sport, that I had a boat and how I ride about 4 days a week. She says she can't swim. Uh...Oh. Next thing I know she buys a Substance 134 with some Sphinx and a vest. We go on a riding/camping trip in early April(first time camping too) and the rest is history. She rides every time I do, has a few grabs and toeside and heelside jumps down. Booked a snowboard trip to Whistler last week for the winter. She is amazing, and well worth the wait.

And by the way, my girl is a dirt/germ freak, thinks the water is nasty too, won't even pee in it. Thats why she helps clean the hell out of the boat after every time we ride.
Old    Alan Slabaugh (alans)      Join Date: Aug 2005       08-31-2005, 8:33 AM Reply   
Maybe not to all but for me, water/boating is in my blood and part of my life, it is not just a "sport." Wakeboarding is a sport. I could not be with someone who can not understand that feeling. If you are like me, lose the chick if she won't try to get out on the water.
Old    natxbrotha            08-31-2005, 8:40 AM Reply   
tell her to suck it up and start getting on the boat with you and swimming in the lake, or you are splitting up. its that easy. this will be a burden on you for the rest of your life if you marry this chica... you will ALWAYS here about how she doesnt like you to travel, etc... theres many fish in the sea brother, and in my honest opinion, shes not the fish you wanna catch. especially if shes already laying the guilt trip on you. good luck though and i hope everything works out.
Old    Gsnieski (gdog)      Join Date: Jun 2005       08-31-2005, 9:09 AM Reply   
i like the male prayer scott. what if orca winfry was the deaf mute,with huge boobs,wakeboard boat,etc. would you???

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