Reflectives unite!

I got stuck on the phone dealing with the IRS today...as you can imagine they were in rare form with the wait times this time of year. With all that free time on my hands I decided to fire off a crazy humorous post about wakesurf contest divisions on another site. It didn't cut and paste well but I don't want to post a link.

Offical Petition for Recognition
of the Component of BaldING as
Requisite in the Division of
Masters.

I respectfully submit, for your consideration, these facts for the proper determination that baldING is a necessary component in the masters division.

All competitive divsions are based upon properly reflecting participants skill levels, such that the broadest participation and competitive spirit are combined into the most logical class or division.

1) It is easier to judge when all members of the division or class
have the same basic amount of hair. During intense wakesurfing
the sun's rays can reflect off the reflective surface of
entrants that are baldING in such a manner as to require
specific eye protection for judges in the boat. This wearing of
eye protection obviates a prejudice towards non-reflective
participants.

2) Those participants with baldING characteristics are forced to
endure difficult aerodynamics. At wakesurfing speeds, principally
10.5 to 12.5 mph, there is a slight downdraft eminating from
the transom of the wakesurf vehicle. This downdraft, when it reaches
the northern most region of the wakesurf participant, becomes
unstable (not to be confused with the somewhat common INSTABILITY
of the baldING participant). This is ofetn referred to as wind shear.
The lack of suitable protection from this wind shear puts
those participants with baldING characteristics at a decided
disadvantage.

3) It is generally recognized that wakesurfing judges, due to the viewing
angle have difficulty focusing on all aspects of the riders
performance. Many judges, even with years of experience and
training find that the visual cue differences between those with and
without baldING characteristics is difficult to objectively
compare. A simple visual comparison objectively substantiates
this difficulty.


Example of a Non-reflective participant:

Picture of the IS "super model"


Example of a reflective participant:

Picture of me door surfing


Those with baldING characteristics deserve objective comparisons
by judges.

4) Those participants with baldING characteristics MUST, to avoid the risks
of cancer, apply significant layers of sunscreen. These
layers of sunscreen applied to the northern most regions of the
participant's create a top heavy weight imbalance. As such, creating
an unfair advantage for non-reflective or non-baldING participants.
For purposes of safety, alone, and to NOT encourage avoidance
of sunscreen, a separate component in the masters division truly is
required.

5) Non-reflective or non-baldING participants avoid the difficult
"water sheeting" effect wherein, excess water runs down the
reflective surface into the participants eyes. This avoidance of
the water-sheeting effect gives an unfair advantage to non-reflective
participants.

For the reasons enumerated above, I respectfully request that the organizers
of the XXXXX State Wakesurfing Championships end the prejudical
treatment of baldING contestants and add the requirement that baldING
is a component part of the masters division.

That's what the IRS does to me!

I have judged you many times and I can verify that your lack of hair has required that I wear DARK safety glasses because I am the closest judge to you. Before I purchased said DARK glasses I probably wrote your score in the wrong spot because of the blinding effect. No wonder you won that contest. Those of us whose brains have not protruded past our hair do have the disadvantage of aerodynamics.

Jeff just because judges are covering their eyes when you surf you assume that glare from your highly waxed northern region negatively affects vision and causes squinting.

I'm aware that you do not wear contacts or other corrective eye wear while surfing. As such you are not able to fully asses the facial expressions of the judging crew.

You may note that judges are covering their eyes regardless of which direction you are surfing. Do you recall the overcast and rainy weather conditions at Nationals last year? With overcast conditions you have to ask yourself why the judging crew still covered their eyes. The only logical conclusion is that judges are not covering their eyes to protect themselves from excessive glare.

I believe that the truth of the mater is that the younger and pelted judging crews are averting their eyes for other sound reasons. I’ll leave possible and obvious conclusions to the forum.

Show you are too much