Wifes Driving

Somebody has got to help me. I can't figure it out. My wife when shes driving is so freaking horrible, I've tried to explain but she still is killing me. We have pp and yet she still seems all over the place with the throttle, i can't figure out how. when i fall she power turns first....then slows down. Then when we turn around she doesn't cut back through the rollers and keep the same line, she runs parrallel. Its to the point i'm wanting her off the boat, but one problem she's the only driver I got. Women I'd love to hear your approach to this. Or husbands that have experienced the same problems!

First chill, then find someone else to teach her some of the finer skills of driving. Often happens to couples where they do not listen to each other and get frustrated quickly with each other. Bring in someone that is respected, and they are willing to learn again. Get it?

That actually sounds like a great idea. I'm gonna try it this weekend if my neighbor can make it. Thanks for the info!

thats subject for divorce.... KIDDING!

don't know man, gonna have to get someone to ride and stay in the boat with her. draw pictures of how to turn instead of giving mental pictures, explain why you turn the way you did and what you should be looking for and why. drive it for her while she watchs first, answer any questions, then let her take a turn. as far as throttle speed... make her learn how to drive correct speed without PP first. show her how to throttle with only fingers so she doesnt go all over the place speedwise. have her drive all the 'friends' so she gets practice.
if ever there was something that required practice to get it perfect in this world... wakeboard boat driving is it! good luck!

...... another thing....... dont just tell her how to do it, tell her why your doing it. sometimes things are going to have to change based on whats going on out in the water, knowing why something is done a certain way is going to give her the tools to properly deal with unexpected obstacals. when taught how to drive a triple up someone showed me but I did them all wrong because the come around loop, no one told me to slow down to almost 15mph so that a monster wake is put out.. when I figured that out it made much more sense and now I have no problem.

Brett, I feel ya man!
Having PP is a big bonus right away, but does she know that she should'nt touch the throttle after the beep?
I had to do some of the most excrutiating driver's training with my wife. It involved just getting out and driving with no riding for several days. It was killing me especially because it was on good water days. However, it really paid off! Try patient instruction with a couple drinks in you, use a ton of positive reinforcement, never compare her to another woman driver, tell her that she looks very sexy in that boating outfit, and finally dig deep and tell her don't worry about crashing or causing damage, it's just a boat and you want her to have fun and feel relaxed when boating.
If you pull this off many husbands will want you to write a book.
I'm still working on it, mostly fine tuning. Sincerety is the key.

My guess is that you get so frustrated that your communication falls apart. Soon she is defensive and you are semi hostile (at least on the inside). If so, you are going to have to not go there. Accept the deficiencies and work them out. Next time you are out, drive and explain everything you are thinking as you do what you do. Explain what and why you are doing everything. Its really a matter of life and death.

as far as perfect pass.... does everyone relize that its not 100% set it and leave it alone. there is stuff you still need to do when driving double ups and so on. more then just steering. pp doesn't hold speed as good as a good driver does.

What Peter said. Good luck !

Hey don't feel bad. The first time I tried to teach my wife to drive the boat she sat down in the drivers seat and first thing she asked was "Where are the brakes?" This is no joke.

Paul PP does hold speed better then most drivers. Perfect pass holds speed better then 99.9% of the drivers who are paying attention to where they are going, or other boats around then, or the jet ski flying around them like a knat. As Keith Code http://www.alibris.com/search/search.cfm?qwork=8817149&wauth=keith%20code&matche s=15&qsort=r&cm_re=works*listing*title used to say "you only have a dollars worth of attention" if you use up 75 cents worth watching your speed then you only have 25 cents left for everything else. PP does required a two small adjustments in turns but will recover itself by the time you go to jump again if your not going for the double up. Unless you can process data as fast as a computer Id hesistate to say your better then PP. Hey that gives me an idea.

oh man...i think this thread is gonna blow up ...i think us guys have secretly wanted to post this about the wifeys/gf's for sometime now but feared the reprocussions

i have to agree with paul on the pp not holding speed through a double up,(have to give it a little more throttle) however.... it will hold it right on every where else(about 95% of riding)

brett, you have got a pretty big boat...might want to ask the dealer who you bought it from to show her how to do the throttle with the finger tips and boat driving rules/etiquette.

i've kinda notice this where guys might do a little bit better than women...(you cant drive and really socialize at the same time or at least, i cant..)you have to really pay attention to the rider and what else is happening..

This is why I'm a big proponent of boat driving/handling clinics and not just riding clinics. It is *much* easier for someone to take instruction from a "teacher" than from a friend or family member.
My mom was easy to teach because she knew she was clueless when it came to boat driving and asked questions. Friends, however, have gotten on my boat thinking they know everything and I do good to get one jump off as they pass 22 on their way from 19 to 25 and vice versa. They are a little harder to teach, especially if you are already frustrated. You just have to take a deep breath and relax, then calmly suggest a better way to do it.
My advice, blame it on PP, tell her that perfect pass is great on the straights so she won't have to touch the throttle, but in turns, especially tight turns where you cross back over your own wakes (hint..hint) you have to help it out a bit, not much, just a little gas going through the turn and pull back coming out of the turn. Women hate to be told they are doing something wrong... so make it look like Perfect Pass is deficient.
Also, mbrown's idea of just going out and driving is good too. You can do this before you start wakeboarding. As soon as you get out there, take a few spins around the lake showing her some tips on driving, then let her take the first run to burn off some frustration.
Good luck...
Tiff

Brett, I use to have the exact same problems that you are going through. I'm a first year rider and first time boat owner...and my girlfriend has never really been on boats, much less ever tried to drive one. So, needless to say the first few times out were a total nightmare....speed all over the place, power turns, running over the rope, running over me in the water, etc, etc. Then the best thing happened....she wanted to try to ride one afternoon...so I let her. She did really well, got up 3rd try and was able to ride with little problems (she's pretty athletic and picked up a lot from watching me I guess). Anyway, because she got into riding, she then realized how important it is to be a good driver because she expects the same from me when she rides. So every tip that I give her now she applies because she knows where I'm coming from.

So, see if you can get your woman riding...then she'll begin to understand.

oh...another thing, my girlfriend now can put it off and on the trailer, dock it, and keep 22 mph all day long even without perfect pass...I've gotten really lucky...she is by far the best driver to ever drive my boat!! (had to brag for a second)

I went through the same problems. I have a couple of friends that helped her while I was riding, and it really seemed to help. One of my buddies wives said that the only way to do it is to have someone else teach. I also have had some sessions with her where we won't have a rider behind us, but we'll practice on the starts. I have found that I'm not quite as much of an a** when there's not a rider behind us. I gave it some time, and now I feel like she pulls as well as anyone that I ride with. I think that part of the problem is that she didn't get a lot of wheel time. If I was in the boat and we were pulling friends, I was usually the one driving. That's the first habit that I had to break. Also, we spent a lot of time in the school parking lot backing the trailer. Not only did I have her practice backing straight; I also got her to back into parking places. Now there's no frustration when she goes to back the trailer in. I'm guessing that this winter's project will be loading the trailer on the boat and pulling up to the docks.
On a side note, we were out riding one day; and when I fell I noticed a big power turn and she runs back to me at what seemed like wide open throttle. After she passes me she turns the boat and hits reverse to stop it. After I finished getting hit by all the wake I asked here what the heck she was doing. She replied back that there was a boat coming straight at us not slowing down, and she was protecting the rider. I looked around, and in fact there was a buddy of mine that she didn't know who was coming straight out to us to say hello. I did thank her for paying attention, and it does make me feel better knowing that she is looking out for the rider.

You ever thought about having her pull other riders while you are in the boat with her. That way you can sit next to her and explain the reasoning behind your driving tactics.

Trying to tell her what to do while you are in the water and she is driving the boat is nearly impossible. I've been a high performance driving instructor for 8 years. Giving someone instruction after they blew a turn on the racetrack is entirely worthless. You have to observe their problems and tell them what to do before they make the mistake. If someone blows a turn at the track I wait till the next lap and talk them through that corner as we come to it. Break it down for them in simple steps. If you try to correct after they've already made a mistake you a) make them defensive and b) cause them to mess up the next step because they are thinking of the last mistake they made. Hope that helps.

BTW my fiance flat out doesn't drive the boat. We've been together for 10 years now, we actually met on a boat, but its out of her comfort level. She has the skills, but freaks out when there are a bunch of other boats around. I am comfortable knowing she could handle the boat in an emergency, but other than that I'll never push her to drive the boat and risk the resulting argument when I try to tell her what to do. I don't know your wife, but some people just don't deal well with that type of situation. I remeber being little kids and my step mom freaking out drivng the boat, whipping power turns every time my dad fell and yelling at the kids to get back in their seats.... Ha, ha those were the days.

I'm hard on my wife at times and I know that. If I'm having a bad run I remotely think it's her fault, I'll give her a hard time. Although she does tend to get distracted. I'm thankful for her because we've been together for a while and she knows how I LIKE IT. So big props to the wife's that drag there unappreciated husbands around.

This worked great for me. My wife was ok at driving and loading but just could'nt get the next level. We took some lessons for myself and the kids on our boat from a local school that provided an instuctor. I asked if he could also give my wife some driving tips while I was up. It worked great, she was receptive to the instuction and learned a lot about driving with a rider. kind got 2 for the price of 1 lessons.

Slippery subject, fellas. Be calm, and loose any ounce of hostility, then just explain/demonstrate. Worked for my wife. She pulls pretty well. Even with no PP she's got speed control down, except when a favorite tune comes on, then she may get a bit distracted from the speed control. She skis too so she gets the need for good water/speed/pull. Backing trailer, she's nails, better than 95% of the guys on the ramp. Patience: none, so she goes after the wallys on the ramp, which is pretty funny. Loading the boat on the trailer...I've given up on this. She still a little freaked that there is "no brake"......I'm now grooming my 12 year old to load the boat. BTW, I've never seen a frosty cold beer hurt the communication lines (on either side).

As for whoever above.... With 3000 pounds in the boat I do believe I can drive the boat better then perfect pass. Given someone steering exactly the same but one only with pp and the other me... I feel you'll be much happier with my pull. Especially in a lake where you must turn alot. I can anticipate turning and i compinsate for it. In double ups and approching sliders/kickers/ whatever.... me on the throttle will would be much better then pp. I can keep the boat within 0.5 mph up or down. pp adjusts after the fact, i dont.

not at all trying to sound cocky.. ive just had it out with pp before and i hate it.

Definitely get someone else to teach her b/c there is a listening barrier b/t male/female. I only hear some of the things my husband says, don't know why. My dad taught me how to drive a boat when I was little, so this has never been an issue for us. I didn't know about going back through the same path until I read about it on wakeworld. Thanks guys!

i know what your sayin...im 14 so cant take the boat out by myself so my dad usually does. but when he's not home my mom does...shes awful..to say the least...seeing how we dont have a PP. She'll be goin like 15 so ill tell her to speed up and she'll go like 25 and then it happens all over again

Testing out the theories this weekend wish me luck. Thanks for all the input...I'll let you know how it goes!!!

I have no problem admitting that my wife is probably a better driver than I am. She has, however, been around boats her entire life compared to my one year of boating. No more power turns anymore for either of us thanks to having a guest on the boat awhile back. It helps being around experienced people who do not mind offering up useful info. Brett, good luck with your wife's driving.

Evan's got it right! The only way is to learn by example. I've been driving for 10 years, but towing for 5. I still don't feel comfortable in tight spots. You need to also get some hand signals down, especially when there are other riders down - "Don't thread the needle" so to speak. Some drivers just keep driving and don't take other riders safety in consideration. there are other things to contend with besides "Power turns". The speed is only a tip of the iceberg. How is she with other issues, ie: safety, consideration, and awareness? These are key elements of a good driver. Without it, you can have other issues. We ride the delta, and there are times when I refuse to drive because if I feel uncomfortable. Not because of myself; because other drivers are IDIOTS! And it's not worth the stress I'm under to deal with it. So be patient and if you're only issue is speed and power turns then you've got a potentially good driver. Don't give up on her!!!

For the turning back around over your own rollers issue, try giving her something to look for.
---->>> the dashed line is the path she drove. The arrows are the wake. have her drive a straight line for a decent distance, and then stop. Have her look behind the boat when you stop, and show her where the wakes are headed, and point out the trail of bubbles on the water that show the path she just drove. When I have a new driver, I show them the trail of bubbles, and tell them that it is the road map they need to follow when turning around. it usually helps.

With patience, it can really work out. My lady had never driven a boat before we started wakeboarding, and after 3 years, she is hands down the best driver I have ever riden behind.

I am fortunate in that my wife is a GREAT driver. I taught her the same way that I taught my kids to drive at an early age. With just my wife and I in the boat, I let the ski line out and she practiced pulling just as there was a rider behind the boat.
First we practiced starts. Then she moved to pulling a rider and keeping the boat at speed and straight. Then I would throw out one of those "Mae West" life jackets ( the overstuffed orange ones) out the back of the boat and tell her "rider down" and have her practice the turn around and pick up. She then went through the whole drill again...Only after she was completely comfortable with this did she pull a rider ( with me as an observer) She now is about the best driver I have. I also taught my wife to drive the boat on to the trailer from day one. She gets compliments all the time from people on the ramp on her skill at getting the boat on the trailer...

I have a few questions for you, and I apologize if it has come up before, because I did not have time to read all the posts:

Does your wife truly WANT to be your boat driver?

If yes, then why?

If maybe no, then where's the quid pro quo, meaning what's in it or her?


These basic questions need to be well understood before any of the excellent training suggestions offered above can have an opportunity to come into play fully. The training suggestions offered by othres above are great, but they mostly seem to assume that your wife is 100% committed to the idea that she wants to be the "Travis Moye" to your own personal "pro tour." Have you really explored this assumption?

I am coming from experience. My wife can potentially be an excellent driver, even before perfect pass was invented, she could be spot on and usually was when we where dating. As the years rolled by, she became less consistent, now sometimes downright sucks.

Obviously, it has nothing to do with her lacking knowledge and ability in terms of operating the boat, do you see? I had to come to understand that there are other factors that come into play, which is something most married couples have to deal with. Maybe this will help you consider the situation from a different angle.

Brett, who's your third? OR maybe your state doesn't require one? If or if not one is required my strategy's the same; post on "Find a Third/Be a Third" for a woman rider/driver to tag along with you and give your wife some pointers. As other's have suggested, the ladies just don't appreciate our constructive criticism and if she's never been pulled behind the boat, she has not appreciation for what you're trying to tell her. But what seems to be universally true among these beautiful creatures is their competitive nature with one antoher. So if the lady boarder/driver is any good your gal will have to step it up by the very essence of her hormones. Of course this could all backfire and you could find yourself swimming for the shore while the gals look for a place to anchor and drink beer.