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Old     (bendow)      Join Date: Sep 2005       06-21-2010, 10:54 AM Reply   
Do you guys think an 8 year age gap in a relationship is too much of a difference? I've been dating a girl for the past 3 months who is 8 years my senior. I'm 26 and she's 34. She's never been married and has no kids. One of her best friends has made unfavorable comments about our age gap. Her friends opinion doesn't seem to effect hers, but it made me wonder if it's a problem...
Old     (cwb4me)      Join Date: Apr 2010       06-21-2010, 10:58 AM Reply   
it's your life you have to live it not your friend. just do what makes you happy.
Old     (pesos)      Join Date: Oct 2001       06-21-2010, 11:00 AM Reply   
Nothing wrong with learning to cook in old pans.
Old     (psudy)      Join Date: Dec 2003       06-21-2010, 11:01 AM Reply   
If she doesn't mind, who cares. When you are 34 and she is 42, you might start to care.
Old     (lizzyb)      Join Date: Sep 2005       06-21-2010, 11:12 AM Reply   
I guess it would depend on what each of you want for the near future. At 34 she may be looking to settle down and get married and/or start a family. At 26, you may not be ready yet for that.

If neither of you are on that page nor want to be on that page anytime soon.. I don't see a problem.
Old     (nauty)      Join Date: Feb 2004       06-21-2010, 11:16 AM Reply   
I've got 6 years on my wife and we've been married over 7 years. However, in your case I would imagine that she's pretty darn close to being ready for kids, so be ready for that. Her clock is ticking..........
Old     (deuce)      Join Date: Mar 2002       06-21-2010, 11:17 AM Reply   
My father is 10 years older than my mother.....doesn't seem to have been much of an issue for their 45+ years of being together....

In the end, I don't think the age thing matters....assuming that you have the same understanding where the relationship is and is going....
Old     (acurtis_ttu)      Join Date: May 2004       06-21-2010, 11:38 AM Reply   
I've got 7 years on my wife.

It's your life and your relationship. Are you the type of person that people's opinions matter? the older woman , younger man relationship is still somewhat taboo in our society unfortunately. Those comments won't just stop with her friend.
Old     (behindtheboat)      Join Date: Aug 2006       06-21-2010, 11:42 AM Reply   
dude her friends are jealous. You are the man! Live yours and let them watch or decide to live theirs
Old     (stephan)      Join Date: Nov 2002       06-21-2010, 12:16 PM Reply   
Serious, her friend is probably a lonely old hen that plays with her 6 cats and hasn't got laid in 4 years.
Old     (barry)      Join Date: Apr 2002       06-21-2010, 12:29 PM Reply   
My wife is 8 years older than me and we're celebrating our 22nd pretty soon. I can't remember a single time that it's been an issue.
Old     (wake77)      Join Date: Jan 2009       06-21-2010, 12:30 PM Reply   
If you are not worried about it and she is not worried about it, then don't worry what other people think. Any girl is always going to have the friend that thinks something is a bad idea. Maybe the friend is jealous, maybe they don't hang out like they did before you were in the picture. What people have said about you two maybe being in different stages in life are true. When women hit the mid-30's, with no kids, they feel the biological clock is ticking extra loud. My wife is 3.5 years older than me. We get along great, but she is more rambunctious about having a child than I am.
Old     (fly135)      Join Date: Jun 2004       06-21-2010, 12:31 PM Reply   
It's kind of wierd but it seems that it's only women that have a problem with a woman being older than a man. Even though they wouldn't bat an eye about a man being 8 years older than a woman.
Old     (chris4x4gill2)      Join Date: Sep 2009       06-21-2010, 3:20 PM Reply   
If your happy, go with it man! My wife is 10 yrs older than me and she is my best friend. The best part back when we were dating was that older women are past all of the petty bull**** you get too often with girls in their twenties.
Old     (chris4x4gill2)      Join Date: Sep 2009       06-21-2010, 3:22 PM Reply   
Oh, as to your comment about her friends having negative things to say, just look at the friend doing the talking. I gurantee that perso nis unhappy with their relationship status. They either cant stand the person they are with or dont have anyone at all.
Old     (bendow)      Join Date: Sep 2005       06-21-2010, 3:46 PM Reply   
I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but it just made me wonder if it is a big deal. Her friend is 42, divorced 2 or 3 times, single now, no kids, so maybe that's why she has made negative comments. What's funny is her maturity, which is due to her age is what I'm most attracted to.

Everyone commented on the biological clock thing...I'm all too familiar with that. My last GF was 5 years older than me. We were together for 2 years and before I knew it I was at wedding conventions, watching her read wedding magazines, etc. I was 23 at the time and was definitely not ready for that. As soon as I made that very clear we ended up splitting. The girl I'm seeing now doesn't seem to be in any rush. I could be wrong, but at only 3 months of dating I don't think that should even be a conversation topic....again, could be wrong.

Anyway, thanks for all of the encouraging comments, I knew I could find approval here.
Old     (bendow)      Join Date: Sep 2005       06-21-2010, 3:48 PM Reply   
and forgot to mention, she took me to meet her family now that I think of it I don't think it's really an issue with her
Old     (sidekicknicholas)      Join Date: Mar 2007       06-21-2010, 3:59 PM Reply   
Its only weird when you're young.
16 and 24 is kinda weird.... or 10 and 18 is reaaaal weird.... but the older you get the less it matters.

Bang her friend and reminder her how spritly young men are.
Old    deltahoosier            06-21-2010, 4:30 PM Reply   
Nothing like being a senior in high school cruzing by the 4th graders and thinking one of these days......
Old     (lizzyb)      Join Date: Sep 2005       06-21-2010, 4:48 PM Reply   
16 and 24 is "kinda" weird? I'm pretty sure that's weird. Period.
Old     (polarbill)      Join Date: Jun 2003       06-21-2010, 5:08 PM Reply   
Originally Posted by lizzyb View Post
16 and 24 is "kinda" weird? I'm pretty sure that's weird. Period.
That isn't weird, it's illegal.
Old     (ritchieps190)      Join Date: Aug 2001       06-21-2010, 5:08 PM Reply   
"The girl I'm seeing now doesn't seem to be in any rush. I could be wrong, but at only 3 months of dating I don't think that should even be a conversation topic....again, could be wrong."

Seems like the exact issue with the age difference that her friend is worried about. She's 34 so she knows by now that she either wants kids or doesn't etc.
3 months is plenty far in to find out where you two are headed in a "general sense" and if you were older, you'd know that...
Old    bigdtx            06-21-2010, 5:21 PM Reply   
Having been in a long term relationship with a woman who was 35 when I was 25 it was not a big deal at the time. We eventually broke up and both moved on.

When I turned 40 I looked back and asked myself if I would really want to be married to a 50 year old woman - load your guns ladies - but the answer was no. What can I say - the truth is the truth. I eventually married and divorced a woman who was 10 years younger than me. You might say that I got what was coming to me - and you could be right - but what I learned through all that - that many people already know - is that it's about shared interests - enjoying the same activities, the same music, the same type of travel, etc.

If you both enjoy the same activities then your chances for success are stronger. I think when you're younger you tend to pretend to like the things the other person likes in order to advance the relationship - not realizing that you can't keep that up forever.

Take off the mask and be yourself.
Old     (brettw)      Join Date: Jul 2007       06-21-2010, 6:05 PM Reply   
More important than age is whether or not she likes to wakeboard or do anything else behind a boat or at least hang out around boats. If not, dump her.
Old     (bendow)      Join Date: Sep 2005       06-21-2010, 6:18 PM Reply   
Originally Posted by brettw View Post
More important than age is whether or not she likes to wakeboard or do anything else behind a boat or at least hang out around boats. If not, dump her.
LOL...funny you mentioned that...when we first started talking I told her I loved to wakeboard and showed her a video of me (the one in my profile) and she was completely enamored by it. She loves to watch me ride...
Old     (kstateskier)      Join Date: May 2002       06-21-2010, 8:54 PM Reply   
I've got 6 1/2 years on my girlfriend, I'm 30, she is 23 right now. To tell you the truth, we don't even notice it anymore. I think it may be a lot different the other way around though, as us guys seem to mature a little slower than the women!
Old     (cwb4me)      Join Date: Apr 2010       06-21-2010, 9:01 PM Reply   
i think BIG D hit the nail on the head. if you have common interests you grow old together. if not you grow apart sooner or also need to ask yourself the kids question do you ever want them.
Old     (behindtheboat)      Join Date: Aug 2006       06-22-2010, 6:50 AM Reply   
Originally Posted by polarbill View Post
That isn't weird, it's illegal.
Not in some states. And it happens more than you'd realize
Old     (diamonddad)      Join Date: Mar 2010       06-22-2010, 12:51 PM Reply   
Great reply BigD. Its definitely about shared interests. Its critical to have a woman who is interesting and interested in the similar things.
Old     (chris4x4gill2)      Join Date: Sep 2009       06-22-2010, 1:45 PM Reply   
This is true regardless of the difference in ages.
Old     (jason95gt)      Join Date: May 2006       06-22-2010, 6:21 PM Reply   
AS others have stated, if you are both at the same point in your life about future and family then whats in an age? Don't let other people get in the way of you being happy.
Old     (phantom5815)      Join Date: Jul 2002       06-22-2010, 6:50 PM Reply   
I have a 12 yr gap in my relationship...... I'm older ( no I'm not a cougar!! I was not the one to pursue the relationship either) The age gap did bother me a great deal early on in the relationship.
It may change tomorrow, but our lines of communication are very open. We both have an understanding and a great relationship at this point in our lives and we're comfortable how this situation is for now.

I guess it depends upon where you are in your career and place in life.
Old     (wakeboardingdad)      Join Date: Aug 2008       06-22-2010, 7:17 PM Reply   
It's only an issue if you make it one. If you have fun together, enjoy each others company and have similar interests, don't make it one.
Old     (wakeboard_pittsburgh)      Join Date: Jul 2008       06-23-2010, 1:07 PM Reply   
I tried it twice in a couple of years ago, both times it ended up bad. They seem normal at first, but any woman that old that has not been married has serious underlying issues (at least from my direct experience).
Old     (magicr)      Join Date: May 2004       06-23-2010, 1:24 PM Reply   
She loves to watch me ride...

Freudian slip? mmmm.... older women!
Old     (committed)      Join Date: Jul 2005       06-23-2010, 1:33 PM Reply   
I wouldn't let it bother ya. That gap isn't too large, but just communicate, talk, be straight with her. She might say she doesn't want kids today, but that crap can change next week. Tell her friend to lose 10 lbs and keep her opinions to herself.
Old     (snowslider76)      Join Date: Mar 2002       06-24-2010, 9:18 AM Reply   
My wife is 5 years older and my girlfriend is 5 years younger, it works out perfect
Old     (colombiansurfer)      Join Date: Sep 2008       06-24-2010, 11:30 AM Reply   
My cousin was in the same boat as you. Now he is regretting it because she is 9 years older than him and showing her age. He is 40 and she is 49. Look at it like this, you get to use AAA sooner than later and you get Senior discounts too!
Old     (fatsac)      Join Date: Jun 2004       06-24-2010, 1:07 PM Reply   
Just my 2 cents from a lot of dating:
Single women in their 30's are almost always one of these three: desparate to marry, bitter, or completely comfortable where they are in life. But if you two get along and enjoy each other, who cares what anyone else thinks.
If you found a good one, hang on to her mang, good luck, and to hell with the rest!!
Old     (bendow)      Join Date: Sep 2005       06-25-2010, 6:09 AM Reply   
She doesn't look her age at all...I was shocked when she told me she was 34. She's a lot more adventerous than other girls I've dated too...I had to re-install the passenger pegs on my supermoto...she loves to go for rides on it, whereas other girls I've dated were scared of it.
Old     (chris4x4gill2)      Join Date: Sep 2009       06-25-2010, 6:09 AM Reply   
Jason - Best of both worlds?
Old     (hyperlink)      Join Date: Nov 2003       06-25-2010, 11:01 AM Reply   
Pictures would really help this thread haha
Old     (depswa)      Join Date: Nov 2000       06-25-2010, 12:04 PM Reply   
My future ex-wife is still in grade school! j/k :P
Old     (joeshmoe)      Join Date: Jan 2003       07-15-2010, 3:50 PM Reply   
I have to agree with big-D here, women do not age very well
Old     (jason_ssr)      Join Date: Apr 2001       07-15-2010, 4:52 PM Reply   
I wouldnt sweat the age stuff. As someone who has been in several long term relationships I can tell you that all those types of things never end up mattering much. Oddly enough, all the little character flaws that you find funny or endearing now, will annoy you later.

Bottom line, the only thing that really matters is character and integrity. Beauty fades (unless youre my wife, married to a photographer, or youre asian....I think Im all covered...) partying dies, love cycles through stages,and attractive alternate opportunities will always pop up at some time. The only thing that keeps things afloat is the persons character and the integrity they show their commitment.
Old     (cwb4me)      Join Date: Apr 2010       07-15-2010, 5:02 PM Reply   
jason g you hit the nail on the head.
Old     (wstr01)      Join Date: Feb 2001       07-15-2010, 5:54 PM Reply   
Guys, 50 isn't old. It used to be, but not anymore...........................................
Old     (bendow)      Join Date: Sep 2005       07-16-2010, 9:44 AM Reply   
wow...this thread was brought back from the dead. We're still doing well with no problems other than a few jealousy issues that always seem to be common. Here's the only pic I have of us at work...I promise, we're both in there!!! lol
Old     (fly135)      Join Date: Jun 2004       07-16-2010, 2:27 PM Reply   
My solution to this problem was to marry a girl who looks 10 years younger than her age.


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