Convincing the Wife to Be (long)

I feel your pain. I married a doctor as well. Lucky for me she was willing to buy the lake house and the boat. Many of my friends with equivalently educated wives cannot get them to the lake. Too dirty, to buggy, to weedy, too smoky, too much sun, too far, too bla, bla, bla. Their husbands and kids love the lake. The wives of many hate it. I am blessed with a wife that would rather be with her kids (and husband) doing what they want, than with her kids doing what she wants. A difference lost on more than a few (hey I went to Kung Fu Panda tonight – I can take one for the team with the best of them).

My advice is to attack the student loan. It makes no financial sense to pay it off but my wife was possessed when it came to paying that thing off. After 10 years, I can still remember the day I wrote the check that paid off her loans.

My kids rode behind an IO for 4 years before I got a real boat. I gave up a few hobbies the first few years of marriage. They come and go as time allows, but the lake has been great for us and the kids. If your wife wants to work in SW Ohio, I’ll be sure you have access to a boat and lakefront property. I know the schools and will help you find a nanny. I can set her up with a meeting with the hospital CEO at her convenience. PM here and I’ll send you my cell number. You are going to be rolling in cash, absolutely rolling. Pay yourself first. Spend a little and save a lot.

I am also an engineer, you will eventually have to come to grips with the fact that while you have spent your life in the top 10%, you married into the top 1%. That does not mean she calls the shots, it does mean you better have your ducks lined up when you present any plan for anything.

It is not a sign of maturity or respect to just step out and spend tens of thousands of dollars on the eve of your wedding. Nor is it a sign of maturity and respect to say your desires are on hold for 10 years.

Marry once, marry well, and never marry again

SD2

Dude, I'm an old dog now, so, heres my professional opinion: Nip this problem right now! Buy it, bring it home, and ask her if she likes it. And... don't skimp on the boat! If your going to "do the time, then commit the crime!"

I rolled up to the house one day with a 38' Fountain that my buddy and I had bought. The wife was outside on driveway with her jaw on concrete when we pulled up. My buddy and I were laughing our butts off knowing what was about to unfold!)It was quite a sight. We had bought it together and she had no clue.. she freaked! but got over it. We laugh about it now!

I don't recommend this for everyone... depends on your relationship(and if you can truly afford it without it affecting your current situation). Personally, my wife and I are best friends too, she knows I'm gonna do this stuff, and she married me! Kind paved the way for some more fun stuff... Now, she just shakes her head and says "whatever"... See, you have to break her in man!

Andy,
I'm in Nashville and just bought a boat a few months ago from Brandon Cruse with Central KY Inboards. He is a great guy and it was an easy experience. I wanted to spend around 20 and he found me a 98 Air Nautique in great condition with 325hrs on it. I highly receommend getting in touch with him and telling him what you are looking for. I'm also in the same situation in that i'm 29 and were about to have kids in a yr or so. My wife had never wakeboarded but loves it already.
Chris

Tim M. you nailed it!

Oh and for all you "Young Bucks" out there... Learn from us older dudes:

"Rings DO plug holes!"

So buy that darn boat son!

Right Kevin?!

Just buy it then let her name it.

Look on the bright side, when you are ten years older she will be able to fix those aging knees so you can show your kids how you use to ride back in the olden days & hopefully she can sew your nut's back on for you( If she still has them in her purse)...

Right on Tim. When you bring that new toy home and all she does is roll her eyes...your home free!

If she is not into the stuff you like now, it is not going to change for the better. Get the boat now.

"I'm still proving financial responsibility to her since I am a spender and she is a saver. I pay 100% of the bills currently and still save."

Wait a minute... You pay 100% of the bills and she won't let you buy a boat? I'm sorry but this girl better be smoking hot and do something phenomenal in the sack. Hmmm... maybe this is why I'm still single! lol

drag it home. you can afford it on your own if she doesn't want to play.

I didn't read everything....but start crying like she will when she wants to stay home with the kids!

.....finance 5 years? ..........didn't see if you had a house.....but my 40000 wakeboard boat is costing me 162 a month for the rest of my 2 lives.

But in 40 years I will be dead or my house will be worth 4 million or so......then the 40 g's will not mean much any more.....and the 162, well thats life!

dont use your own hard earned cash!

A lot of good input here but let me point out something that I dont think was mentioned here.

I have noticed with some women they are into the boating lifestyle or not. There is no way you are going to change them.

Flip the scenario around, if your wife was passionate about something such as shoe shopping or scrap booking do you think you would like to do it every weekend? Like someone said eariler, I dont think there is any convincing.

When I read threads like this it makes me appreciate my wife. I love getting those calls when I'm at work and she says "Get out of work so we can take the boat out".

http://www.wakeworld.com/MB/Discus/messages/3183/576595.html?1210023687

my advice....... buy a cheap boat for starters..

I had a huge post going and decided to sum it up by saying this:

Respecting her opinions and desires does not mean getting her "permission". Compromise is the key, but it goes both ways.

And never say never when it comes to a new mom wanting to stay home with baby....things tend to change when the most perfect thing you've ever done looks up at you!

.....oh whatever you buy yourself.....spend the equal value on something she wants........and you'll see how savings go out the window!

you work don't you? get the freakin boat man! stop draggin that ball and chain around, your not even married yet! Its a crime to have lake property and not have a boat. Wake boat is the only way to go if you like wakeboarding and wakesurfing. And the prices keep going up. Wakeboats are a investment.Just do it, worry about the consequences later.

My wife loves our new boat . She was the one who insisted that we needed to upgrade, and I'm very glad that she finally convinced me to do it... Heck, she even lines up people to go ride, packs the goodie bags and the dogs, drives, gives the newbies instruction, picks the music... well, ok, the picking the music part is a bit of an issue I'll admit, but after reading this thread, if the "chick music" thing is our only sticking point, I figure we're doing OK.

My relationship advice is simple. Marraige is a lifelong commitment. Only marry someone who's going to make you happy for the rest of your life! If you're already talking about making major sacrifices in your favorite hobby, you two need to have a serious talk about your future together, more specifically, you need to figure out what other major sacrifices you'll be making down the road...

My financial advice: Save the money rather than financing the boat. Apparently you and your wife are in (and will continue to be in) the income bracket where you can afford these types of purchases. For people like you, don't sweat the small stuff. Stop worrying. Start living.

(Message edited by Monkey on June 09, 2008)

After 8 years of marriage I can say, get it worked out BEFORE you tie the knot. no matter how far committed you think you are now, its alot easier to back away before you tie the knot.

Just a quick update to let you know that I'll keep you all posted on what happens. I've been a little busy at work (overtime = more boat money), but I'll get some time to talk to Anne about this.

One thing I keep seeing people being confused on is the salaries. She makes decent money now but doesn't make her 6 digit figures until she becomes a full time attending doc in 3 years. Our combined income of $100k is a lot of money for the area we live in. We live in Northern, KY which is dirt cheap.

I'm traveling for work, but when I get back I should have an update. Lots of good info, I like the comments about me getting my balls out of her purse. In my defense, I do the things I want but a boat is a big purchase and I want her to be able to enjoy it with me.

The bottom line is this, I need more time riding on the water. With my parent's I/O I get about one 15 minute session per day! I could get more but I know everyone in the boat would rather go tie up to drink and be social. With my own boat, they could go back to the party and I could ride and work on deteriorating my knees more. Plus I could stay out later while they all head back and make dinner ;)

Lots of good advice here, I'm going to eventually call the contact given here to look for a prostar 205. Start out small and go from there.

Thanks again,

Andy

I tell you what...you come out with us, we'll have a great time on the water (wakeboarding/wakesurfing/etc...). She'll she see how much fun it is and then we won't invite you back...so you have to get a boat of your own!

Show her pictures (I can't take credit for this cutie) and tell her "Kids love boats too!" The sooner they are on the water, the sooner they'll be comfortable on it!

Dude this is what i might do..
#1 Not bring the subject up until after she get's a few exams finished and support her as much as possible. Emotiaially i mean.
# 2 Have pics of really hot expensive wakeboard boats in your garage as a reminder too her that you really wan't a boat maybe someday.
#3 Throw in some pics of you on the boat smiling looking good with natural good looks.
#4 Have some better pics of her in a boat.
#5 Mix family pics on boats.
You said she finished med school 3 yrs. ago, so i'm guessing she is in her third year residency.She probibly has a boat way on the bottom of priorities right now ,so the only way to get it higher on her prioirities is like you mentioned before too warm her up too the idea.
I'm smarter then that though!Life is too short..

Paul Brothers - Awesome idea. Just out of curiosity, where do you all ride at? Maybe we can meet up sometime and ride? As a return favor I would welcome you all down to my parent's place on Lake Cumberland near Burnside Marina.

East Fork (WH Harsha Lake).
Sure. We look for thirds/fourths on some odd weekends.

Sorry I'm not on my home PC to grab photos but maybe someone should start a thread - "Families Love Boating" and all post up pix of great times. Any doubting fiances could be directed to the thread for some quality evidence.

My wife had spent zero time on a boat before we got together. I converted her, she loves it and it is awesome family time. Turned out to be a natural talent, and becoming a great driver. She can pull me out on a long line barefoot deepwater start without killing me - must be a keeper!

Many/most all of my great memories from childhood are at the lake. I expect the same for my kids.

Sorry for sounding harsh, I'm an old guy & three marriages under my belt ,2 grown daughters & 2 young sons now. I've caved in to others plans for my life & with my third wife knew who I was when she met me ,So why change to accommodate thoughts on changing things that are not broke. Use your youth wisely while you can, My oldest son is 10 & I hurt like hell trying to stay up with him.

(Message edited by otown_dave on June 10, 2008)

Start modest with your first boat and try to pay cash. I personally think that this 'I got to have the best right now' is one of the things wrong with our culture and it may go a long way to your bride to be seeing you sock money away for your goals and not adding debt. You can always trade up later. Since you have a lake house and a family 'social boat' no need to get something big that is an entertainment platform with all the niceties. Focus on getting a functional wake machine. I would shop around for a gently used v-drive with EFI in the $15-$20K range. With the economy and gas prices, more and more coming into the market in that price range.

I'm with AtTheLake - that's what I did. If you can save up the 15K and put 10 of it into a used boat right away, you'll be way ahead of the game. IMO, you should always be ahead on purchases (in terms of having paid off more than it's worth when accounting for depreciation). That way, if you ever do decide to have "other priorities", the boat will always be worth more than you paid and you're free to sell.

Let's be honest - now is the perfect time for you to buy a boat. You're in a position to save the money and buy it responsibly, you've got decades to enjoy it ahead of you and plenty of opportunity to make it worthwhile.

Realistically, I hope that your fiance will enjoy the boat at least half as much as you do (which would still make it worth it), but if not, now's your best chance to do this... Not every purchase the two of you make will be thrilling for the both of you (think big screen TVs, etc). but what's important is that you can work out something that you both find acceptable. If the boat is paid for (fully) in less than 2-3 years, that shouldn't be a deal breaker for her since you won't still be paying for it when the kids arrive, lol.


Good luck!!

(Message edited by shesfearless on June 10, 2008)

I think I've made up my mind and I'm going to do it. I don't expect her to be extremely happy about it but I want her to support it.

So I really like the prostar 205s, honestly I can't find a better boat under 20k, let alone a v drive. Is it possible to get a sub 500 hr vdrive under 20k? Id much rather keep re budget to $15k now and buy something nice down the road.

I found a prostar 205 not far from me asking price is $15k. Boat is super clean but hours are 920. Seems like a lot. Is it even a good idea to buy a boat with 900 hours? I definitely don't think I'll drop 15 on it.

V-drive under 20K is possible, but more likely in the off season and you may have to drive and pick it up. That is what I did. I new what I wanted, set a budget and looked for about 6 months. I haven't seen many Prostar 205V's in the sub 20K range, but there have probably been a few.

DD 205 for under $20k is easy. But may or may not be the ideal boat for a boarder.
I had a 94 for 7 yrs & loved it. Sold it 2 yrs ago with about 700 hrs on it. 800 lbs of ballast & an Ichor tower on it, handled great & kicked out a medium size, firm wake that most boarders & foil riders loved. Bought it for $17k, dumped about $3k into it. Used it for 640 hrs over 7 yrs. Sold it for $17k.

V-drive is definitely the preference for a lot of people though. And price will usually be a bit higher because of that.

Do your homework & start watching the ads now. There will be more & more deals towards the end of summer & into the fall. Meanwhile, save, save, save so you can offer a cash deal to a seller. I bought mine in October & got a much better deal on it because of that.

I don't really need a huge wake, but a vdrive would be nice for the added space and rear weight. I would much rather spend less to get a DD.

How is the surfing behind a 205?

some discussion going on here about surfing a 205

http://www.tmcowners.com/teamtalk/showthread.php?t=24111

Andy,
im 15 now and i cant remember a time when we didnt have a boat. my dads been boating since he was 18. hes 40 now and we still do. if you really want something that will keep your kids out of trouble when they are older Buy the boat. i love boating so much and i am very greatful for what my parents have givin me. if we didnt have a boat we wouldnt have meet some awsome familys that live near our cabin. boating brings out the best in everyone. i cant stress enough that boating is excelent for kids. just put on plenty of sunscreen

dude tell the chick thats the way it is and get what you want. when you get married she gets even more of a say on it and you might never get it

X2 Fanatic, thanks for the thread! I didn't even know about the site itself.

Dylan, thanks for your perspective.

I think I'm going to print this entire thread out for her, I think it will help.

BTW, just got an unexpected bonus at work which will pay out Friday. It was also about 4x the amount of what I was expecting. I've been working my a** off so I think I deserve it.

Actually, another quick question, do the 205 and the 205V share the same haul? Is surfing even a possiblity in the DD 205?

I'm not going to knock a MC205. They make a great wake and OK surfing wave and I never turn down a ride behind one. If you are going into the sub $20K market, you will find more options if you consider other brands. There is not much difference between them in the power trains. The main difference between the boats will be how new they are, the trim, and as with any used boat the condition will be the primary factor determining value.

Here is a list in somewhat descending order of the prices of the used brands. Top of the list you will more easily find newer (5-8 year old) v-drives for under $20K and the bottom of the list you will be more limited to boats that are direct drives or more than 10 years old. Which is better is a matter of unending debate. Personally if I was spending more than $15K on a boat it would have to be a v-drive with EFI and I would 'skimp' on the brand to get into one. Others hold different views on this and will only consider one of the 'big 3' brands. All of these brands have models that throw respectable wakes but produce different size and shaped wakes. The DD models are OK and can throw comparable wakes as v-drives with the same hull (yes 205 hulls are the same) when weighted correctly but it boils down to whether you want a large, somewhat noisy, vinyl covered hump in the middle of your boat.

Moomba
Sanger (probably not many in your area)
Centurion
Tige (One last to go with all wood construction)
Supra
Malibu
MC / Nautique

You will find more flexibility in prices starting after July, and even more flexibility after labor day, but this is a crazy year so timing may not be as big a deal.

edit: 900 hours is not too many if well maintained. When you start getting near the 2000 mark, then I would be more concerned.

(Message edited by bmartin on June 11, 2008)

Awesome post, the main reason I like the MC is the hull in the older boats seems to be way ahead of its time. Especially since the haul is still comparable to the current model boats.

I think I'll end up with a DD for my first boat to keep the costs down. Eventually, I'll upgrade to a Vdrive for more space and more improvement.

The less money I spend up front the easier it will be to get Anne on board.

A DD will get the job done and the MC205 is a great hull. Keep busting your arse and collecting those bonuses and you will be in one in no time.

After you settle the boat thing, it will be time to move on to more pressing matters like your bachelors party and posting up the pics!

The MC hull is not the only one that made a hull before its time. The original Wakesetter/Sunsetter LX and VLX hull is still around and sold new as the V-ride and the I-ride. The Super Sport Nautique and Sport Nautique hull is the same hull as the recently retired Super Air Nautique hull. All of these hulls were around for about 10 years or so. You should try to get some rides behind each before locking into one hull. They are all great, as are the other brands that AtTheLake mentioned. The only reason I recommend looking at multiple brands is that given your price range, you may want some options to expand the number of boats available to you.

Everyone is right about how much fun the family will have with the boat. It is a great time with the kids. Kids love it etc. With that said its a huge expense. Honestly your priorities should be:
1. First buy a house. Which you already have!
2. Three months salary in some liquid form just in case (savings)
3. Ability to max out retirement contributions.
4. CCs paid off or at least really low balances. You have this!
5. You have no car payments even better.

Seems like, based on what you say, you should be able to buy yourself a boat. I bought my first boat before getting married. It was not a priority for her and had I not bought it before hand it would have been hard to get it once married. Once you start having kids it gets even harder if its not a priority for her because it is a bug expense. If you have it going into the relationship then its just always there and becomes part of your lifestyle. Her more important things are probably for re-doing the kithen and baths, buying a bigger house, vacation trips etc. These are, usually, all nice to haves like the boat.

If you are really already in good finacial shape then go for it.

Find a shop in your area with someone who knows alot about boats including gel coat issues. Take the boat into the shop and pay the 100 bucks or whatever it is to have checked out and to do some tests. I know of 2 guys in the bay area here who if i left a boat with they could find most of the imperfections and what may have caused them. Also try to find a boat with limited past owners {hopefully 1 owner} and ask as many questions as you can so that you can really have a better idea of what you are buying when you take into have the boat checked out. There are probibly alot of guys out there that have alot of experience with rebuilding and maintaining boats. I even know of 1 guy here that was a quality control inspector for the big 3 boat manufactures. Someone like this can tell you alot about a boat and not just oh wow dude this boat throws a good wake..

Oh yea, definitely in the process of planning the bachelor party for the weekend after labor day. I'll get some pics up in the non wakeboarding section after the event. Planning on Friday night riding quads at my parent's farm, saturday = pig roast & poker tourney, saturday night = party bus from farm to Louisville for bars and more propaganda. The farm is about 1 mile from the genlteman's club so we are all good to go. I don't really care for the club but we'll probably end up there.

So I've been working on my budget since I have a bunch of things I need to spend money for the wedding and honeymoon. I could easily afford a $15k boat right now but I think I am going to wait until this off season for the following reasons:

* Stick it out one more year on my paren'ts I/O, hell it throws a mean wake, just need a good driver. I'll just focus on surface and learning W2W spins.
* Buying in the off season = best price available plus I don't have to pay to winterize this year
* Parent's friends are using the second garage spot for their boat and I'd hate to kick them out, they are awesome people
* Parent's are about 90% sure they are getting a bigger boat for next season that will not fit in the garage. This also justifies my boat purchase since I will no longer have access to a ski boat. They will also not need the truck to launch their boat as it will stay in the water.
* Next Feb-Mar I can pay full cash and still have money left over for whatever
* It will be easier to get Anne's okay next year, there are just too many cash knowns and unknowns since we're getting married this year.
* Anne has ZERO tests next year = more time to enjoy the boat with her and our friends (she hates staying home on the weekends to study when I go to the lake with friends.
* Most likely wont have a dog anymore, my poor mastiff has a terrible knee and weakens by the day. It will break my heart to put him down but I don't like leaving him for the weekends. Bringing him on a 2.5hr car ride to the lake is challenging and uncomfortable. Hopefully, Roy will still be around but you never know.
* More money to buy things for the house to keep Anne happy while I make my purchase

So it just makes sense to wait out one more season. I'll still have 3 solid seasons before the stork starts flying.

Thanks again everyone for all of the suggestions, feedback, and input. We will definitely be a boating family!