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Go Back   WakeWorld > >> Wakeboarding Discussion Archives > Archive through April 17, 2008

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Old     (dkmode34)      Join Date: Mar 2004       03-15-2008, 11:40 PM Reply   
Ok so i was trying to see if they had anounced winners to the contest and found that this! I really am disappointed at some of the jokes that won.
10.When Randall Harris is done wakeboarding, he doesn't drop the handle. He pulls the boat to a stop. (Jeff Frew)
9.The discrepency between magnetic north and true north is caused by Randall spinning off axis. This is known as magnetic declination or, simply, The Vandall Effect. (David Wertz)
8.Randall did not appear in Gravity Sucks because he's not affected by gravity. (John Gresko)
7.Chuck Norris wears Randall Harris pajamas. (John Haile)
6In August of 2005 Randall Harris went wakeboarding in the Gulf of Mexico for the first time. Few expected the levees to break in New Orleans. (Alan Plotz)
5.Randall Harris dosent pop off the wake. He pushes the earth down beneath him. (Mike Sullivan)
4.Randall Harris doesn't wear a life vest. That's a lead vest to make sure he does eventually come down. (Austin Bangerter)
3.Randall Harris works for Google Earth in his spare time. He takes the pictures. (Jake Bendler)
2.Randall Harris didn't take a two-year "break" from wakeboarding. Wakeboarding requested a two-year stress-related leave of absence from Randall Harris. (Derek McDonald)
1.Randall Harris doesn't need to wet down sliders. They see him coming and wet themselves. (Stewart Albert)

I dont know I feel like a couple of those were kinda Gay! I liked (1,2,3,9)

(Message edited by dkmode34 on March 15, 2008)
Old     (sidekicknicholas)      Join Date: Mar 2007       03-16-2008, 12:06 AM Reply   
6 is my fav.
Old     (fontain06)      Join Date: Aug 2007       03-16-2008, 5:13 AM Reply   
my room mate posted number one

(Message edited by fontain06 on March 16, 2008)
Old     (wakedoctor)      Join Date: Dec 2004       03-16-2008, 7:10 AM Reply   
I thought the jokes have to be orginal and not taken from the Chuck Norris jokes. If that is so I am pretty sure #7 needs to be taken off the list in all fairness.
Old     (chpthril)      Join Date: Oct 2007       03-16-2008, 7:26 AM Reply   
I think #6 is a little distasteful $.02
Old     (srh00z)      Join Date: Jun 2003       03-16-2008, 7:31 AM Reply   
I thought it was a good contest and I am sure that there were several jewels that we will never see. I had fun coming up with mine, but I based one of them off of existing Chuck Norris jokes. Some of the Chuck Norris jokes made me laugh out loud, I can't say that any of the winners did that. Number 10 is great, but it had already been posted. These are mine:

Randall Harris once landed so far out in the flats that every observer in the boat immediately blew out their ACL's.

Randall Harris once tweaked a method so hard that his board broke the speed of sound and went back in time and caused the decline of the entire waterskiing establishment, he then proceeded to land the trick and change the definition of the word style forever. (This one if more true than funny)
Old     (wakeworld)      Join Date: Jan 1997       03-16-2008, 8:55 AM Reply   
Yes, there were a ton of them that could have made the top ten, but I had to do my best to narrow them down. Nobody ever said they couldn't be based on the Chuck Norris ones. However, they had to be applicable to Randall and wakeboarding, so there were a lot that were thrown out immediately. I'm sure that someone else probably would have chosen a very different top ten, but that's the breaks.

Stephen, your ACL one just barely missed the cut. It was probably 11 or 12. Sorry.
Old     (blind)      Join Date: Jun 2006       03-16-2008, 9:03 AM Reply   
Stephen, your ACL one made me lol! that should have been the winner. followed by pulling the boat to a stop,a very close second.
Old     (sinkoumn)      Join Date: Jan 2007       03-16-2008, 9:05 AM Reply   
I liked the original one where someone wrote how Rusty wears Randall Pjs, I still laugh thinking about that one
Old     (dkmode34)      Join Date: Mar 2004       03-16-2008, 9:48 AM Reply   
I dont know. I bet if you asked, I bet the "pulling the boat to a stop joke" was submitted about 100 times.
Old     (waterdork88)      Join Date: Aug 2005       03-16-2008, 9:51 AM Reply   
#7 was my joke. i threw in plenty of originals as well, but i guess david like it. cant wait to get my t-shirt :-)

personally i think #1 deserved to be the winner. i still havent heard a joke better than that one yet

and i would have to disagree on #6 being distateful, but thats just my 2 cents
Old     (johnny_defacto)      Join Date: Sep 2006       03-16-2008, 10:06 AM Reply   
stephen, your acl joke made me laugh. should have been in the top ten.

stewarts #1 joke rocks.
Old     (nick_in_ssp)      Join Date: Aug 2006       03-16-2008, 10:15 AM Reply   
2 and 3 are pretty good but 1 is really funny.
Old     (dnp33)      Join Date: Jan 2007       03-16-2008, 10:29 AM Reply   
what was the ACL joke?
Old     (srh00z)      Join Date: Jun 2003       03-16-2008, 12:04 PM Reply   
Everybody should post up their best, I know there are other great ones out there.
Old     (dkmode34)      Join Date: Mar 2004       03-16-2008, 12:35 PM Reply   
Screw Red Bull, Randall drinks Froggy’s tears before he rides.


The Vandall doesn’t need a rope, he has yet to find a boat that doesn’t run from him in fear of being caught.

Tom has to send Randall a friend request
Old     (proflex857)      Join Date: Apr 2007       03-16-2008, 3:47 PM Reply   
Forget "An Inconvenient Truth". Randall peeing to heat up his suit is the real cause of global warming.

OK, not that great, but at least better than number 10...
Old     (bbking)      Join Date: Dec 2006       03-16-2008, 5:18 PM Reply   
Wes Graves... i liked your myspace joke! #1 was the best... I actually lol'd... #6 I did not find distasteful... I thought it was good... Which is probably rude of me
Old     (hawk7)      Join Date: Apr 2007       03-16-2008, 7:05 PM Reply   
9 is my favorite but 1 is good. I like the randall drinks froggy's tears one.

heres mine:
It is a proven fact that Randall Harris stores Kenetic energy during each set, so much that if he were to fall, the kenetic energy would cause certain atoms in H2O to collapse creating a liquid substance that cures cancer. Too bad he never falls. Ever.

Ever.

On, his birthday, Randall Harris carefully selects one lucky pro tour judge to be thrown into the sun.

Randall Harris invented black, infact, he invented the entire spectrum of visable light. except pink. Kieth lidberg invented pink.
Old     (tinytdubb)      Join Date: Jul 2007       03-16-2008, 7:13 PM Reply   
The show "Mythbusters" was going to have an entire episode dedicated to these Randall Harris myths.....then they watched "Transgression" and realized there is no myth to bust.
Old     (waterdork88)      Join Date: Aug 2005       03-17-2008, 10:27 AM Reply   
randall harris wears randall harris pjs

randall eats amoebas for breakfast

randall can hit the wake ts and hs at the same time

randall landed every kind of 1080 before parks landed his first. everytime they filmed randall's 10, the camera exploded from shear amazement

many people ask "why did randall leave for 2 years". the answer is simply because, the randall does whatever the f... he wants

randall can spin so fast that he goes up even higher. like a helicopter

randall can to a legit frantrum with a tindy grab. and everyone will think its cool

randall harris can wakeboard without a boat, a handle, water, or even a wakeboard

randall harris can do tumbleturns without getting wet

asia never got hit by a tsunami. it was randall throwing a big slash

everyone uses the "no gravity code" in video games. randall harris is the only person that knows the "no gravity code" in real life

when randall harris wakeboards, he doesnt get pulled by the boat. randall harris pulls the boat.

when randall harris grabs the board, he doesnt reach down nor does he bring his legs up. he commands his board to come up into his hand.

randall harris doesnt fall. and his video sections prove this

randall harris doesnt have a boat driver, he tells the boat where to go

when randall does a butterslide. he flattens the wake so that it no longer exists behind him.

randall harris named lake superior when he pissed excellence into it. after that, the other great lakes didnt feel so great.

hurricanes and tornados are formed, when randall harris spins.
Old     (curtbernstein)      Join Date: Aug 2004       03-27-2008, 10:14 AM Reply   
#1 is well deserved, by far the funniest one I have heard.. Good choice David!

"Randall Harris doesn't need to wet down sliders. They see him coming and wet themselves"

hahahahahahahaha
Old     (liquidmx)      Join Date: Jun 2005       03-27-2008, 11:35 AM Reply   
Stephan, that ACL line is priceless.
Old     (joshugan)      Join Date: Apr 2005       03-27-2008, 12:50 PM Reply   
Another vote for Stephen's being by far the funniest!
Old     (srh00z)      Join Date: Jun 2003       03-27-2008, 1:06 PM Reply   
The more I think about it, the number 1 joke is pretty good, I don't know if it is the best or not. I still think number 10 is strong just for the shear fact that it kind of started the whole thing up.
Old     (idrumyay)      Join Date: Jan 2008       03-27-2008, 3:12 PM Reply   
Randall Harris doesn't use a wakeboard rope, he uses a lasso.

Randall Harris was the first person to do a handle pass-based trick. When the doctors cut the umbilical cord, he reached out and grabbed it with his switch hand.
Old     (wakeworld)      Join Date: Jan 1997       03-27-2008, 4:02 PM Reply   
Travis, your second one was close as well. I was hoping somebody would develop that one a little better with some kind of reference to Randall being wrapped in his umbilical cord for nine months and unwrapping upon birth. There's a good Randall Harris fact in there somewhere! :-)
Old     (tparider)      Join Date: Aug 2003       03-28-2008, 2:24 PM Reply   
My favs from above:

Randall Harris once landed so far out in the flats that every observer in the boat immediately blew out their ACL's.

Randall can do a legit frantrum with a tindy grab and everyone will think it's cool.

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