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Old     (brettw)      Join Date: Jul 2007       01-30-2010, 4:13 PM Reply   
Got this one today.

A Muslim dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates. He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Mohamed. Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard.
'Are you Mohamed?' he asks.
'No, my son. I am Peter. Mohamed is higher up. And he points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.
Delighted that Mohamed should be higher than Peter, he climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs through the clouds coming to a room where he meets another bearded man.
He asks again, 'Are you Mohamed?
'No, I am Moses. Mohamed is higher still. Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy, he continues to climb the ladder and, yet again, he discovers an even larger room where he meets another man with a beard.
Full of hope, he asks again, 'Are you Mohamed?
'No, I am Jesus. You will find Mohamed higher up.
Mohamed higher than Jesus! The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher. Once again, he reaches a larger room where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question: 'Are you Mohamed?' he gasps, as he is, by now, totally out of breath from all his climbing.
'No, my son ... I am God. But you look exhausted. Would you like a coffee?'
'Yes, please, my Lord'
God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out: 'Hey,Mohamed, two coffees!'
Old     (pesos)      Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Texas       01-30-2010, 7:06 PM Reply   
Haha watch out this post is going to spark a riot - good thing there is no accompanying cartoon
Old     (stxr_racer)      Join Date: Jun 2006       01-30-2010, 9:28 PM Reply   
Why do birds fly upside down over Australia?.......................................B ecause there's nothing worth crappin on!

Old    bigdtx            01-31-2010, 2:16 PM Reply   
A woman is shopping at a grocery store.
She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line.
"You must be single." the clerk says.
Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says,
"Yes I am. How could you tell?".
"Because you're ugly".
Old     (pesos)      Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Texas       01-31-2010, 2:18 PM Reply   
Old    bigdtx            01-31-2010, 2:18 PM Reply   
Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A: Right where you left him
Before anyone gets mad, just know that in college we actually adopted a dog with no legs. We didn't realize when we went to adopt that the dog had no legs cause it just looked like he was laying down. We fell in love with him, took him home, took care of him, he was an amazing friend and a great dog. We actually named him cigarette and everyday would take him out for a drag.
Old    bigdtx            01-31-2010, 2:21 PM Reply   
I used to tell a joke about Jonestown, but the punchline was too long.

Q: What has 9 arms and sucks?
A: Def Leppard

So a serial killer is taking a little kid into the woods The little kids says " Mister, I'm scared of the dark" The serial killer replies "How do you think I feel! I have to walk back to the car by myself!"
Old     (wombat2wombat)      Join Date: Sep 2018       03-14-2019, 8:12 AM Reply   
Dad to Son: Did I ever tell you about the time your older brother lost his virginity?

Son: Dad, please stop

Dad: That's what he said too!


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