Should I Just Quit?

First off be forewarned there's a few negative subjects in this.
It's weird three years ago I started wakeboarding and it became a passion of mine, and it's still something I want to do but, everytime I go out now I end up having a terrible time and usualy end up and tears. (I'm a crybaby I know)

I guess what started it was that I got really mentaly sick, social anxiety and severe depression. Well that led me to compulsive eating and now I'm a overweight.

My family bought a wakeboard boat last summer that was pretty much bought so I could wakeboard. It ended up that the only time the boat hits the water is when my older brother takes it out with his friends. It's almost like it's his boat even though my mother paid for it.

So the only way I can really go out in the boat is with him and his friends, and if I can even bring myself to face my anxiety and go out with them I'm to body consciense to actually go out. Last summer I went with him and his friends and they actually laughed at me when I stripped down to my bathing suit, that's really the only time I've actually gone out in the water. If your a girl, the bigger you are, the more worthless you are.

I don't know I just can't get past this, I don't want to go with a boat full of eight strangers, it's my mothers boat not his, shouldn't I have the right to use it as well? Right now I feel like I just want to quit stop wakeboarding for good, but I still want to do it, because it was something that was fun for me, and I have very little of that in my life. Anyone have any advice on what I should do?