The problem with that is that a kayak actually is a boat, whereas a wakeboard boat is certainly not a ship.
1. An Inuit or Eskimo boat consisting of a light wooden frame covered with watertight skins except for a single or double opening in the center, and propelled by a double-bladed paddle.
2. A lightweight canoe that is similar in design.
A light, open, slender boat that has pointed ends and is propelled by paddles.
1. A vessel of considerable size for deep-water navigation.
2. A sailing vessel having three or more square-rigged masts.
I would agree with your post except for the beer bottle thing. I'd say to qualify as a vessel (nautical term) or craft, it would have to carry at least one person.