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Old    Dan Noonan (depswa)      Join Date: Nov 2000       05-09-2011, 11:45 AM Reply   
My mom sent this to me...lol...I think I can add a few more rules, but these are pretty damn accurate!!! My favorites are 3, 8, 21 and 23...LOL


24 Laws of Golf

LAW 1:
No matter how bad your last shot was, you should have Inner Peace knowing that a shlttier one is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.

LAW 2:
Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.

LAW 3:
Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water. Expensive clubs have been known to be partly made with this most unusual natural alloy.

LAW 4:
Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.

LAW 5
The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.

LAW 6
A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent -- or some similar combination.

LAW 7:
All 3-woods are demon-possessed. Your Mother in Law does not come close.

LAW 8:
Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water. See LAW 3.

LAW 9
The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.

LAW 10
Golf should be given up at least twice per month.

LAW 11:
All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset.

LAW 12:
Since bad shots come in groups of three, your fourth consecutive bad shot is really the beginning of the next group of three.

LAW 13:
If it isn't broke, try changing your grip.

LAW 14:
It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 8.

LAW 15:
Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

LAW 16
Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.

LAW 17
It's not a gimme if you're still 4 feet away.

LAW 18:
The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

LAW 19:
You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of the time.

LAW 20:
Every Time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make a double or triple bogey to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

LAW 21:
If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to use it to lay up just short of a water hazard.

LAW 22:
There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.

LAW 23:
A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

LAW 24:
Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
Old    Dan Noonan (depswa)      Join Date: Nov 2000       05-09-2011, 11:53 AM Reply   
How about this one.

25. If someone apologizes for talking in your backswing and offers to let you take another shot without penalty, you MUST take it, because obviously even though the talking didn't affect your shot, your shot was so bad they felt sorry for you. However, you must pretend to be mad and that the talking was really a distraction to save face and not give the perception that you actually do suck "That Bad!"
Old    John Anderson (fly135)      Join Date: Jun 2004       05-09-2011, 12:05 PM Reply   
I'll add a law that I know applies to me.

LAW 26:
The more you practice the worse you get.
Old    Ian Brown (wakereviews)      Join Date: Sep 2006       05-09-2011, 12:31 PM Reply   
I like 16 the best... so true.
Old    BLAIR BARHAM (jonblarc7)      Join Date: Jul 2006       05-09-2011, 2:21 PM Reply   
Alright

LAW 27:
Trees are 90% air only 10% of the time.

LAW 28:
Anytime a bug lands on your ball and you decide to send it for a ride it will not try out good for you. (and the bug will always fly away right before you hit the ball)
Old    Dwight Kinley (beretta5spd)      Join Date: Jan 2010       05-09-2011, 5:14 PM Reply   
#4 is awesome. i need a chainsaw
Old    Baitkiller (baitkiller)      Join Date: Jan 2010       05-09-2011, 7:14 PM Reply   
14 sums it up for me.
Old    Dwight Kinley (beretta5spd)      Join Date: Jan 2010       05-09-2011, 8:03 PM Reply   
Quote:
Originally Posted by baitkiller View Post
14 sums it up for me.
haha you and Na I guess
Old    Small Light (stephan)      Join Date: Nov 2002       05-10-2011, 10:36 AM Reply   
#9 is the one that gets me. I was 3 bogeys away from hitting a personal best 83 and I ballooned the last three holes for a 92. Awesome.

Good to see other golfers on here.
Old    Dan Noonan (depswa)      Join Date: Nov 2000       05-10-2011, 11:55 AM Reply   
9 is def a Golf Law! LOL

I once played a 9 hole executive and was 2 under through 6...then...on the last three I shot a Bogey, Quadruple Bogey, Double Bogey! I wanted to kick a puppy! The sad thing is I think that was probably still my best score there! LOL

Last edited by depswa; 05-10-2011 at 11:56 AM. Reason: typo
Old    Bryan (westsiderippa)      Join Date: Dec 2006       05-10-2011, 6:09 PM Reply   
#29 improving your lie is a god given right. this is why we were born with a foot wedge.

#30 golf is the number 1 cause of all tourettes cases

#31 yes dear, there really is 19 holes........
Old    Mark Anderson (puckinshat)      Join Date: Sep 2003       05-10-2011, 6:45 PM Reply   
#3, so true! Just got 4 dozen Pro v1x in the mail today (Titleist had a buy 3 get 1 free deal, only took 6 weeks) and sure enough, all 3 from the sleeve I brought with went in the water today, thus, my 45-37. And of course I was -1 on the back when I doubled 17...

Thanks for sharing!
Old    Chris Butler (xistential)      Join Date: Jul 2007       05-12-2011, 1:48 PM Reply   
12 is the funniest one.

I once shot a 38 on the front 9 including an eagle on the stroke 1. I was a 23 handicap at the time. Stopped at the halfway house, went out on the back 9 and shot 51. Thought I was going to vomit.

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