Perhaps you should take a course in Internet 101 before you go calling people out in public. Here' s a quick rundown on how it works. If I create a video and I want people to see it, I put it up on YouTube or Vimeo and allow other sites to link to it or embed it in hopes of it getting picked up and my video getting lots of views. In the process my name and/or company gains exposure and my website or YouTube/Vimeo page gets subscribers and the next time I post a video my popularity increases even more. I have gotten tons of thank you emails from people whose videos we've picked up and it's provided them exposure and opportunities for which they are very appreciative. They also thank me for including a link to their website in the text that goes along with the video and the resulting traffic increase they enjoy.
Now, if I create a video that I do not want shared or embedded because I either want to keep it private for my own website or I would like to sell it to a website rather than share it for free, I upload it to YouTube/Vimeo and invest 2.4 seconds to click the make private check box or specify the domain(s) on which I want to allow it to be embedded. If I want to get really crazy and only show it to a select few people, I put a password on it.
Shredtown.com is a good example of an organization that likes to only run their videos on their website. Therefore, they follow the above procedure and we are not able to embed their videos. Chad Sharpe at FunWhenWet.com is another good example. However, he occasionally does want to get some extra exposure for some of his videos and he realizes that when we embed one of his videos, it greatly increases the traffic to his website, so he will let some videos be embedded and some he keeps for himself.
Embedding/Sharing is a great way to for people who make videos to get exposure and that's why YouTube/Vimeo are setup like this. It's really a great system. I'm sorry that you're upset because somebody you know hasn't figured out how to use the tools properly, but I'd be happy to remove their video if they did not want us to run it. However, I'm not going to punish the 99% of people who do know how to use it properly because of the 1% that don't.