Articles
   
       
       
Pics/Video
   
       
       
Shop
Search
 
 
 
 
 
Home   Articles   Pics/Video   Gear   Wake 101   Events   Community   Forums   Classifieds   Contests   Shop   Search
WAKE WORLD HOME
Email Password
Go Back   WakeWorld > Boats, Accessories & Tow Vehicles

Share 
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old    Kyle Marriott (kyle_m)      Join Date: Aug 2007       07-08-2010, 10:59 AM Reply   
lon is kinda like the fat chick that tries to blend in with all the hot girls in this case all the hot girls are pretty much all of wakeworld and lon is just tagging along in the back

Name:  blending in.jpg
Views: 17742
Size:  50.1 KB
Old    Bu Coo (brett564)      Join Date: Jul 2006       07-08-2010, 1:12 PM Reply   
Looooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, wheeeerrrreeee aaaaarrrrrreeeeee yyyyyooooouuuuuu !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?
Old    Jason Buffalow (buffalow)      Join Date: Apr 2002       07-08-2010, 2:40 PM Reply   
CAGE MATCH..CAGE MATCH.. CAGE MATCh..

Old skooll style with crushed glass on the knuckles.

I got some dollars on this one. Let's start the wagering. Put up pictures of both guys and than we'll establish odds and go from there.

Heck I call PEdro and see if we can set up a cage on top of a house boat and charge $2 a head. Or Lon could sponsor the whole thing.
Old     (Lon)      Join Date: Jun 2010       07-08-2010, 4:56 PM Reply   
Im right here Bu coo ,Hey kyle by the way what was that your wife birthday party must suck to have a fat ass wife,that how your daughter is going to turn out to look tuck her in tight . PS jason im more of a catch a person off guard kind of person no witness to many tattle tales these days . Ill put my hummer up against any truck out there it's a beast like kyle wife .
Old    Ty (wakeandsnow27)      Join Date: Jun 2004       07-08-2010, 4:59 PM Reply   
there's no way this is serious.
Old    ROstap            07-08-2010, 5:00 PM Reply   
I think "Lon" is playing everyone. Based on the grammer in his typing...he doesn't sound like an overweight white guy seen in any of the pictures. Could be wrong.
Old    Kyle Marriott (kyle_m)      Join Date: Aug 2007       07-08-2010, 5:20 PM Reply   
id like to see lons hummer take on some of the stuff my fire engine will take on out in the forests, bring it on after your pos hummer proves that you can justify my nonexistent wife being a beast hahaha
Old     (Lon)      Join Date: Jun 2010       07-08-2010, 5:31 PM Reply   
Oh yeah biscuit t im pretty sure i know who you are aka new new , your mad because i impounded your wife bmw ,my girl friend enjoying it by the way. ps Ill send my bill collector buy your house in about two months have a nice night ,By the way i love salty hatters .
Old    Stephen Pliler (stevo8290)      Join Date: Sep 2008       07-08-2010, 5:37 PM Reply   
but lon.... can you ride?????? just answer that for me. Dont talk about putting a hammer through my ***** or anything like that. Just tell me one thing fat @$$. YOU SUCK AT WAKEBOARDING RIGHT???!!!!!!
Old    Kyle Marriott (kyle_m)      Join Date: Aug 2007       07-08-2010, 5:38 PM Reply   
i lon i type cave man type
Old    David (colombiansurfer)      Join Date: Sep 2008       07-08-2010, 7:09 PM Reply   
Salty hatters??? WTF Lon?
Old    Cyle Coatney (01centurion)      Join Date: Jun 2010       07-08-2010, 7:41 PM Reply   
thats how ballers takin they gots a be stunin 27/7 cuz they be makin they own lingo because they cant speak ENGLISH!! an i dont think he is white thinking he is mexican from what i seen of him at pedro so called stunin in his peg leg X80
Old     (Lon)      Join Date: Jun 2010       07-08-2010, 7:46 PM Reply   
Come talk that to my face PUSSY
Old    DanDoubleE            07-08-2010, 8:02 PM Reply   
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

this seriously made my entire year!
Old    John Anderson (pucktowake)      Join Date: May 2007       07-08-2010, 8:15 PM Reply   
Whats funny is that Lon has like 650 profile views! Every one wants to see this guy!
Old    paul. (imx)      Join Date: Jul 2009       07-08-2010, 8:20 PM Reply   
Ross Ta, quick point, it's G R A M M A R. When you guys have finished with Lon, can you get him to do a tour of Ozz, international playboy style!
Old    ROstap            07-08-2010, 9:25 PM Reply   
Quote:
Originally Posted by imx View Post
Ross Ta, quick point, it's G R A M M A R. When you guys have finished with Lon, can you get him to do a tour of Ozz, international playboy style!
Thank for correcting me!
Old    wakeridinrob            07-08-2010, 10:26 PM Reply   
The only hummer that I bought is from Lons girlfriend
Old    WakePowell Chris (epic1)      Join Date: Oct 2006       07-09-2010, 12:51 AM Reply   
lon, give us and adrees to say it to your face. damn 15 year olds.

snignin
"yeah babe cause im an e thug, all day every day,"
Lot of diesels on this board pushing 800lb/ft tq. By the way lb/ft tq means Pound feet of torque.
And diesel is a type of fuel that people with out litttle tinny pinky finger pensis' use to pull x80's.
PS
your dads x80 and hummer "truck" are gheyer than anal pro lapse. Ps
anal prolapse is what you will be dealing with in a few years. fruity.
Old    Samuel Sosa (unclesam)      Join Date: Nov 2005       07-09-2010, 1:05 AM Reply   
Quote:
Originally Posted by epic1 View Post
lon, give us and adrees to say it to your face. damn 15 year olds.


what is "an address"... alex
Old    Chase (chasenm)      Join Date: Jul 2009       07-09-2010, 5:14 AM Reply   
Lon, your Hummer thing is not a truck so please don't insult the REAL truck owners out there. I would love to see you put that POS up against any of the trucks on here. You are such a Douchebag tool it's hilarious.
Old    Chattwake (chattwake)      Join Date: Jan 2010       07-09-2010, 6:34 AM Reply   
...
Attached Images
 
Old    Erik (etakk7)      Join Date: Apr 2006       07-09-2010, 6:40 AM Reply   
...
Attached Images
 
Old    Mike (mike3500)      Join Date: Jun 2008       07-09-2010, 8:28 AM Reply   
Name:  roadhouse_swayze.jpg
Views: 5384
Size:  12.4 KB
Old    Nu Bu (05mobiuslsv)      Join Date: Apr 2006       07-09-2010, 8:30 AM Reply   
So since Lon impounded someones vehicle does this mean he's a Ballin Tow Truck Guy?

Lon your SUT doesn't hold a candle to a real truck, let's hook bumpers together I'll tow you all over town as well as any other deisel truck on the market would.
Old    Paul (psudy)      Join Date: Dec 2003       07-09-2010, 8:42 AM Reply   
Hummers are so ten years ago.
Old    ScottRobinson            07-09-2010, 9:50 AM Reply   
You know, I can't bag on the boat or the Hummer itself. Both in my opinion are nice things to have. I know Hummer's are a bit odd, but I still like them. Don't have one but still like them. As far as the X-80 it is a sharp looking boat. So can't bag on the boat itself (except the toilet, geez that is gay).

My issue is just Lon himself. I think alot of us don't really mind the truck or the boat. It is the fact that this douche seems to think he is better than anyone, want to fight like a 8th grade kid and spouts at the mouth some really stupid stuff that we have a problem with. Honestly, I have bagged on him in earlier posts, but now one of two things.

1. He is truely a waste of flesh and one of God's poorer creations. Although people can change and life deals cards that you can't imagine, I don't think anything in his life will ever change him. Once a douche always a douche when it comes to this extreme.
or
2. He is really about 21 never had a real job, and have daddy's money behind him. He most likely is a trash man (again nothing wrong with it) but not really a baller at all. Most of the time the guys that talk the big game have no game. Those of us that just do well for ourselves don't need to spout.

Lon, I wish I was a creative as CHATT was...but hopefully you read this.... Please just listen to yourself man. Look at what you are saying. Look at how this is coming accross to all of us and what you are taking in return. So you can beat someone up, does it really solve anything. There is always someone out there that can kick your ass. So you say you have lots of money....again saying it on here why? Always someone with more. I am not a bible thumper or even someone that goes to church alot, but I would ask you to take a second and look at yourself inside and what you really think. Are you really this shallow, or do you have something to offer society.

I really hope you don't have kids and are brain washing them with your actions. That would be the greatest tradgedy of all. I know you (along with all of us) can take a second and look a bit deeper at what you are doing all this for.

Sorry starting to just feel sorry for this poor bastard. I really hope this is a joke cuz you are really sad Lon. Really sad...!
Old    ScottRobinson            07-09-2010, 9:52 AM Reply   
ok...my rant over.... and yes this is really funny thread...just had a soft moment...LMFAO....
Old    Chase (chasenm)      Join Date: Jul 2009       07-09-2010, 10:18 AM Reply   
Amen Scott. Either Lon is a really huge Douche or he is some 7th grade kid talking smack.
Old    Robert Mitchell (2006maliblue)      Join Date: Mar 2009       07-09-2010, 11:46 AM Reply   
I don't think LON exists. I think its somebody on here just screwing with everybody! I sent him my address, he never showed up, sent him my phone number he never called. Not even restricted. I think this is a fellow Wakeworlder just playing. I find it hard to believe any buddy could be as dumb as "LON" Its still a funny thread and I get a kick out it but I think somebody has been playing everybody on here! Poor LON, if thats even his real name is going to get cold cocked for some comments that somebody else is making online. So moment of truth who is the imposter LON? It'd be the greatest Wakeworld prank of all time!
Old    puckhead (jcollinge)      Join Date: Apr 2004       07-09-2010, 12:07 PM Reply   
Lon, please check this link out before you post again...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkO87mkgcNo

He must have missed this when he was a kid...
Old    mojo            07-09-2010, 12:16 PM Reply   
im not telling anyone to do anything, but the world would be better off if Lon wasn't sucking in any air anymore. and Lon, do you know how many people just in cali that have cars worth more than your boat, car, and house combined? while money makes things easier, one can be just as happy working a 9-5. you will never understand this because you had horrible parents and im sure they are ashamed of how their son turned out. and if you really did ball you'd have a mastercraft 300, not a suckers boat.
Old    Paul (psudy)      Join Date: Dec 2003       07-09-2010, 12:56 PM Reply   
I was out last october cruising around the lake when all of a sudden a turtle head started peaking out. The shore was steep and rocky, and I would never let one go in the water. It was then that I looked across from me and remembered, there was a nice little toilet down there. So I quickly jump down there and unleashed hangover furry. As I am admiring the nice little cubby, I can hear people on the boat gaging and ranting about. I was laughing histerically. We go about our day, and end up dropping people off at the cabin in the early evening. Me and one other buddy decide to head to the bar. We get there, have a good time, and time slips away from us. Next thing we know its 130 so we start heading home. Now, remember this is October. We get around a couple of bends and hit a huge fog bank. I idol around for hours and finally give up when we found a nicely lit dock. we tie up pull the cover over the boat and try and sleep. Waking up at the crack of dawn excited that we can finally get back to the cabin and get some decent sleep before we have to make the long drive home. We yank back the cover only to discover, its still really foggy and we have absolutly no idea where we are. So there we sit. Around 9am we see a bass boat stop a few hundred yards in front, so we pull out to him and ask where in the hell we were. Come to find out I had gotten us pretty close to the marina(its a 20mile trip from the bar to the Marina). We call the others and its decided they will just meet us there so we can clean the boat and get on the road home. We get done cleaning and all I can think about is sleeping in the back of the truck on the way back, when someone says, "don't forget about the ****ter!" I am thinking, ohh crap. After threats and bribes fail, I finally jump in there and take the tank out very carefully. I have to walk up to the RV dump to drain it. All that is there is a little pipe sticking out of the ground. At this point the sheer thought of it is making me gag uncontrollably. I open it up start dumping and the gags turn to straight vomit. You can't pour and vomit at the same time, so this it taking forever. My buddies are all standing around laughing like crazy. I finally got it empty though.

Moral of the story, think twice about ever using an onboard crapper.
Old    ScottRobinson            07-09-2010, 1:21 PM Reply   
HAHAHAHAHA

Great story PSU
Old    Tony Medaglia (h2ohangtime)      Join Date: Aug 2002       07-09-2010, 1:27 PM Reply   
Makes me think about the time my buddy's dad tried to "snake" the houseboat head with compressed air. The air pooled up in the bottom and then POW, liquid fecal matter all over EVERYTHING, including his dad. Nasty!

I figured Lon's X80 would have a pump-out option, but I guess he was too cheap to buy it.
Old    Flux (flux)      Join Date: Jun 2003       07-09-2010, 3:11 PM Reply   
Last week I dropped the 210 in the lake and got ready to go. In my haste...........................you guessed it, no plug. A couple hundred yards out and I hear the alt squeeking and had a coronary. Turned on the bilge, jumped in the drink and screwed that baby in. Now the Sante ain't no ballin X-80 and I didn't sink it and I still have a couple payments left on my F250 diesel, but does this qualify me as an ass beater?? Or do I need to start working out in an MMA gym and wearing those shirts?? Can I be stunting if it's just me, the wife, the kids, and the dog? Can I be ballin if we did not ride?? How about if I fished off the boat??

I know you haters gon hate me for not putting in the plug, but how many of you purpoise down the lake while you are literally sinking?? Not to mention I wuz sinkin it with the kids in there!! Sorry, I am just confused about boat payments, ballin and stuntin, and sinkin boats yet riding another day. If anyone wants to fight me, you'll probably win unless you say something bad about my dog. Just don't mess with my dog, I mean it.
Old    Jay Conrad (pwningjr)      Join Date: Apr 2007       07-09-2010, 3:18 PM Reply   
^^Dude, it's not that you forgot the plug, I'm pretty sure everyone has at one point or another (I'm still waiting for my turn... :-\ ). It's just how Lon (I'm about 95% sure he's a troll made up by somebody, but that doesn't make this thread any less funny) acts "all that" and is none of "that". Yes, if you go to one of those gyms, wear Affliction shirts, act really tough, call people losers because they can't afford the boat / tow vehicle you have all the while secretly paying off loans with insanely high interest rates because you actually can't afford it, you too can be "Lon".

Well, that and his grammar stinks. But, whatever. :-)

Last edited by pwningjr; 07-09-2010 at 3:20 PM. Reason: Apparently my grammar stinks, too. Missed a couple punctuation marks. Proofreading is fun!
Old    Flux (flux)      Join Date: Jun 2003       07-09-2010, 3:39 PM Reply   
Jay, I am pretty sure it's someone messing around (me too), but we know that the persona is based on actual. I have had many many a sighting on Socal lakes. Yet another reason I have not been to a socal lake in 18 months and the river in over a year.

I hope you never forget the plug. I now turn on the bilge as soon as I hit the water and leave it on (they cycle anyway). Serves as a good early warning system for leaky ballasts and massive brainfarts.
Old    Joe Sellhausen (joesell)      Join Date: Apr 2001       07-09-2010, 3:59 PM Reply   
I actualy thought Lon was one of those "girls" from Nigeria that have been on here. I mean, the grammer and punctuation are the same.
Old    Bruce Mac (brucemac)      Join Date: Dec 2005       07-09-2010, 4:58 PM Reply   
omg chattwake, i just spit beer all over my counter...buwahhaahaaaa

classic
Old    WakePowell Chris (epic1)      Join Date: Oct 2006       07-09-2010, 5:29 PM Reply   
what could LON stand for? Maybe this is umali effing with us? Loud Obnoxious nonsence? Loser out networking?
Old    CIREboardshorts.com (nuckledragger)      Join Date: Jun 2004       07-09-2010, 6:45 PM Reply   
Why did it take me this long to find this thread? I saw the initial "sinking" photos when they were posted but I didn't think it carried on like this. My kids think I am crazy laughing outloud at my computer as I read through this thread. Thread of the decade....along with Level 10 gymnast.
Old    WakePowell Chris (epic1)      Join Date: Oct 2006       07-09-2010, 8:29 PM Reply   
ohhhhh level 10, those were good days.....
Old    D C (dirwoody)      Join Date: Apr 2003       07-10-2010, 12:38 PM Reply   
Dear Dave,
Could you please make a special "Hall of Fame" board?
Entries would include, LON, level 10 Gymnist, Ryan's X star....
Old    Joe Sellhausen (joesell)      Join Date: Apr 2001       07-10-2010, 1:29 PM Reply   
Tige tramp stamp
Old    Adam Ramirez (A_Ramirez)      Join Date: Jul 2010       07-10-2010, 2:06 PM Reply   
Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Adam Ramirez and I have watched this thread for a few weeks now and thought I would chime in as this is getting a little crazy. My name is Adam first off and not Lon and I own the X80 that sunk. I did not leave the drain plug out nor did I hit something or overload the boat. The water inlet hose broke and overwhelmed my bilge pump as I tried making it to shore. Not nearly as exciting as some of the stories I've heard on here but thats what happened. As for me towing with the H2, I do have a H2 and it tows fine. Yes its not a big Diesel but it suits my needs and the needs of my family. I figured I better post after seeing the hysteria surrounding this posts before someone tried fighting me at the lake for the comments somebody else posted. Believe me I would hold my own or at least try too but thats not what I go to the lake for. I go to enjoy spending time with friends and family. Many of you are correct I'm not a wakeboarder nor do I pretend to be, and yes my boat does have a toilet but as the father of two young ones it comes in very handy. To each their own and "Lon" keep having fun, I must admit as upsetting as it has been dealing with the insurance and getting my boat back on top of the water your comments along with everyone else's have given me something to laugh about! Adam
Old    Kyle Marriott (kyle_m)      Join Date: Aug 2007       07-10-2010, 2:12 PM Reply   
glad your back on the water adam, enjoy it, its what everybody heads out there for and a family that boats together definitely stays together

as for lon, your still a douche
Old    Johnny (guma)      Join Date: Sep 2009       07-10-2010, 2:35 PM Reply   
WW just got Punk'd by Lon..LOL!!!

Adam, good to hear everyone is safe and you got her back on the water.
Old    D C (dirwoody)      Join Date: Apr 2003       07-10-2010, 2:59 PM Reply   
Touche
And - still hillarious!
Old    Bobby (mastercraf)      Join Date: Jul 2009       07-10-2010, 3:15 PM Reply   
And the thread dies. Maybe Lon will claim the next sunk boat as well, so we can all talk trash again! Good luck Adam, glad to see your back up and running!
Old    mojo            07-10-2010, 3:21 PM Reply   
could we get some pics of your stereo setup? i'd like to see your amps and whatever else you've got in there.
Old    Kat Laird (wakekat15)      Join Date: Jul 2005       07-10-2010, 3:37 PM Reply   
Adam...I'm glad to hear that no one was hurt & that you are back out enjoying the water. As for anyone that would pretend to be you (aka Lon)....what a Total Loser and may Bad Karma follow him forever!
Old    882001 (882001)      Join Date: Nov 2003       07-10-2010, 3:53 PM Reply   
haha awesome
Old    Michael Van Hove (mvanhove)      Join Date: Nov 2009       07-10-2010, 4:14 PM Reply   
So it musta been some Wakeworlder faking as Lon.
Anyone wanna come clean with themselves and tell us who it is?
Old    David Miller (otown_dave)      Join Date: Dec 2007       07-10-2010, 4:57 PM Reply   
Chatt, That's priceless! & now a good thing comes to a end. Be careful out there Adam.
Old    Rich (dohboy)      Join Date: Aug 2007       07-10-2010, 5:53 PM Reply   
Adam you're a thread killer! Probably a good idea as someone at some point will see you at the lake and not hide in the bushes to snap a pick. We saw you driving in on 120 on our way Sunday morning back towards Oakdale and was actually amazed the boat was already back in action. That sucks how you sank as it can happen to any one of us glad you were close to shore. So know we have to have Lon identify himself so we can all have a good laugh. By the way my wife likes the toilet thing as apposed to the S.S. reliefs out on the lake. It is a shame to end all the humor on this thread.
Old    Mike (BCPMike0663)      Join Date: Apr 2010       07-10-2010, 7:30 PM Reply   
I bet you Lon had the Wakecraft that sunk at tulloch!
Old    Chase (chasenm)      Join Date: Jul 2009       07-10-2010, 8:04 PM Reply   
Adam, glad everyone was ok, but I am very sad this thread has to come to an end!
Old    ROstap            07-10-2010, 8:32 PM Reply   
Nice job Adam.... Glad your up and running.
Old    Adam Ramirez (A_Ramirez)      Join Date: Jul 2010       07-10-2010, 8:51 PM Reply   
Man you guys are Gullible! Make a fake page in two seconds and post up that my name is Adam and its my boat and you all fell for it!

lol

I hope LON is the real dude but just wanted to show how easy it would be to fake everybody out! lol

The thread lives if the real owner or even "LON" shows back up!

But just some food for thought we could all be harping on the wrong person? Remember this before you try attacking some poor boater out at the launch ramp!
Old    David Miller (otown_dave)      Join Date: Dec 2007       07-10-2010, 8:55 PM Reply   
Well On that note, Screw you to!!!
Old    Tony Medaglia (h2ohangtime)      Join Date: Aug 2002       07-10-2010, 9:05 PM Reply   
This double agent stuff is messing with everyone's head, but I say let the thread keep going as long as "Lon" keeps coming back for more punishment, er entertainment. Throw another shrimp on the barbie...
Old    ROstap            07-10-2010, 10:21 PM Reply   
Ahhhh barnicles!
Old    Rich (dohboy)      Join Date: Aug 2007       07-10-2010, 11:24 PM Reply   
Its back on, cool!
Old    Rich (dohboy)      Join Date: Aug 2007       07-10-2010, 11:25 PM Reply   
I was missing it already
Old    Efrain Figueroa (beryessaboarder)      Join Date: Apr 2005       07-10-2010, 11:42 PM Reply   
wow! this gets better everyday!
Old    Kat Laird (wakekat15)      Join Date: Jul 2005       07-11-2010, 5:34 AM Reply   
Adam - you aren't right! Yep, fell for it hook, line & "stinker"! ;-D
Old    Nick Schrein (wakeboardern1)      Join Date: Aug 2007       07-11-2010, 6:21 PM Reply   
Lon, come back! I MISS YOU!
Old    Phatboypimp (phatboypimp)      Join Date: Apr 2005       07-12-2010, 9:29 AM Reply   
This thread has 29,000+ views lol
Old    WakeMikey (wakemikey)      Join Date: Mar 2008       07-12-2010, 4:01 PM Reply   
Omg thank you for making the last hour of work go away best thread ever
Old    Bryan (westsiderippa)      Join Date: Dec 2006       07-14-2010, 10:21 PM Reply   
what, were just gonna let it die, f that bump it to the top, im gonna go sink an x80 and wipe my lon and when i get back i want more trash talk... lol!!!!
Old    Matt Anderson (xaggie)      Join Date: Nov 2002       07-15-2010, 6:09 AM Reply   
Quote:
Originally Posted by wakemikey View Post
Omg thank you for making the last hour of work go away best thread ever
X2
Old    Joe C Sellers (joecs)      Join Date: Oct 2008       07-15-2010, 8:36 AM Reply   
Is Adam for real? Isn't it more likely for someone like "Lon" to exist? Straight Ballin' Fo Sho!

I'm so depressed..........

Would someone PLEASE: sink a boat, name a boat, or sell a wakecraft!!!!
Old    Joe C Sellers (joecs)      Join Date: Oct 2008       07-15-2010, 8:38 AM Reply   
Actually, I don't want anyone to sink their boat. My apologies........
Old    Mattgettel (mattgettel)      Join Date: Jan 2009       07-15-2010, 1:25 PM Reply   
i still believe in lon.
Old    Jay Conrad (pwningjr)      Join Date: Apr 2007       07-15-2010, 1:26 PM Reply   
Can we start a Church of the Lon?
Old    Chattwake (chattwake)      Join Date: Jan 2010       07-15-2010, 2:10 PM Reply   
Apparently, you guys were unaware of the church of Sci-LON-tology.

- The worship of all douchbagginess in the universe. You start as a level one douchbag when you enter the church. Over time, you learn about how the world was once invaded by a race of cool Fonzie like beings who actually hung with hot chicks, did fun stuff, and didn't sink their boats. The Fonzie creatures emminated a substance called Fonzieclorians, which invade all beings at birth and give all humans the potential to be cool and have fun. As you level up in Sci-LON-tology, you learn how to rid yourself of these Fonziclorians and raise your douchbaginess percentage. By the time you reach level 5, you've been issued at least one gold chain and two Affliction shirts, and your uncle has touched your wiener.

As you progress and watch your requisite episodes of RAW, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Jersey Shore, and My Super Sweet 16, drink your Zima, your mind and body begin to succumb to the ultra high levels of douchbag radiation to which it is subjected. By the time you reach level 10, you've been issued 4 affliction shirts, an Ed Hardy trucker hat, and a 10" TAP OUT sticker for the back of your low rider OG tribal paint civic. You start to believe, I mean really believe, your're a hard core cash money bling bling balla' douche.

Your ultimate goal is to reach level 40, at which time you have become full douch. The church of Sci-LON-tology issues you , as a reward, a black H2 SUV with sweet rims and a white X-80. By the time you reach level 40, you wear lip gloss, you have an entire wardrobe of Affliction shirts and Ed Hardy hats. You have a tanning bed in your garage and are rountinely seen working out in the gym while drinking a protein shake from a 1 gallon gas can. There is absolutely no way you are going to pick up anything but crack whores, a redneck midget prostitute named Carl, or hopelessly obese divorcees. Unfortunately, none of these people know how to put a drain plug in, and your hands are too slippery from hair gel to hold one. However, something like a drain plug isn't going to stop an level 40 douchfag from throwing down cash money hard core platinum stylin on a Saturday. That's right Brah', that's right.

Hence, the X-80 trailers are starting to pile up at the Sci-LON-tology headquarters. The memorials to all of the level 40 douches who drowned while sinking their plugless X-80 cover the wall. Photos of the last moments of the highest level douches capture the essence of what it is to be a Sci-LON-tologist. Each one of them staring blankely into space, lips pursed and glistening in the sun. You can almost hear the club music playing in their heads. Each with their fists raised high, mid pump, 'cause when people were yelling "your boat's sinking!!! turn on the pump", they thought it was time to party.

.
Old    Chase (chasenm)      Join Date: Jul 2009       07-15-2010, 2:17 PM Reply   
Hahahaha chattwake does it again!
Old    Charlie Koch (cwkoch)      Join Date: Aug 2006       07-15-2010, 2:19 PM Reply   
Lmao !!!!
Old    Joe C Sellers (joecs)      Join Date: Oct 2008       07-15-2010, 2:49 PM Reply   
The darkness that surrounded me has been lifted! Thanks Mr. Chattwake!

Reply
Share 

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 7:03 PM.

Home   Articles   Pics/Video   Gear   Wake 101   Events   Community   Forums   Classifieds   Contests   Shop   Search
Wake World Home

 

© 2012 eWake, Inc.    
Advertise    |    Contact    |    Terms of Use    |    Privacy Policy    |    Report Abuse    |    Conduct    |    About Us