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Old     (bendow)      Join Date: Sep 2005       09-21-2010, 7:32 AM Reply   
Just looking for advice or opinions on an issue with my GF that I'm completely perplexed about. I'll try to keep it brief. I came home from work last week and I noticed there was a females ring sitting on my banister. I assumed it was my girlfriends ring as no other girl has been to my place in months. Well when my GF got there I grabbed the ring and said hey you left your ring here. She said it's not her ring...and that's when all hell broke loose. Now she's asking me where this ring came from and I don't have the slightest clue. I don't know what to tell her other than I don't know. She's certain that I had another girl over, which couldn't be any further from the truth. I've never cheated on any girlfriend, and I definitely wouldn't cheat on this one as I love and care about her more than the others. I've entertained a few ideas; maybe my last ex somehow got in and is trying to sabotage my relationship, but I don't see how that's possible because she doesn't have a key to my place and I've haven't heard from her in a long time. I've also considered the possibility of my current girlfriend planting it there as a reason to get out of the relationship, but I don't think that's likely because she's hasn't left me over the issue. So now my girlfriend is asking me over and over where this damn ring came from. I keep on telling her over and over I don't know, because I don't...I don't know what else I can do...
Old     (sidekicknicholas)      Join Date: Mar 2007       09-21-2010, 7:35 AM Reply   
Do you have a sister/girl cousin/best friend (no threat to your girlfriend) buddy..... call them, tell them the problem, ask them to drop by and say "Hey, I left my ring here last week when I popped in..." problem solved.
Old     (behindtheboat)      Join Date: Aug 2006       09-21-2010, 7:42 AM Reply   
Was it found in the room? I would just assume it was a guests'.
Old     (jarrod)      Join Date: May 2003       09-21-2010, 7:43 AM Reply   
Maybe SHE had another girl over.
Old     (ntidsl)      Join Date: Sep 2010       09-21-2010, 7:47 AM Reply   
posting that on here and hoping she reads this isnt the best way to deal with it...if she's just a girlfriend and she's freaking about a ring then let her go now...you don't want to live with that the rest of your life...
Old     (bendow)      Join Date: Sep 2005       09-21-2010, 7:57 AM Reply   
Quote:
Originally Posted by ntidsl View Post
posting that on here and hoping she reads this isnt the best way to deal with it...if she's just a girlfriend and she's freaking about a ring then let her go now...you don't want to live with that the rest of your life...
yeah...I'm just hoping she'll stumble over a website called wakeworld, and then just happen to come upon the non-wake section and click on my post. I've been a member here for 5 years. I've always got good advice from this place...this topic is no different.
Old     (ntidsl)      Join Date: Sep 2010       09-21-2010, 8:01 AM Reply   
if she is freaking about a ring...she will be monitorring your computer use too buddy, sorry! good luck
Old     (sidekicknicholas)      Join Date: Mar 2007       09-21-2010, 7:45 AM Reply   
^ Scrap my idea.... go with that one, things could get awesome.
Old     (mattgettel)      Join Date: Jan 2009       09-21-2010, 8:13 AM Reply   
I have to agree that if she is freaking out about this there will be more trouble in the future. You need to tell her to chill or its over. Just my .02$.
Old     (bendow)      Join Date: Sep 2005       09-21-2010, 8:23 AM Reply   
In her defense I would probably question her if there was some guys watch that mysteriously appeared at her place.
Old     (jarrod)      Join Date: May 2003       09-21-2010, 8:33 AM Reply   
she has a good reason to freak, unless as I suggested, she is guilty of something and has no choice but to freak out on you in order to maintain her own innocence.

You need to find out where the ring came from.
Old     (diamonddad)      Join Date: Mar 2010       09-21-2010, 9:55 AM Reply   
Where was the ring found? Was it in a place where it could have gone unnoticed for a long time?

I was in a hotel room in Santa Rosa a couple of weeks ago when our dog started chomping on something she found under the desk. I pulled it from her mouth to see that it was a thai-stick of marijana with buds attached. I wondered how may guests back that was dropped and how many times the maids missed cleaning it up. Point being, things can go missing and hide for months.
Old     (guido)      Join Date: Jul 2002       09-21-2010, 10:00 AM Reply   
Sit her down, look her straight in the eye, tell her how you feel about her and that you don't know where the ring came from. Maybe try to explore the possibilities together. If she can't get past it at that point, then you're going to have a long road ahead of you with this relationship. If she doesn't trust you now, she probably never will.
Old     (PictureMeRollin)      Join Date: Apr 2010       09-21-2010, 10:09 AM Reply   
Dude, PIITB.
Old     (bcrider)      Join Date: Apr 2006       09-21-2010, 10:21 AM Reply   
If you were in the wrong, why in the he$$ would you say " hey you left your ring here" .....you wouldn't!!! You'd get rid of all evidence, you wouldn't hang yourself.

Why not have her check with her friends to see if they are missing a ring from when they were over last. Either way you need to sort this girl out.

I'm with CIE Evan otherwise.
Old     (diamonddad)      Join Date: Mar 2010       09-21-2010, 10:27 AM Reply   
As I got older, I realized that the jealousy-card was an evil play. It never pays. Never get jealous unless you need to and if you need to move on.
Old     (jarrod)      Join Date: May 2003       09-21-2010, 10:31 AM Reply   
GD, congrats on coming up on some stash.
Old     (bigdtx)      Join Date: Feb 2005       09-21-2010, 10:38 AM Reply   
My advice:

1) Check your pants for your balls.
2) If not found then check your girlfriends purse.
3) If not found check her mother's purse, they're probably in there with your future father-in-law's set.
4) If you find them, attempt a re-attach (if they still fit).
5) Find the door - use it.
6) Find the chick that belongs to that ring and re-fire your junk.
7) Finally become a MAN....
Old     (stxr_racer)      Join Date: Jun 2006       09-21-2010, 11:53 AM Reply   
Show her your post here on WW to convince her of your innocence.. If that doesn't work, you'll be able to give the ring to your new girl friend with out it costing you anything
Old     (bendow)      Join Date: Sep 2005       09-21-2010, 11:40 AM Reply   
Yeah...if I did have another girl over the last thing I would do is ask my GF if it was hers.

Anyway, here's the update:

My GF told me to ask my friends if it was their ring. So I did. There was only one girl I could think of who's it was. The girl I thought to ask has been a dear friend of mine for years. I had some friends come in town a long time ago and everyone stayed at my house...including my female friend. I called her at lunch and asked her about the ring. I described part of the ring and she described the rest. I was completely elated to find that it was her ring. I don't know how it got on the banister. I may have found it thinking it was my GF's, put it there and forgot. Or my GF could have found it and put it there wanting me to see it, but she denies this. Anyway, I told my GF who's it was. She thinks I'm collaborating on a lie with my friend. She said "what a coincidence the first person you ask ITS HERS!!!" So she doesn't believe and told me "bye and take care"...oh well...
Old     (mattgettel)      Join Date: Jan 2009       09-21-2010, 11:55 AM Reply   
yeah i hope you kept the ring at least. Sounds like you might be better off to let her go. Call up the girl that left it at your house and see what she is doing tonight?
Old     (bendow)      Join Date: Sep 2005       09-21-2010, 12:08 PM Reply   
It's like a $5 ring...lol...guess it's all I got now.

Won't be showing her this post...she'll accuse me of some other kind of elaborate lie.
Old     (mattgettel)      Join Date: Jan 2009       09-21-2010, 12:09 PM Reply   
true dat ben...true dat
Old     (guido)      Join Date: Jul 2002       09-21-2010, 12:24 PM Reply   
Flush her and move on..... Lot's of less crazy fish in the sea.

Oh, and did I mention; she'll be back.
Old     (bigdtx)      Join Date: Feb 2005       09-21-2010, 12:46 PM Reply   
LOL - refer to my previous post step 1.
Dude if you ever had a man card you need to turn it in now.
Old     (dirtrider)      Join Date: Sep 2008       09-21-2010, 1:47 PM Reply   
Walk away, and never look back.
Old     (steezyshots)      Join Date: Feb 2008       09-21-2010, 2:50 PM Reply   
ALL girls/women are crazy! And ALL Boys/men don't care. The trick in relationships is finding the girl whose craziness you can deal with and a girl who can deal with your lack of emotions. Sometimes stuff will blow up if she's worth it you deal with it and truck forward, if not there are plenty of skeezers out there to have some fun with!
Old     (hatepain)      Join Date: Aug 2006       09-21-2010, 3:38 PM Reply   
She wanted out plain and simple. I'm sure she found the ring and placed it there in hopes you'd ask about it then she could enact her bailout plan. To me it sounds like you will be better off in the long run.
Old     (ashly)      Join Date: Jul 2004       09-21-2010, 4:21 PM Reply   
I love how every time there is a post on here about a wife or girlfriend who is getting upset or who is insecure the standard response is to leave her. Must be a lot of divorced and single males around here. Yeah she lost her ****. Standard response. Most girls would. If you want to deal with it then try to talk to her, if she doesn't want to talk then give her time to cool and try again. If you want to walk then walk. Girls are b*tches and men are pigs, if you guys cant seem to balance each other out or work out then walk away and find someone who's more on your level.
Old     (hatepain)      Join Date: Aug 2006       09-21-2010, 5:16 PM Reply   
He clearly did try and talk it out with her and diligently sought out the right owner per her instructions only to have her walk. Yeah you're right we are way off...
Old     (jetskiprosx)      Join Date: Aug 2004       09-21-2010, 5:43 PM Reply   
Ashly must be one of the crazy girls who's guy just up and left and now shes pissed lol

j/k
Old     (behindtheboat)      Join Date: Aug 2006       09-22-2010, 7:30 AM Reply   
IMO, this is a test to see if you come chasing...... and it won't be the last time. Especially around young 20's, people (likely females) are always looking for that butterfly-honeymoon stage, and once it's gone search for it
Old     (mattgettel)      Join Date: Jan 2009       09-22-2010, 7:37 AM Reply   
quit this girl now. i dated plenty of crazies in my day. i would always hang on and chase them for way too long. once i found the girl i have now i realized that there are good chicks out there that aren't totally crazy. quit this **** and move on
Old     (bcrider)      Join Date: Apr 2006       09-22-2010, 9:22 AM Reply   
Riley that's what I always say as well.....All women are crazy, it's just what level of craziness your willing to deal with.lol. Oh, how I love my wife, atleast if she's being crazy I can call her out on it and she checks herself.

Benjamin- I think you should feel lucky to have gotten rid of her if that's the kind of crap she pulls. Have your friend call her if you really care. Still sounds as if your girlfriend was baiting you in to this. Your young.....go bang!
Old     (benbuchholz)      Join Date: Oct 2009       09-22-2010, 9:53 AM Reply   
Quote:
Originally Posted by bcrider View Post
Benjamin- I think you should feel lucky to have gotten rid of her if that's the kind of crap she pulls. Have your friend call her if you really care. Still sounds as if your girlfriend was baiting you in to this. Your young.....go bang!
+1.

I'd be surprised if this is the first time she's flipped out about something so small? This looks like a way out, to me. Let her go, and find someone better. Just a question, was this chick smokin hot? Cuz i've found that "hot comes with crazy, and crazy comes with hot. whether you like it or not." I think something along those lines has been said on here, by Riley if I remember right hahah
Old     (clubjoe)      Join Date: Sep 2005       09-22-2010, 10:29 AM Reply   
Holy cow, why is it so hard to figure out you cant have a reasonable communication with an unreasonable person.

If you didn't do anything wrong, and she's not buying it, unhitch your lips from her butt and move on, cuz it won't be the last time it happens.
Old     (bendow)      Join Date: Sep 2005       09-22-2010, 11:34 AM Reply   
She's attractive...she's also 8 years older than me, 34. Now she's texting me talking $4!t about an ex-gf of mine who she has never met that is entirely unrelated to the current conflict. After that I text her back and told her to leave me alone, and she replied with "I'll leave you alone, just to let you know, I'm not going out, calling other guys, or acting "single" I'm just mourning the loss of an amazing relationship"

I honestly can't figure this girl out for the life of me...so hot or cold.
Old     (stephan)      Join Date: Nov 2002       09-22-2010, 11:54 AM Reply   
Nickel says if you avoid her like the plague for a week she will be up in your business in no time. She sounds like the kind of person that revels in conflict, probably had a dad cheat on her mom or something. She's been indoctrinated to believe that you are lying, no matter what is said.

Like Riley said, we just don't care all that much. We are simple, we tell it like it is, if we get called a liar doing the right thing, then screw em, they are not worth our time. Tell her to mourn the relationship and you will mourn the fact that you dated an irrational idiot for so long.
Old     (lizzyb)      Join Date: Sep 2005       09-22-2010, 12:14 PM Reply   
Run. Seriously.

Steve - Hahaha! I love it. Great line.
Old     (ottog1979)      Join Date: Apr 2007       09-22-2010, 12:15 PM Reply   
Quote:
Holy cow, why is it so hard to figure out you cant have a reasonable communication with an unreasonable person.
No truer words spoken.

Quote:
If you didn't do anything wrong, and she's not buying it, unhitch your lips from her butt and move on, cuz it won't be the last time it happens.
No better advice given.
Old     (guido)      Join Date: Jul 2002       09-22-2010, 12:36 PM Reply   
Ben... what can I say? You've come through again with another awesome relationship thread. Best of luck to you, my friend. Keep us posted.
Old     (bendow)      Join Date: Sep 2005       09-22-2010, 7:50 PM Reply   
Quote:
Originally Posted by guido View Post
Ben... what can I say? You've come through again with another awesome relationship thread. Best of luck to you, my friend. Keep us posted.
Thanks Evan, hope that XR is running well!

So I went to my friends who's ring I thought it was and it's not hers!!! Back to square one, I have no clue where this ring came from
Old     (mattgettel)      Join Date: Jan 2009       09-22-2010, 12:48 PM Reply   
YIKES! RUN!
crazy biatch.
Old     (buffalow)      Join Date: Apr 2002       09-22-2010, 5:41 PM Reply   
This calls for a tune.....

Break me down, you got a lovely face
We're going to your place
And now you got to freak me out
Scream so loud, getting ****in' laid
You want me to stay, but I got to make my way

Hey
You're crazy bitch
But you f so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

Take it off, the paper is your game
You jump in bed with fame
Another one night paid in full, uh
You're so fine, it won't be a loss
Cashing in the rocks, just to get you face to face

Hey
You're crazy bitch
But you f so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

Baby girl
You want it all
To be a star
You'll have to go down
Take it off
No need to talk
You're crazy
But I like the way you f me


You're crazy
But I like the way you f me
Old     (phatboypimp)      Join Date: Apr 2005       09-22-2010, 7:12 PM Reply   
(not my words)

The problem is certain women’s increase in physical attractiveness has been disproportional to their increase in psychosis. Luckily for us, a chart exists where we can see just how out of balance the ratio between your hotness and craziness has become - knowledge that can prove to be invaluable over the course of your daily life. The scale is a scale is with the vertical axis labeled "HOT" and the horizontal axis labeled "CRAZY." A girl is allowed to be crazy, as long as she is equally hot. If shes crazy she has to be hot, if shes really crazy she has to be really hot.
Attached Images
 
Old     (TheSarge)      Join Date: Apr 2010       09-22-2010, 8:08 PM Reply   
Please post pics of the Ex so we can truly help you out.
Old     (fatsac)      Join Date: Jun 2004       09-23-2010, 8:06 AM Reply   
Man, this really sucks for you! Isn't it funny how we can all read this or watch a friend go through the same and think, "dude, you are wasting your time"? Trouble is, throw some good tail and a little affection in our face and it's hook, line, boom...sunk!! I've been through it more times than I remember and believe me, I must radiate crazy b-tch cologne. Once you stop playing her game, she'll be back like a bad beaver. If she's truly the crazy type, she'll be at your door at 3am, drunk as a skunk, trying to smash your living room window.
Well, maybe that last bit is just my experience.
It's true about crazy to hot proportion though. Our society allows and encourages attractive women to be developmentally lazy and apathetic. It sucks but that's life and I'm not about to settle for a troll. So the game goes on...

Good luck!
Old    SamIngram            09-23-2010, 8:41 AM Reply   
Well, if you can wait a year you can go to the gay camping trip at my local lake... You can teach them not to power turn! We are staying home that weekend...

Old     (bcrider)      Join Date: Apr 2006       09-23-2010, 9:03 AM Reply   
Benjamin- DO NOT reply to any text of hers. A) she'll keep talkin crap and keep baiting you B) It will drive her crazy, the more you act like you don't care or are going to move on and not deal with her BS the better.

Not your other friends ring? Don't tell your now ex that.
Old     (bendow)      Join Date: Sep 2005       09-23-2010, 9:47 AM Reply   
Too late. As soon as I found out it wasn't my friends ring I told her. She said something like "I didn't think I could feel anymore sick than this, but now I do" I told her I don't know what else I can say or do...I'm out.

I just hate being accused of something I didn't do. It wouldn't be so bad if I did do something wrong and I was on damage control, but nothing (to me) is more frustrating than being wrongly accused...
Old     (ttrigo)      Join Date: Dec 2004       09-23-2010, 9:48 AM Reply   
did you think that maybe she is actually sick? she could be bi-polar, and not even be aware of it. chances are, she just has some trust issues that are still fresh from a previous relationship. but dont entirely rule out that she has some mental disease as well. good luck figuring it out.
Old     (bendow)      Join Date: Sep 2005       09-23-2010, 10:18 AM Reply   
I don't think she's bi-polar...another thing happened that I didn't mention as to why she thinks I'm cheating.

I didn't mention it because it was not a mystery to me. One night before my GF and I started dating I came home with a girl and I was pretty hammered. I had condoms in the "junk drawer" in my kitchen...so I went in there and ripped one off of the strip, well the last condom on the strip got ripped open too. It was dark and I was drunk and I threw them back in the wrong drawer where some cooking utensils are. They were thrown in the very back of that drawer and I didn't realize that's where they were UNTIL my gf was cooking and found them...the day before the ring appeared. She picks them up and says the last condom on the strip is still moist (which it is, I don't think that lubrication evaporates) and thinks I'm cheating, trying to hide condoms, etc.

It was really just a string of events that made me look guilty...
Old     (hatepain)      Join Date: Aug 2006       09-23-2010, 10:35 AM Reply   
Quote:
Hey
You're crazy bitch
But you f so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on
Nice work, I had one of those for sure...
Old     (guido)      Join Date: Jul 2002       09-23-2010, 10:36 AM Reply   
Hahahahhahahhahhahahaha!

Ben, you're the man. Don't trip brotha. You're young, you've got plenty of time to get it right. Play the field. You'll know when you got the right one. I met mine young, lost her, had to chase her down, but it all works out. Just live your life.

Mike (fatsac), I know you only speak from experience. You, my friend, are a genius. See you this weekend.
Old     (ottog1979)      Join Date: Apr 2007       09-23-2010, 10:38 AM Reply   
So you also have a (bigger) part in this. You torturing her, she torturing you... How's that game going? How long do you want to play it? You may not consciously admit this, but you're equally keeping the game going (told her about ring, came home with a girl, condoms in junk drawer same night, keeping the dialog going) at least as much as she is and feeding whatever neurotic suspicions she already has. You're in charge more than you think you are. But, it's always easier to paint it on the other person.

If you really want less drama, leave it behind and choose something else for yourself. This is really about you, not her.

Just my 2 cents.

Last edited by ottog1979; 09-23-2010 at 10:46 AM.
Old     (behindtheboat)      Join Date: Aug 2006       09-23-2010, 10:46 AM Reply   
Quote:
Originally Posted by ottog1979 View Post
So you also have a (bigger) part in this. You torturing her, she torturing you... How's that game going? How long do you want to play it? You may not consciously admit this, but you're equally keeping the game going (told her about ring, came home with a girl, condoms in junk drawer same night, keeping the dialog going) at least as much as she is and feeding whatever neurotic suspicions she already has. You're in charge more than you think you are. It's always easier to paint it on the other person.

If you really want less drama, leave it behind and choose something else for yourself. This is really about you, not her.

Just my 2 cents.
That was not new to his situation, just to this lovely thread.
Old     (behindtheboat)      Join Date: Aug 2006       09-23-2010, 10:47 AM Reply   
also, I think her age and the difference may be causing some of this, she's not getting younger, and may feel the competition is... and she's worried and jealous, wants to make sure things are secure or is so insecure anything will trigger something like this.
Old     (hatepain)      Join Date: Aug 2006       09-23-2010, 10:43 AM Reply   
Ben, adding that last part to the eqaution I can certainly see how she is thinking what she is thinking. Tough one man. Put yourself in her position and look at it from her angle. If you found a mans ring not belonging to you and some random condoms. I knos if I came along those I'd be a good bit suspicious and I'm no where near a jealous guy.
Old     (mattgettel)      Join Date: Jan 2009       09-24-2010, 6:38 AM Reply   
are you sure that "gay" in the flyer above doesn't mean happy? Just a bunch of dudes chillin next to each other on the beach...sounds like a gay ole' time to me.

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