On the lighter side: The Bacon Tree
My late father would have loved this.
It's bad, sure, but he liked really bad jokes that he could drag out forever then drop a turd on your head in the end. The shaggy dog stuff was all him.
It's Friday, lighten up Frances and tell us your worst jokes.
The Bacon Tree:
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says...
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,
"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"
"Luis, Luis mi amigo.... what ees it? "
"Pepe... ees not a bacon tree. Ees...
Ees.... a ham bush....."
I'm sure that the folks who would walk across broken glass to find something to be offended by wouldn't agree, but that was pretty dang funny IMHO.
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