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-   -   Fostering - Adoption (http://www.wakeworld.com/forum/showthread.php?t=791182)

wakereviews 12-18-2011 7:33 AM

Fostering - Adoption
 
anyone have any experience with domestic adoption? We have 3 kids in our house with the youngest being twins who are almost 6. We are considering adoption of a toddler girl and are in the very very early part of even discussing it. I am confident we can handle another child and my wife has always wanted a girl. if anyone has any insight, tips, advice, it would be appreciated.

diamonddad 12-18-2011 11:14 AM

This will be interesting. I am also interested in this subject. Taking on an American crack baby would be scary move. Taking on an older American child with a troubled past would also be very difficult. However, taking on an unwanted healthy baby from China/Africa seems like it would be fairly easy (just the difficulties of normal parenting).

magic 12-18-2011 4:06 PM

Have friends doing this, we are kinda thinking about it too. Mostly looking at foster to adopt. You can chose the age range you want to assist with. Lots of background checks, in home assessments... fees, you name it. Way to much for a forum post.

I still can not get over the $40k to $50k you are looking at to adopt. Baffles me that it costs that much money to get a child out of a crap situation into a so much better environment.

ralph 12-18-2011 5:20 PM

My wife and previous husband adopted a boy from Russia @ 9 months old. My wife and I got together when he was 3 going on 4, he is almost 14 now. Its been a freakin awesome experience, he is a great little guy. Not sure I would like to do a domestic adoption tho, too many fish hooks.

buffalow 12-19-2011 7:31 AM

We adopted our 2 year old niece 12 years ago. Here father was never put on the birth certificate and we got her mother to sign off, so the documentation wasn't too bad. I have talked with several people that say the experience for for a domestic adoption is very tough and expensive. Well worth it in the end, but tough. I agree that it is crazy that there are so many needy kids and they make it so tough to help these kids. Good luck.

cpboarder 12-19-2011 8:47 PM

Both of my little sisters are adopted. The oldest one (8), we adopted from St. Petersburg, Russia when she was 16 months old. The youngest one (6), we adopted from Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan when she was 14 months. The two best experiences of my life and it has been nothing but great ever since.

Michigantim22 12-22-2011 4:52 PM

"Taking on an American crack baby would be a scary move". Come on now fellas, let's get serious. My man Ian posted a serious topic and you cheapen it with your sarcastic reply. After all, these are innocent children we are talking about here. As a parent who has a biological son and one who is adopted, I think he was asking for sincere feedback, opinions and advice. Ian, you know how to reach me if you ever want to discuss further. Tim

joeshmoe 12-23-2011 9:29 AM

crack babies
 
Don't think GD is 100% serious about the crack babies being a joke, even if the adopted baby is drug free, there is just so much you can do with nurture, don't expect your american adopted child to go to college, and don't be surprised when they struggle at school!

wakecumberland 12-23-2011 9:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joeshmoe (Post 1722728)
Don't think GD is 100% serious about the crack babies being a joke, even if the adopted baby is drug free, there is just so much you can do with nurture, don't expect your american adopted child to go to college, and don't be surprised when they struggle at school!

Uh....Steve Jobs was adopted. Just sayin.

Michigantim22 12-23-2011 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joeshmoe (Post 1722728)
Don't think GD is 100% serious about the crack babies being a joke, even if the adopted baby is drug free, there is just so much you can do with nurture, don't expect your american adopted child to go to college, and don't be surprised when they struggle at school!

Thanks Adam. Not to mention a brief few others who have done OK for themselves: (for Joe's sake)

Aristotle
John Hancock (great signature to be sure)
President Gerald Ford
President Bill Clinton (like him or not, he was still President)
First Ladies Nancy reagan and Eleanor Roosevelt
John Lennon (not sure if he went to college, but hell, what a career)
Tom Monaghan (founder of Dominos Pizza, and a multitude of charities)
Lee Majors (the bionic man cannot be all that bad)
Dave Thomas (next time you eat at Wendy's, you will feel guilty for being so negative)
George Carver Washington
Malcom X and Jesse Jackson (for those fans of civil activists)

Not sure what the future holds for my adopted son, or my biological son for that matter, but I like my odds: He might become president, form a world changing technology company, create a fast food giant, become a civil rights leader, who knows... maybe he'll just be a run of the mill "normal" person. We'll have to wait and see, but the journey should be fun. After all, life isn't a dress rehearsal.

Merry Christmas to all!

joeshmoe 12-23-2011 7:26 PM

but no one under 60 years of age? don't forget the kid in the movie The Blindside. I am sure the ten or so examples you have given would not have done anything without a loving family and support. It is hard enough to raise your biological kids let alone someone elses "problem kid", but not as hard as raising an autistic kid, so worse case scenario is you adopt a kid who is autistic or a crack baby! Not being negative, just realistic, good luck and if you don't kick the kid out of your house when they are 18, I would consider your adoption a success!

magic 01-10-2012 9:23 AM

Bringing this back up. We went to a session last night with the state manager of Foster to Adopt (forget the state department name at the moment). Wow, this process could be a quite a lot. We are looking into fostering or foster to adopt and hearing about the process is hard. I guess dealing with the government means you turn the old brain speed way down, wait, wait and wait some more. Makes me think about frontend process, don't take much to make a child. Sure takes a lot to raise a child. Crazy how hard it is to help, but I get putting an at risk child into a crappy/risky foster or adoption situation really bad too.

scotthons 01-10-2012 9:37 AM

My wife and I have had some unfortunate luck with having a baby and have recently kicked around the idea of adopting. My wife was speaking with a neighbor yesterday whose good friends just recently adopted. I believe they said it takes about 7 months for the adopting parents to get reviewed and approved. I believe she said the pregnant mom picks the family from pictures and bios. Not sure what the other timeline was, but after everything it was about an 18 month process.

This was in New Mexico which may be much quicker than other states.

01-10-2012 9:45 AM

Do you belong to a church? In my experience, our church has been the biggest contributor in the successful adoption of two of three kids that we foster. All three kids are from Cuba and the experience has been much, much easier than most other cases we know about. Also, from what I understand adopting kids from other countries requires a lot less paper work than domestic kids. I have a friend who adopted two Aboriginal children from Australia and the process was also easy.

magic 01-10-2012 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SamIngram (Post 1725039)
Do you belong to a church? In my experience, our church has been the biggest contributor in the successful adoption of two of three kids that we foster. All three kids are from Cuba and the experience has been much, much easier than most other cases we know about. Also, from what I understand adopting kids from other countries requires a lot less paper work than domestic kids. I have a friend who adopted two Aboriginal children from Australia and the process was also easy.

We are working with two churches, the session last night was a monthly deal hosted by one of them.

01-10-2012 10:56 AM

Are you trying for the same race kid or not? It would have been a costly and lengthy process if we wanted to adopt caucasian kids because they are in such demand both in this country and worldwide. I know that the Catholic Church, namely Catholic Charities of Dallas, currently has 35+ very young kids that they trying place from Cuba. We built and donated a dorm style building in Dallas where prospective parents can stay with the kids to get to know them for a couple weeks.

psudy 01-10-2012 11:37 AM

Don't forget about Big Brothers, Big Sisters Sean.

duramat 01-11-2012 8:53 PM

Tim, you forgot this great guy

http://old-wizard.com/wp-content/upl...davethomas.jpg

And his organization http://www.davethomasfoundation.org/

Im a big fan of adoption. Short version: My brother and GF had a baby and we were confident that he was a drug-baby (she lost costudial due to drugs). We ended up fostering him for a year and had to make the hard decision what was best for the little guy. I didnt want him to feel second best for whatever reasons. My bro was smart enough to realize he wasnt in a position to take on a kid. In the end tears were shed and my wife and I chose a wonderful family who were thrilled to have him. It was the most hardest thng to do and yet most rewarding and I would do it again. 8 years later, That kid is Awesome and doing well. We keep in touch and there have been no issues with him or his health. Not all foster kids are that lucky, but by fostering you give them something that they need. The wife and I have talked about maybe later on doing it again or look at adopting. Kids are just awesome and rewarding to have :)

jonblarc7 01-12-2012 7:27 AM

Ian

I'm not sure where your located but I highly recomended you and your wife should attend one of the Wake The World events. They are being held all over the country and are worth every second of being there. My wife and I have been doing it for three years now.


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