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poser007 05-24-2011 1:41 PM

Chick Help?
 
Ok so I have been pretty much single for about 6 years. Have dated tons of women but haven't really ever been that attracted to anyone. About 6 weeks ago I meet this gal online, we chat for a while and talk on the phone then we meet for lunch. She is really cute athletic even find out we go to the same church (Big Church Just Never Saw Her) Anyway since then we have text and chatted on the phone almost everyday. We have been out at least 8-10 times have had a lot of fun together.

Friday night we took a drive after a really nice dinner and ended up making out for about an hour. Nothing crazy. SO here is my question, I don't want to be the biotch in this relationship, but I have no idea if we are together or still gonna see other people? I know I sound pathetic but when i kind of started talking about it she kind of laughed it off and changed the subject. So I just figured i wouldnt bring it up any more. This gal is cute, super funny great personality and has a rockem sockem body. So do I just continue to go out and have fun and say nothing?

05-24-2011 1:53 PM

The best advice I can give anyone regarding the opposite sex is to read Ross in Range! Obviously only read those entries that interest you. I would start out with entry #14.

John Ross might not be for everyone, but I'm a huge Henry Bowman fan, so there!

acurtis_ttu 05-24-2011 2:01 PM

If you want to be exclusive with her...uhhh just ask her. Anyone that can't have a mature conversation about that prolly isnt' worth pursuing IMO.

History has taught me not discussing that ( goes for both parties) will lead to some pretty big issues.
Definately time to bring it up if/when you start sleeping with her on a regular basis.

U have a perfect way to transition into the topic...u met her online.....online dating is new to you.

psudy 05-24-2011 2:01 PM

Post up picks and Ill give you the answer.


Kidding aside, just ask her again, but have confidence when you do. As I recall, you're not in your twenties. Game time is over.

wakenymph 05-24-2011 2:03 PM

In my opinion, honesty is always the best policy. If you want her to be your girlfriend, ask her. if you dont care either way dont. Im not a sappy girl at all but when my boyfriend called me his girlfriend for the first time, i smiled like an idiot the whole day. even us tough chicks like being somebody's lady!

poser007 05-24-2011 2:08 PM

Lol thanks Michelle, alright good posts. Guess I will bring it up tonight will keep yall informed.

bigdtx 05-24-2011 4:10 PM

Well let's see... Friday night. You totally blew the "This could be the end of the world - do you really want to go out alone.." line - have to wait another 5 months for that one...

sidekicknicholas 05-24-2011 6:36 PM

I would sleep with another women right in front of her, if she gets mad then you'll know which was the right answer.

Doesn't count til its Facebook Official right??

buffalow 05-25-2011 7:23 AM

As a guy that has been married 21 years I offer a different approach. What's your hurry? If it was meant to be and it is mutual, than it resolves itself. You will both stop seeing others if it is real. Why label it? What do you actually gain from that? Doesn't mean to not talk about it, but why push. If you were feeling like you are wasting your time, that is a different issue.

Good luck.

pierce_bronkite 05-25-2011 7:46 AM

This thread is hilarious.

sailing216 05-25-2011 7:49 AM

Agree with Jason. Married a long time too. Why rush, have fun with it. Label it too early and you come off stalkerish. let it evolve into whatever. Don't facebook anything. Mix up your dates, doesn't always have to be nice and formal.
Honesty is best in any situation.

I like the 'end of the world' line.

jeff_mn 05-25-2011 9:12 AM

I'd sleep with her sister and test the waters.. Feel out her reponse and come up with a gameplan from there.

guido 05-25-2011 10:22 AM

As much as I like Nick and Jeff's response, I agree with Jason. Let it flow, man. You'll know when it happens. Don't sweat it. If it goes on for months and stays casual, then consider playing the field a bit or bringing it up then that you're looking for something more. Relationships develop on their own. If it's meant to be, then you'll be the first call she makes when she needs someone to talk to or go out with.

jperkinsttu 05-25-2011 10:32 AM

Let if flow like everyone else said. Some way or another you will figure out whether you like her enough to pursue it further. Or you can go the route of just answering texts/phone calls from other girls on front of her and act like it's no big deal. That'll prolly p!ss her off more than anything haha.

migs 05-25-2011 10:49 AM

Dont say anything, just play it cool. Shell be the one to say something first, then youve got it.

you bring it up first, then shes got you sewn up - done.

"dont hate the player, hate the game"

brett33 05-25-2011 11:24 AM

IMO the one who cares less in the relationship holds the most power. dont sweat the little things. chances are she's into you. what girl would watse her time going on repeat dates with someone she doesnt like? if it comes up in conversation, be honest. tell her how you feel and odds are she feels the same way.

diamonddad 05-25-2011 12:00 PM

No games. Be honest. Tell her how you feel. But, never seem needy. Share but stay Alpha. Good luck!

fly135 05-25-2011 12:08 PM

Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George told the woman he loved her, and Kramer had the dispute with the chimp.

poser007 05-25-2011 2:40 PM

Alright so heres what happened, this is embarrassing so be nice. Yesterday she kiond of ticked me off so I ignored a couple of her text messages, then she called me twice and I didn't answer....I know totally adolescent and out of charachter for me but this girl plays the game like James Bond it's truly weird. Anyway this morning at 6am I receive another text from her informing me that she has decided that she has thought about it all night and thinks it is a good idea if we remained really good friends. I sat there in bed staring at the text trying to figure out my next move. I simply texted her back and said sounds like a plan so she wouldn't think it got to me at all. Anyway guess I got my answer without me having to be the Biotch in the relationship. I am pretty bummed though have to admit.

Anyway Im fazing her out I dont really want to be friends with her because I really like her and do't think I can do that.....thanks for all the good posts.

BCPMike0663 05-25-2011 3:16 PM

Sorry it turned out that way flight.
The only advice I can give you is, if you really like someone never. I mean never enter "friend mode". That is just asking for slow and painful torture. Cut your loses and move on.

guido 05-25-2011 3:42 PM

I mean never enter "friend mode".

Hahahahah.... Truer words have never been spoken.

She'll be back. Play it cool, lay low. Date her friends if possible. Girls love guys that aren't interested in them. The more hard to get you are the crazier they'll go. Good luck.

poser007 05-25-2011 3:50 PM

Evan isnt that crazy so true...it seems like all the other gals I meet who Im not interested in all blow up my phone. Once you show the slightest interest they know they have you.

jetskiprosx 05-25-2011 7:46 PM

I'm still stuck on, "ended up making out for about an hour. "

bftskir 05-25-2011 10:43 PM

somebody somewhere is sick and tired of her

diamonddad 05-25-2011 11:52 PM

> "she has thought about it all night" and sent you a text at 6 AM.

This doesn't sound like a chick that is not into you. I think you will see her again.

poser007 05-26-2011 11:54 AM

GD and like clock work she calls me today wanting to know if I want to go to a BBQ with her this Sunday. I said no thanks but have fun. Chicks are freaking nuts.

guido 05-26-2011 12:47 PM

hahahaha.... That took a lot less time than I was thinking. You did it just right. Bagged her once, then pushed off the BBQ. Now you just need to wait till she calls again, maybe go out with her but act like you're not really into it. Kinda act distracted. She wont be able to leave you alone after that.

Or if you're seriously done... You need to abort it now. I had one chick calling me for years after I broke up with her. It was my bad for keeping her around as a "in-between buddy" if you know what I mean. Even told me that she was going to have to tell my then girlfriend about "us". Up until about two years ago I could track her logging into our website. We broke up almost 10 years ago. She was super crazy. Oh well... good times.

wakenymph 05-26-2011 1:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poser007 (Post 1681505)
GD and like clock work she calls me today wanting to know if I want to go to a BBQ with her this Sunday. I said no thanks but have fun. Chicks are freaking nuts.

we all arent crazy!!!!!!!!


But a good portion are :p

05-26-2011 2:49 PM

Read the John Ross link that I posted above... #24... John Ross knows his stuff...

bcrider 05-26-2011 4:21 PM

First thing I told my now wife years ago....I ain't playing games nor will I put up with it. If you wanna hang out call, if not don't. I don't have time for this *****. Totally called her on it and she has even admitted that she was trying to play games at the time. Don't try so hard Flight007, if it's gonna happen it will you don't need to push it. Besides, most girls will be the ones that start asking "where is this relationship going?" In the meantime go out with as many girls as you want too until you find the right one for yourself.

no_tools 05-26-2011 5:33 PM

just hit her in the head with a club. lol just kidding. also as a married man. just wait.

bendow 05-27-2011 6:51 AM

I've got a lot of great relationship advice from WW. Evan always gives good advice. Things may have gone south for this one, but in the future just let it flow like others said.

My best advice is before you get serious with any girl do a little research on her. I broke up with a psycho girl awhile back. She hung around a different circle of friends than me so I didn't know much about her. When I told a few of my friends we broke up, their response was "yeah, she's a slut anyway." Ugh...thanks for telling me. Turned out to be true and I found out some disturbing things about her promiscuity...AFTER I broke up with her. I was so pissed to find I was parading this girl around that every guy in the bar took a swing at. All is good now though...moved on to a younger, more attractive, and level headed girl...and like ...my FB status totally says "In a relationship" now.

steezyshots 05-27-2011 10:10 AM

If you are in a rush to not have sex anymore get married. Otherwise wait and play the field even if that field is one girl.

I'll tell you what most married people wont because as I have found out married people like to play this little game of missery loves company. Marriage is the harrdest thing i have ever done, my wife and I have smartened up and aren't buying into the whole "kids are the biggest blessing ever" line that all people with kids say. We already fell for the marriage line!

HAHAHA

and just in case my wife comes on here...


I love you baby!
:-)

fly135 05-27-2011 11:04 AM

We all knew it, but now it's been proven.... Women don't like it when guys are happy.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases...0524070310.htm

poser007 05-27-2011 11:56 AM

John just read that study funny thing is Im a pretty happy guy by nature very friendly. Maybe the study has some validity, after all she did say that when we kissed it felt a little brother sistery. Maybe I should have grabbed her by the hair, slapped her around a bit and told her to get in the kitchen and make me a turkey pot pie....then maybe then I would think about making out again as long as the NBA Playoffs weren't on.

guido 05-27-2011 12:29 PM

Hahahah.... I don't think anyone has ever told me I give good relationship advice before. Maybe good suspension tuning advice or carburetor advice, but never relationship advice. I think I've learned most of the lessons the hard way. School of hard knocks, for sure.

Riley... I totally disagree. Just had my fifth anniversary. Being married has been the coolest thing ever for me. I definitely found a girl that is totally sane. I just did it very early on. Not knowing what I had I tried dating around a bunch, then had to work my a$$ of to get her back when I realized the error in my ways. Sometimes it even drives me crazy how level headed she is. I'll try to get her worked up and it just doesn't happen. Heck I can count the number of arguments we've had. Anyway... Maybe marriage was easy for us since we'd been dating for 10 years first. There weren't too many suprises. So far, getting a dog was our biggest eye opener. It's different when you have another being that totally relies on you. I'm sure a kid will be a game changer. I'll let you know when we decide it's time. If I love a kid half as much as I love my dog I'll be totally whooped.

Flight... Have fun with it, man. Life's too short to let a girl get you worked up, right?

lizzyb 05-27-2011 2:46 PM

This thread is hilarious. Most entertainment I've had on WW in a very long time.

I agree with Evan.. I think marriage is awesome if you are lucky enough to find the right person to spend your life with. Sorry to hijack.. but Evan, I can't wait for you two to have kids. You will both be fantastic parents and despite what Riley says.. it IS the greatest blessing in the world to be a parent.

Dan - I wouldn't even waste your time. There is a girl out there for you that won't be unsure of how she feels about you and that you won't have to put so much thought and effort in to.. it will be natural and easy when it's right. Good luck to you. :)

poser007 05-27-2011 3:41 PM

I know Lizzy the crazy thing is there are tons but I dont feel the same way about them...the minute I find someone I do BAM I get a taste of my own medicine and let me tell ya it's pretty sour. SO she texts me this morning wanting to know if I could help her train her arms so she could look HOT for her up coming high school reunion, I was like WHAT? Anyway didn't even return the text what a freaking nut case

jon4pres 05-27-2011 4:02 PM

My experience. . .

Kids rock. Wives are crazy.

My daughter is the greatest blessing that I have in my life.

I had a great relationship with my sane wife until we had a baby and something happened to her and she went crazy. 7 months later she all the sudden didn't love me anymore, 1 month after that she left, then a year after that we were divorced.

Here is the advice that I will follow next time around.

Meet her mom. Before you fall in love or can't live without someone meet her mom. If her mom is crazy she is more than likely going to be crazy later in life. At this point RUN.

05-27-2011 4:28 PM

Dood, I knew you weren't really an auto tech. Dr. Evan in the house!

ord27 05-27-2011 4:44 PM

i don't know flight....
my gut reaction when I read this post was: once you started talking about it she got scared. I think then she entertained the notion and decided to venture out into those waters. When you ignored her calls and texts, she went into protection mode. That's when she told you that she just wants to be really good friends. When you agreed and didn't fight for her, she probably tried to let you go. Thing is, she doesn't want to let you go. She is now making excuses to spend time with you.

like I said, just my gut talking (but I am just going on what has been posted here).

thing is: if you really like this girl, fight for what you want. Worst case, you guys will drift apart. It sounds like you are already willing to do that now if you cant be closer.

middle ground: You guys will have a pretty good relationship but yall might eventually decide that it's not meant to be. Worst thing in that scenario is that you both grow and learn more about what you want, like and dislike (resulting in a better relationship the next time)

best case: yall are destined and things turn out really special

I know that I now sound like the bitch.....but I've been married 20 years, have 2 teenage daughters, and am have been the boss of 15-20 member female crews now for nearly 30 years

just my 2 cents?
what do you women think?

ord27 05-27-2011 4:51 PM

wow, typed a long narrative and things went haywire when I pressed reply

here is the abbreviated version:
when you mentioned it, she got scared
when she thought about it and you didnt respond to texts or calls, she put walls up to protect herself
when she said friends and you didnt fight for her, she tried to let you go

when she couldnt do that, she tried to invent reasons to see you

if you like her, fight for her
if it works, great

if it doesnt, it's clear to both of yall

if it works for awhile and fizzles, you both grow and future relationships benefit

thats just my gut reaction from what has been posted

I have been married 20 years, have 2 teenage daughters
and have run different crews of 20 plus women for almost 30 years

just my 2 cents

depoint50ae 05-29-2011 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jon4pres (Post 1681804)
My experience. . .

Kids rock. Wives are crazy.

My daughter is the greatest blessing that I have in my life.
cr
I had a great relationship with my sane wife until we had a baby and something happened to her and she went crazy. 7 months later she all the sudden didn't love me anymore, 1 month after that she left, then a year after that we were divorced.

Here is the advice that I will follow next time around.

Meet her mom. Before you fall in love or can't live without someone meet her mom. If her mom is crazy she is more than likely going to be crazy later in life. At this point RUN.

I am going through an identical scenario right now. We are working out the separation and will be divorced in about a year. She waited longer to drop the bomb on me. Other than her waiting longer to give me the news its all the same story down to the bat poop crazy Mother in law.

poser007 05-29-2011 3:08 PM

Ok another update. So today I did see her at church we kinda smiled and waved. After the service I get in my car and Im driving away and noticed she was actually texting me during the service. Told me she missed me and didnt think she would miss me this much. Anyway that BBQ I was supposed to go to was today so I seized the opportunity and said well thats what u wanted have fun at the BBQ with your friends.....then she blew up my phone and I never returned a text or call.

WHos on top now baby? That would be me. You guys rock lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fly135 05-29-2011 5:23 PM

I'm confused... She "is cute, super funny great personality and has a rockem sockem body", you liked her enough to talk relationship, she was skittish but came around, but you blew her off and now you're on top? Not really seeing it.

poser007 05-29-2011 5:51 PM

It's my defense mechanism I guess John, I don't like feeling rejected so I guess it's my little way of protecting myself who knows.

jeff359 05-29-2011 6:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sidekicknicholas (Post 1681059)
I would sleep with another women right in front of her, if she gets mad then you'll know which was the right answer.

If she joins in, you know you have a keeper?

beretta5spd 05-29-2011 7:50 PM

I married young, don't regret it one bit.

The games people play are way more complicated than it has to be.

Find yourself a girl you know is being genuine and you won't need to build up walls of defense mechanisms. It's not to say things can't come up in your relationship later.... but you won't have the huge blow up if you know you want to make it work. This should be fun.... not manipulation. So if you think this girl can be genuine with you, be genuine with her. Begin to trust each other with the little things. Don't rush, take it all in and enjoy.

trace 05-30-2011 6:54 AM

I think Dan is just butthurt because she wasn't ready to talk about getting serious after a few dates. Who's the one that's playing games here?

deneng 05-30-2011 7:33 AM

Dwight is right Dan..Be cool to her and you guy's can both grow and nobody will get hurt. So what if you are a goof . At least you are a honest goof..

poser007 05-30-2011 10:43 AM

UPDATE - We are getting married In August you are all invited!!!!!!!!

Just kidding, have a great Memorial Day everyone.:D

colorider 05-31-2011 8:30 AM

Pork her sister. Or best friend. Works every time.

poser007 05-31-2011 11:23 AM

Ok received an email this mornig telling me she would like to take this week and spend as much time together as possible to see if she made a mistake. At the end of the week if we are both feeling good about it she wants to date and move forward, if not we go our separate ways.

What are your thoughts? What should I do?

migs 05-31-2011 11:25 AM

tell her youre too busy all week, but Friday night looks good.

fly135 05-31-2011 11:48 AM

The first thing you should do is not ask us for advice. Second, send her a link to this thread.

ord27 05-31-2011 11:56 AM

take her up on her offer and stop playing games

behindtheboat 05-31-2011 12:06 PM

my take is: her friends likely have someone they've lined up for her, and she knows they, if not her too, will immediately compare you to him. So she's delaying what any outcome may be from that. Unfortunately more girls listen to their friends than themself personally, which isn't a fun scenerio.

sidekicknicholas 05-31-2011 12:09 PM

Quote:

At the end of the week if we are both feeling good about it she wants to date and move forward, if not we go our separate ways.
A week to make/break something.... with that who is to say that week two sucks for her and shes out. Just let it ride until it sucks. I'm engaged and don't think her and I ever said "We're dating" ever... for me it all would just sort of happen, if its all good and going right, you don't have to label anything.

bcrider 05-31-2011 1:26 PM

Just hang out with the damn girl already!!!! Your playing more games then she is.

diamonddad 05-31-2011 1:45 PM

It seems like both of you are making this way to difficult. That said, I would not enter a 1 week test under her terms. You will not pass as a passenger in her vehicle. Women want Alpha Men. An alpha man would say "screw your trial period". All dating is a trial period. If you want to hang with me, I want to hang with you. But, there is no time limit. At any moment, I can tell you to get lost or you can tell me to get lost.

denverd1 05-31-2011 1:51 PM

truth! you called her bluff, now go hit it

poser007 05-31-2011 2:03 PM

GD great advice what in the crap was i thinking? John, yeah I think I will send her a link to this forum so she can run for the hills lol your post did make me laugh though.

lizzyb 05-31-2011 2:51 PM

I agree.. this is WAY too difficult. You're both playing stupid games and making this so much harder than it has to be.

This is reading a lot like some drama I might have gone though... when I was a teenager. Grown adults don't need to do all of this.. and if you do.. chances are that this girl is not the right one anyway.

jon4pres 05-31-2011 7:37 PM

Sounds to me like you are the one playing games. If you don't want to be with her tell her that. If you want to hang out with her do that. Be honest with yourself and her you are making this way to confusing.

Stop playing the games that we all accuse women of playing and do what you want.

parkgirl 06-01-2011 8:35 AM

Games are for highschool and maybe college. Get over that crap and you'll find a good chick.
Ive been married for 5 years, we've been together for 12. Easiest relationship in my life. We just worked. We both wanted to be in it and didn't give the other a reason to doubt it. When you have that, you've found a keeper. Until then, keep your options open. Have fun and don't let the games ruin your opportunities. Way more drama then it's worth. Just my thoughts.

steezyshots 06-01-2011 10:20 AM

HAHAHA I should have elaborated more. Marriage is awesome and I love my wife very much, but it is the hardest thing I have ever done. Not because my wife is crazy you all know how awesome Cassie is. More for the fact that we are in it for the long haul and anything that you dedicate your life to takes work. The reason we don't want to throw kids in the mix is because we are having way too much fun without em. We are a bit selfish!

poser007 06-05-2011 1:51 PM

Alright real update here. We had a great night last night and a long talk. Turns out she thought I was the player and she saw how many women I had on Facebook and it just made her feel uneasy. Go figure. So now we are an item and had a great time last night.

End of story

fly135 06-05-2011 3:24 PM

That was easy. Congrats.

bcrider 06-06-2011 8:49 AM

Talking...who would have thunk it?lol.

buffalow 06-07-2011 8:31 AM

End of story huh? Highly doubt that. So she was jealous and acted out? No chance that will ever happen again. A relationship starting in mis-trust and jealously NEVER succeed! Just like cheaters always cheat! Facts of life my friends. Flight - I hope the best for you and if you both can talk more and speculate less, you got a shot. Good luck.

sidekicknicholas 06-10-2011 9:32 AM

Quote:

she thought I was the player and she saw how many women I had on Facebook and it just made her feel uneasy.
That sounds like something that could turn into a PITA

bruizza 06-10-2011 9:51 AM

I wish I had clicked on this thread earlier. It just made my Friday! Good luck Fight!

jason_ssr 06-10-2011 7:20 PM

Just remember, they are ALL crazy and they all know it. They are also conditioned to mask it. Individual variables dictate how much effort any single one is required to put into hiding it. For example, the super hot ones, dont have to put alot of effort into hiding it because most men they meet will put up with it. Even the most even keeled girl will go nutjob on you when comfortable enough.

So, dont waste your time trying to find a sane one. Just find one with integrity and attributes you like.

sidekicknicholas 06-13-2011 6:59 AM

Quote:

So, dont waste your time trying to find a sane one. Just find one with integrity and attributes you like.
Awesome.

poser007 06-13-2011 11:56 AM

So far so good, went on a long hike yesterday then a nice dinner. Now that the game playing is out of the way we are actually having a blast together. She is an avid hiker I have never hiked im more of a gym rat. So we go on this 2 hour hike and I was dead. As we were walking back my car was about 150 yards off in the distance. Being pretty athletic I say to her..if you can beat me to my car I will give you $100.00

Needless to say she takes off like a bat out of hell....I am in hot pursuit but realize I am not making any head way, fearing I am gonna have to cough up a hunsky, I pull the hammy trick, it worked she came running back and as soon as she got close I tackled her to the ground got up and started running. As I touched the car first we were laughing so hard I couldn't breath. She just may be the coolest chick I have ever met.

benbuchholz 06-16-2011 8:50 AM

Hmm...can someone link me to what post the pics were in? I can't seem to find them, I looked through the whole thread. I don't think they loaded. :D

Nice Flight, sounds like you two are having a good time!

wake77 06-16-2011 9:02 AM

Have you two schrauched yet?

poser007 06-16-2011 11:27 AM

Not sure how to post pics on here any more? It wants me to put a link in have no idea how I would do that.

fly135 06-16-2011 12:40 PM

Hit the "Go Advanced" button and then "Manage Attachments".

If you keep your pics at photobucket.com then you can post them by pasting the image link that looks like this....

[IMG]url to image[/IMG]

poser007 06-16-2011 2:43 PM

2 Attachment(s)
Thanks John Ok so remember I'm an old dude this girl is 40 not 20 but I think she is Hot

Ok hope this worked. In the photo without the dog she is wearing no makeup at all.


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