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bendow 09-21-2010 7:32 AM

relationship advice
 
Just looking for advice or opinions on an issue with my GF that I'm completely perplexed about. I'll try to keep it brief. I came home from work last week and I noticed there was a females ring sitting on my banister. I assumed it was my girlfriends ring as no other girl has been to my place in months. Well when my GF got there I grabbed the ring and said hey you left your ring here. She said it's not her ring...and that's when all hell broke loose. Now she's asking me where this ring came from and I don't have the slightest clue. I don't know what to tell her other than I don't know. She's certain that I had another girl over, which couldn't be any further from the truth. I've never cheated on any girlfriend, and I definitely wouldn't cheat on this one as I love and care about her more than the others. I've entertained a few ideas; maybe my last ex somehow got in and is trying to sabotage my relationship, but I don't see how that's possible because she doesn't have a key to my place and I've haven't heard from her in a long time. I've also considered the possibility of my current girlfriend planting it there as a reason to get out of the relationship, but I don't think that's likely because she's hasn't left me over the issue. So now my girlfriend is asking me over and over where this damn ring came from. I keep on telling her over and over I don't know, because I don't...I don't know what else I can do...

sidekicknicholas 09-21-2010 7:35 AM

Do you have a sister/girl cousin/best friend (no threat to your girlfriend) buddy..... call them, tell them the problem, ask them to drop by and say "Hey, I left my ring here last week when I popped in..." problem solved.

behindtheboat 09-21-2010 7:42 AM

Was it found in the room? I would just assume it was a guests'.

jarrod 09-21-2010 7:43 AM

Maybe SHE had another girl over.

sidekicknicholas 09-21-2010 7:45 AM

^ Scrap my idea.... go with that one, things could get awesome.

ntidsl 09-21-2010 7:47 AM

posting that on here and hoping she reads this isnt the best way to deal with it...if she's just a girlfriend and she's freaking about a ring then let her go now...you don't want to live with that the rest of your life...

bendow 09-21-2010 7:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ntidsl (Post 1634738)
posting that on here and hoping she reads this isnt the best way to deal with it...if she's just a girlfriend and she's freaking about a ring then let her go now...you don't want to live with that the rest of your life...

yeah...I'm just hoping she'll stumble over a website called wakeworld, and then just happen to come upon the non-wake section and click on my post. I've been a member here for 5 years. I've always got good advice from this place...this topic is no different.

ntidsl 09-21-2010 8:01 AM

if she is freaking about a ring...she will be monitorring your computer use too buddy, sorry! good luck

mattgettel 09-21-2010 8:13 AM

I have to agree that if she is freaking out about this there will be more trouble in the future. You need to tell her to chill or its over. Just my .02$.

bendow 09-21-2010 8:23 AM

In her defense I would probably question her if there was some guys watch that mysteriously appeared at her place.

jarrod 09-21-2010 8:33 AM

she has a good reason to freak, unless as I suggested, she is guilty of something and has no choice but to freak out on you in order to maintain her own innocence.

You need to find out where the ring came from.

diamonddad 09-21-2010 9:55 AM

Where was the ring found? Was it in a place where it could have gone unnoticed for a long time?

I was in a hotel room in Santa Rosa a couple of weeks ago when our dog started chomping on something she found under the desk. I pulled it from her mouth to see that it was a thai-stick of marijana with buds attached. I wondered how may guests back that was dropped and how many times the maids missed cleaning it up. Point being, things can go missing and hide for months.

guido 09-21-2010 10:00 AM

Sit her down, look her straight in the eye, tell her how you feel about her and that you don't know where the ring came from. Maybe try to explore the possibilities together. If she can't get past it at that point, then you're going to have a long road ahead of you with this relationship. If she doesn't trust you now, she probably never will.

PictureMeRollin 09-21-2010 10:09 AM

Dude, PIITB.

bcrider 09-21-2010 10:21 AM

If you were in the wrong, why in the he$$ would you say " hey you left your ring here" .....you wouldn't!!! You'd get rid of all evidence, you wouldn't hang yourself.

Why not have her check with her friends to see if they are missing a ring from when they were over last. Either way you need to sort this girl out.

I'm with CIE Evan otherwise.

diamonddad 09-21-2010 10:27 AM

As I got older, I realized that the jealousy-card was an evil play. It never pays. Never get jealous unless you need to and if you need to move on.

jarrod 09-21-2010 10:31 AM

GD, congrats on coming up on some stash.

bigdtx 09-21-2010 10:38 AM

My advice:

1) Check your pants for your balls.
2) If not found then check your girlfriends purse.
3) If not found check her mother's purse, they're probably in there with your future father-in-law's set.
4) If you find them, attempt a re-attach (if they still fit).
5) Find the door - use it.
6) Find the chick that belongs to that ring and re-fire your junk.
7) Finally become a MAN....

bendow 09-21-2010 11:40 AM

Yeah...if I did have another girl over the last thing I would do is ask my GF if it was hers.

Anyway, here's the update:

My GF told me to ask my friends if it was their ring. So I did. There was only one girl I could think of who's it was. The girl I thought to ask has been a dear friend of mine for years. I had some friends come in town a long time ago and everyone stayed at my house...including my female friend. I called her at lunch and asked her about the ring. I described part of the ring and she described the rest. I was completely elated to find that it was her ring. I don't know how it got on the banister. I may have found it thinking it was my GF's, put it there and forgot. Or my GF could have found it and put it there wanting me to see it, but she denies this. Anyway, I told my GF who's it was. She thinks I'm collaborating on a lie with my friend. She said "what a coincidence the first person you ask ITS HERS!!!" So she doesn't believe and told me "bye and take care"...oh well...

stxr_racer 09-21-2010 11:53 AM

Show her your post here on WW to convince her of your innocence.. If that doesn't work, you'll be able to give the ring to your new girl friend with out it costing you anything;)

mattgettel 09-21-2010 11:55 AM

yeah i hope you kept the ring at least. Sounds like you might be better off to let her go. Call up the girl that left it at your house and see what she is doing tonight?

bendow 09-21-2010 12:08 PM

It's like a $5 ring...lol...guess it's all I got now.

Won't be showing her this post...she'll accuse me of some other kind of elaborate lie.

mattgettel 09-21-2010 12:09 PM

true dat ben...true dat

guido 09-21-2010 12:24 PM

Flush her and move on..... Lot's of less crazy fish in the sea.

Oh, and did I mention; she'll be back.

bigdtx 09-21-2010 12:46 PM

LOL - refer to my previous post step 1.
Dude if you ever had a man card you need to turn it in now.

dirtrider 09-21-2010 1:47 PM

Walk away, and never look back.

steezyshots 09-21-2010 2:50 PM

ALL girls/women are crazy! And ALL Boys/men don't care. The trick in relationships is finding the girl whose craziness you can deal with and a girl who can deal with your lack of emotions. Sometimes stuff will blow up if she's worth it you deal with it and truck forward, if not there are plenty of skeezers out there to have some fun with!

hatepain 09-21-2010 3:38 PM

She wanted out plain and simple. I'm sure she found the ring and placed it there in hopes you'd ask about it then she could enact her bailout plan. To me it sounds like you will be better off in the long run.

ashly 09-21-2010 4:21 PM

I love how every time there is a post on here about a wife or girlfriend who is getting upset or who is insecure the standard response is to leave her. Must be a lot of divorced and single males around here. Yeah she lost her ****. Standard response. Most girls would. If you want to deal with it then try to talk to her, if she doesn't want to talk then give her time to cool and try again. If you want to walk then walk. Girls are b*tches and men are pigs, if you guys cant seem to balance each other out or work out then walk away and find someone who's more on your level.

hatepain 09-21-2010 5:16 PM

He clearly did try and talk it out with her and diligently sought out the right owner per her instructions only to have her walk. Yeah you're right we are way off...

jetskiprosx 09-21-2010 5:43 PM

Ashly must be one of the crazy girls who's guy just up and left and now shes pissed lol

j/k :)

behindtheboat 09-22-2010 7:30 AM

IMO, this is a test to see if you come chasing...... and it won't be the last time. Especially around young 20's, people (likely females) are always looking for that butterfly-honeymoon stage, and once it's gone search for it

mattgettel 09-22-2010 7:37 AM

quit this girl now. i dated plenty of crazies in my day. i would always hang on and chase them for way too long. once i found the girl i have now i realized that there are good chicks out there that aren't totally crazy. quit this **** and move on

bcrider 09-22-2010 9:22 AM

Riley that's what I always say as well.....All women are crazy, it's just what level of craziness your willing to deal with.lol. Oh, how I love my wife, atleast if she's being crazy I can call her out on it and she checks herself.

Benjamin- I think you should feel lucky to have gotten rid of her if that's the kind of crap she pulls. Have your friend call her if you really care. Still sounds as if your girlfriend was baiting you in to this. Your young.....go bang!

benbuchholz 09-22-2010 9:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bcrider (Post 1635071)
Benjamin- I think you should feel lucky to have gotten rid of her if that's the kind of crap she pulls. Have your friend call her if you really care. Still sounds as if your girlfriend was baiting you in to this. Your young.....go bang!

+1.

I'd be surprised if this is the first time she's flipped out about something so small? This looks like a way out, to me. Let her go, and find someone better. Just a question, was this chick smokin hot? Cuz i've found that "hot comes with crazy, and crazy comes with hot. whether you like it or not." I think something along those lines has been said on here, by Riley if I remember right hahah :p

clubjoe 09-22-2010 10:29 AM

Holy cow, why is it so hard to figure out you cant have a reasonable communication with an unreasonable person.

If you didn't do anything wrong, and she's not buying it, unhitch your lips from her butt and move on, cuz it won't be the last time it happens.

bendow 09-22-2010 11:34 AM

She's attractive...she's also 8 years older than me, 34. Now she's texting me talking $4!t about an ex-gf of mine who she has never met that is entirely unrelated to the current conflict. After that I text her back and told her to leave me alone, and she replied with "I'll leave you alone, just to let you know, I'm not going out, calling other guys, or acting "single" I'm just mourning the loss of an amazing relationship"

I honestly can't figure this girl out for the life of me...so hot or cold.

stephan 09-22-2010 11:54 AM

Nickel says if you avoid her like the plague for a week she will be up in your business in no time. She sounds like the kind of person that revels in conflict, probably had a dad cheat on her mom or something. She's been indoctrinated to believe that you are lying, no matter what is said.

Like Riley said, we just don't care all that much. We are simple, we tell it like it is, if we get called a liar doing the right thing, then screw em, they are not worth our time. Tell her to mourn the relationship and you will mourn the fact that you dated an irrational idiot for so long.

lizzyb 09-22-2010 12:14 PM

Run. Seriously.

Steve - Hahaha! I love it. Great line.

ottog1979 09-22-2010 12:15 PM

Quote:

Holy cow, why is it so hard to figure out you cant have a reasonable communication with an unreasonable person.
No truer words spoken.

Quote:

If you didn't do anything wrong, and she's not buying it, unhitch your lips from her butt and move on, cuz it won't be the last time it happens.
No better advice given.

guido 09-22-2010 12:36 PM

Ben... what can I say? You've come through again with another awesome relationship thread. Best of luck to you, my friend. Keep us posted.

mattgettel 09-22-2010 12:48 PM

YIKES! RUN!
crazy biatch.

buffalow 09-22-2010 5:41 PM

This calls for a tune.....

Break me down, you got a lovely face
We're going to your place
And now you got to freak me out
Scream so loud, getting ****in' laid
You want me to stay, but I got to make my way

Hey
You're crazy bitch
But you f so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

Take it off, the paper is your game
You jump in bed with fame
Another one night paid in full, uh
You're so fine, it won't be a loss
Cashing in the rocks, just to get you face to face

Hey
You're crazy bitch
But you f so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

Baby girl
You want it all
To be a star
You'll have to go down
Take it off
No need to talk
You're crazy
But I like the way you f me


You're crazy
But I like the way you f me

phatboypimp 09-22-2010 7:12 PM

1 Attachment(s)
(not my words)

The problem is certain women’s increase in physical attractiveness has been disproportional to their increase in psychosis. Luckily for us, a chart exists where we can see just how out of balance the ratio between your hotness and craziness has become - knowledge that can prove to be invaluable over the course of your daily life. The scale is a scale is with the vertical axis labeled "HOT" and the horizontal axis labeled "CRAZY." A girl is allowed to be crazy, as long as she is equally hot. If shes crazy she has to be hot, if shes really crazy she has to be really hot.

bendow 09-22-2010 7:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guido (Post 1635178)
Ben... what can I say? You've come through again with another awesome relationship thread. Best of luck to you, my friend. Keep us posted.

Thanks Evan, hope that XR is running well!

So I went to my friends who's ring I thought it was and it's not hers!!! Back to square one, I have no clue where this ring came from

TheSarge 09-22-2010 8:08 PM

Please post pics of the Ex so we can truly help you out.

fatsac 09-23-2010 8:06 AM

Man, this really sucks for you! Isn't it funny how we can all read this or watch a friend go through the same and think, "dude, you are wasting your time"? Trouble is, throw some good tail and a little affection in our face and it's hook, line, boom...sunk!! I've been through it more times than I remember and believe me, I must radiate crazy b-tch cologne. Once you stop playing her game, she'll be back like a bad beaver. If she's truly the crazy type, she'll be at your door at 3am, drunk as a skunk, trying to smash your living room window.
Well, maybe that last bit is just my experience.
It's true about crazy to hot proportion though. Our society allows and encourages attractive women to be developmentally lazy and apathetic. It sucks but that's life and I'm not about to settle for a troll. So the game goes on...

Good luck!

09-23-2010 8:41 AM

Well, if you can wait a year you can go to the gay camping trip at my local lake... You can teach them not to power turn! We are staying home that weekend...

http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/i...0adc9d5654.jpg

bcrider 09-23-2010 9:03 AM

Benjamin- DO NOT reply to any text of hers. A) she'll keep talkin crap and keep baiting you B) It will drive her crazy, the more you act like you don't care or are going to move on and not deal with her BS the better.

Not your other friends ring? Don't tell your now ex that.

bendow 09-23-2010 9:47 AM

Too late. As soon as I found out it wasn't my friends ring I told her. She said something like "I didn't think I could feel anymore sick than this, but now I do" I told her I don't know what else I can say or do...I'm out.

I just hate being accused of something I didn't do. It wouldn't be so bad if I did do something wrong and I was on damage control, but nothing (to me) is more frustrating than being wrongly accused...

ttrigo 09-23-2010 9:48 AM

did you think that maybe she is actually sick? she could be bi-polar, and not even be aware of it. chances are, she just has some trust issues that are still fresh from a previous relationship. but dont entirely rule out that she has some mental disease as well. good luck figuring it out.

bendow 09-23-2010 10:18 AM

I don't think she's bi-polar...another thing happened that I didn't mention as to why she thinks I'm cheating.

I didn't mention it because it was not a mystery to me. One night before my GF and I started dating I came home with a girl and I was pretty hammered. I had condoms in the "junk drawer" in my kitchen...so I went in there and ripped one off of the strip, well the last condom on the strip got ripped open too. It was dark and I was drunk and I threw them back in the wrong drawer where some cooking utensils are. They were thrown in the very back of that drawer and I didn't realize that's where they were UNTIL my gf was cooking and found them...the day before the ring appeared. She picks them up and says the last condom on the strip is still moist (which it is, I don't think that lubrication evaporates) and thinks I'm cheating, trying to hide condoms, etc.

It was really just a string of events that made me look guilty...

hatepain 09-23-2010 10:35 AM

Quote:

Hey
You're crazy bitch
But you f so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on
Nice work, I had one of those for sure...

guido 09-23-2010 10:36 AM

Hahahahhahahhahhahahaha!

Ben, you're the man. Don't trip brotha. You're young, you've got plenty of time to get it right. Play the field. You'll know when you got the right one. I met mine young, lost her, had to chase her down, but it all works out. Just live your life.

Mike (fatsac), I know you only speak from experience. You, my friend, are a genius. See you this weekend.

ottog1979 09-23-2010 10:38 AM

So you also have a (bigger) part in this. You torturing her, she torturing you... How's that game going? How long do you want to play it? You may not consciously admit this, but you're equally keeping the game going (told her about ring, came home with a girl, condoms in junk drawer same night, keeping the dialog going) at least as much as she is and feeding whatever neurotic suspicions she already has. You're in charge more than you think you are. But, it's always easier to paint it on the other person.

If you really want less drama, leave it behind and choose something else for yourself. This is really about you, not her.

Just my 2 cents.

hatepain 09-23-2010 10:43 AM

Ben, adding that last part to the eqaution I can certainly see how she is thinking what she is thinking. Tough one man. Put yourself in her position and look at it from her angle. If you found a mans ring not belonging to you and some random condoms. I knos if I came along those I'd be a good bit suspicious and I'm no where near a jealous guy.

behindtheboat 09-23-2010 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ottog1979 (Post 1635509)
So you also have a (bigger) part in this. You torturing her, she torturing you... How's that game going? How long do you want to play it? You may not consciously admit this, but you're equally keeping the game going (told her about ring, came home with a girl, condoms in junk drawer same night, keeping the dialog going) at least as much as she is and feeding whatever neurotic suspicions she already has. You're in charge more than you think you are. It's always easier to paint it on the other person.

If you really want less drama, leave it behind and choose something else for yourself. This is really about you, not her.

Just my 2 cents.

That was not new to his situation, just to this lovely thread.

behindtheboat 09-23-2010 10:47 AM

also, I think her age and the difference may be causing some of this, she's not getting younger, and may feel the competition is... and she's worried and jealous, wants to make sure things are secure or is so insecure anything will trigger something like this.

mattgettel 09-24-2010 6:38 AM

are you sure that "gay" in the flyer above doesn't mean happy? Just a bunch of dudes chillin next to each other on the beach...sounds like a gay ole' time to me.


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