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bullydog 08-13-2010 3:39 AM

Future Dad
 
Hey guys, My wife and I are going to be having our first child. The Ultrasound says the baby is about 10 weeks along. That was the most amazing experience, getting to see and hear the babys heartbeat. I have so many emotions running out of me that I just don't know how I feel but im definitely excited. I can't stop thinking about what sex it will be and what it going to be like the first time I hold him/her.. It's really stressful with all these thoughts always running through my head.

I'm sure all you dads out there are laughing at me right know because you where in my same position at one time. What advice would you give me? As of right know im just trying to support my wife through all the changes she is going threw physically and emotionally. I just can't wait for the day to come thought.

crypted1 08-13-2010 5:19 AM

Hey congrats man!!! Just wait till the little guy/gal is born, and you have that "What do we do now?" feeling.

cwb4me 08-13-2010 6:32 AM

CONGRATS ANDREW! make sure you get plenty of rest now your going to need it.LOL

wakeboardingdad 08-13-2010 7:17 AM

Andrew, when we were about to have our first child, I was thinking we could do it all on our own. I thought we would come home that weekend and have folks over for a drink and celebration. WRONG! We were tired, our son wouldn't sleep (because he wasn't getting enough to eat) and we were about to pull our hair out. Thank God my mother in law came over. She let us get a nap in, fed the kid enough and he slept "like a baby" and it was good from there own. BTW, we did not have friends over that weekend...

Here are my pointers. Accept help. You will be tired and you will need it. Listen to what your parents say (for once) at least during this time. Postpartum depression is real and is worse for some women than others. I was seriously ready to tell the wife to leave (without my boy!), at one point, until she finally accepted help from the doctor. <--- there's that help word again!!! Finally, get everything ready early. If you're going to wait to find out the sex, like we did, go ahead and accept some neutral colors for either sex. They'll be plenty of time later to specialize a room for them. Finally, finally, enjoy it. Spend some time together really taking care of one another because soon you'll have to "share".

Congrats! Congrats! Congrats! The most amazing thing about being a parent is the feeling you have when you first hold your child. You'll wonder how you could have feelings for something/someone so quickly!

08-13-2010 10:04 AM

Congrat! I have 4 all under the age of 8 years old. I still remember our first little girl when I saw her for the first time. It really will be a great day! I echo the "HELP" word. We wanted and thought we could do it all by ouselves. Well you can, you will just pull your hair out. So remember if someone offers help and you trust them, take the help. An hour of sleep, a dinner away whatever even in the first few months are priceless. Have fun with your little one, but for now get everything done. Wakedad is right, do the room and all of that now. If I were you I would also try to do something fun with you and your wife prior to baby coming. Once baby is here life changes to all about them. So, try to do something just the two of you, take some pictures to remember your "last" time away just the two of you. Those pictures are fun to look back at and wonder what you were thinking when you have 4..lol trust me we do it alot.

Congrats, being a Dad is the best thing I have ever done!

bullydog 08-13-2010 2:46 PM

Thanks guys, Like I said im really excited. I definitely want to find out the sex as soon as possible. When I found out we were going to have a baby I started working out and getting into better shape again. I'm trying to do everything I can to be physically ready. Its a little stressful at the moment because we are in the middle of opening our own business and working full time. I'm just trying my hardest to give my kids everything that I wasn't able to have. I want to be able to have enough money to buy dirt bikes or a boat to spend family time together.

Did you guys take any of the parenting classes the doctors recommended?

deuce 08-13-2010 2:55 PM

Congrats!

There is NOTHING that gives me more pride and enjoyment, than my 2 kids. Being a dad is as rewarding as anything I have ever done (there is also nothing that gives me more aggravation;))


Took the classes, felt like they were worthless.... Just my opinion....

humboldt9 08-13-2010 5:26 PM

Check my profile picture when you get a chance. That's what it's all about. Congratulations, it sounds like you are on the way to being an awesome Dad! Take the time to enjoy every minute of being around your kids because they grow like weeds.

elc 08-13-2010 5:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by humboldt9 (Post 1622005)
Take the time to enjoy every minute of being around your kids because they grow like weeds.

+1. Enjoy time with your wife too. Once the kid is here it will be difficult to spend time with just your wife.

Congrats!

jaybee 08-13-2010 8:43 PM

Congrats Andrew. I am right there with ya. We have our first one on the way. We find out the sex next week(although it was really supposed to be today but my wife wants to wait till her parents are here next week). Kudos to working out and getting in shape. I am actually getting fatter to make my wife feel better about herself as all she does is bitch and moan about how fat she is :). You can actually find out the sex a little earlier than normal for a fee ($100 here).

psych3060 08-14-2010 9:54 AM

Congrats! Not a dad obviously, but a mom of 2. You have gotten some good advice, but I say this not to offend anyone, but because each and every pregnancy/delivery experience/newborn/infant/toddler is different. Take everyone's advice with a grain of salt. I agree with Akadirt about spending time with your wife right now because the time you spend together (alone) after baby comes will not be enough. Once the baby does come though do try to make an honest effort to put your spousal relationship as a priority because it is easy to get caught in a good friends/co-parent relationship if you don't put your relationship first. Accept help when it is helpful. When people come over it is ok to ask them to help out, they won't be offended. Learn to eat with one hand or have one parent eat first and then the next because a sit down meal with both of you doesn't come until much later. Don't worry if the house/laundry and whatnot doesn't get done in the beginning.

I disagree with akadirt on one point though. It is ok NOT to listen to your parents if it doesn't feel right for you. My mom was always saying I was 100% formula fed and turned out just fine. That's great, but just because I turned out fine doesn't mean that I wasn't going to do all I could to ensure that I could nurse my kids (because believe, it doesn't just come naturally, if that is the road you want to take). She also said to give my kids a little rice cereal in a bottle to make them sleep better. Well that didn't work for me either. I love and respect my mom, but what worked for her raising me doesn't always match what works for us and our kids. Everyone eventually finds their own way in raising their kids and you will find that what works for you, doesn't work for others. People will judge, but in the end what matters most is happy baby/happy parents.

Congratulations again, parenting is the hardest most rewarding job you will ever know. There is nothing like holding your baby for the first time, but now having an older (relatively speaking) child, there is nothing like having that first reciprocal conversation. And while it is hard in the beginning with sleepless nights and constant diaper changes, you forget it all quickly until...number 2 (says the sleep deprived mama with the 7 month old who still doesn't sleep through the night)!

jaybee 08-14-2010 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psych3060 (Post 1622212)
Congrats! Not a dad obviously, but a mom of 2. You have gotten some good advice, but I say this not to offend anyone, but because each and every pregnancy/delivery experience/newborn/infant/toddler is different. Take everyone's advice with a grain of salt. !


This was the first thing our Dr. Told us.

jaegermaster 08-15-2010 8:22 PM

Andrew, I am in the same boat as you are, only my wife is 31 weeks along tomorrow. This is also my first and I am also starting my own business. Although I am in no way a pro at fathering, feel free to hit me up an we can compare notes. I just got back from spending a long weekend with my wife's family and her sister has a 4 mo. old. Making the 7 hr drive home all I could think about is how excited I am to have my own little girl. It is pretty scary, but also really exciting. As people have already said, pay more attention to your wife now than you ever have. The work she is about to go through is tougher than you ever could imagine.

Good luck and keep us posted.

buffalow 08-16-2010 8:33 AM

Also here to compare notes if need be. My son is now three and wakeboarded for the first time yesterday. We waited until we were in our late 30s to have a child which was a great decision for us. Our son is our joy and tests our patience every day. He makes us laugh and stress out all in the same hour.

All of the advice is good above. As a couple that has been together 20 years and a little selfish in our time, this has been the biggest struggle. Just not being able to do whatever you want, when you want. The wife was used to a clean car, clean house, time for work, and time for herself. That all goes away and it is hard for type A personalities to let some of that go, but you just have to do it. You have to do whatever you can to enjoy as much time as possible. It is easy to say, much harder to do.

We listen to our friends and parents, but we run the show. We don't do anything unless we want to do it. So just listen, nod your head, and than do what you want.

My parents tell me every day that our son is a ramped up version of me as a kid. So now I feel there pain in raising me.

As a final note - once the baby is here, do the little things to help. I feed, change diapers, stay up with him and all that little stuff to take a little off my wife. Now I am usually the guy that takes him outside to let her or the family eat since he is too busy to eat. Of course now I have an extra excuse to give her a day to herself by taking him on the boat :)

Good Luck. Don't stress. The answers will all come to you as things happen.

snyder 08-16-2010 8:54 AM

Andrew, Just reading your original post tells us all we need to know. You're going to be a great Father. Just relax.
If you think hearing the heartbeat is exciting, what until you feel his/her first breath on your cheek.

ointment 08-16-2010 9:24 AM

Congrats, awesome times in front of you. For the first 4 months was tough for me cause I felt like I couldnt really do any thing... seemed to be all about mommy.... but after that it was greatness.

My circle of friends just about everyone has a kid about the same age. Each parent has a complete different style of raising their kids. We have the hippies, squares, and duh style with in our group. So far all the kids are turning out okay, but then again they are all between 2 and 3 years old.

I did the oppisite as you far as carreer, I slowed down on my ladder climbing because I felt it was more important to be a father than a slave to work. IMO as long as you have food in your belly, roof over your head, and a family that loves you. what else is there? Dont get me wrong, work is important and that is why i waited before getting married or having a child but I feel being a parent and a husband is far more important than how much i can provide. Laying on the floor rolling around with your child provides far better memories than a new toy that will be forgotten in a week.

Any ways, it is a great rollercoaster and enjoy the ride. Congrats, again!!


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