Joke Thread
 

Just seeing if we can get a joke thread going on. Let's try to keep it PG13 though to keep it open.
I'll start off with a few.

A duck walks into a bar, he goes up to the bartender,
Duck: Do you have any grapes?
Bartender:Of course not, this is a bar, we have beer
Duck:*leave the bar*
The next day the duck walks back in the bar
Duck: Do you have any grapes?
Bartender:I already told you, we don't have any grapes. Come in here and ask me that again and I'll nail your bill to the bar
Duck:*leaves the bar*
The next day the duck walks back in the bar
Duck: Do you have any nails?
Bartender:Of course not, this is a bar, why would we have nails?!
Duck: Do you have any grapes?

Two guys are talking over a beer, discussing various sex positions.
The first guy says, "My favorite position is the 'rodeo' position."
"What is the 'rodeo' position, and how do you do that?" asks the second man.
The first guy explains, "Well, first you tell your wife to get on the bed on all fours, and then you do it doggy- style. Once things start to get underway, and she's really into it, you lean forward and whisper in her ear, 'Your sister likes this position too...' Then, try to hang on for 8 seconds."

CHINESE PROVERBS
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

I'm sure cwb4me can come up with some more material about jet ranger's bodily functions. Subscribed.