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-   Archive through June 07, 2004 (http://www.wakeworld.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=173943)
-   -   how to convince father to let me take boat out? (http://www.wakeworld.com/forum/showthread.php?t=172645)

ryin 05-31-2004 9:07 PM

anybody out there that has parents that let them take the boat out. if so i need you tips on how to convince them to let me take the boat. All i want to do is to take the boat out with a few friends without him, dont i deserve a chance? When we go camping he lets me take it once or twice with cousins for a few hours on the lake, but not to the river. Boating since i was born, have a boating saftey certificate since i was 13, never been in anykind of trouble or done anything real stupid, lot more expierince than some of the people out there, and being a better driver than him (says other passengers) isnt enough, i need more ways to persuade him to allow me the oppertunity.

dococ 05-31-2004 10:25 PM

Here's one idea: Why not just ask your father what it would take for him to allow you the privilege? Think of it like a contract, if he gives you a shot at taking the boat out, then you would have to do something in return, but what does he think that should be? Ask him what he thinks would be fair and reasonable for your part of the bargain. Let him think on it a little while, because you want to be mature in the negotiation, so you must give him time to come up with something meaningful and reasonable that he expects out of you in return. Bottom line: You can negotiate this just like a contract. Then when he comes up with something that he expects out of you in return, it is up to you to decide whether or not it is worth it to you. If you feel that his requirement is too harsh or too demanding, then maybe you should start saving your money to buy your own boat. If he says there is nothing you can do to earn the privilege, or if he gives you something that is so ridiculous or impossible that you could never do it, then just keep your cool, point out that you don't see how you could reasonably be expected to achieve that requirement right now. You could then switch your tactic and ask him at what point in the future might he feel you would be qualified to operate his vessel without his supervision? In other words, if he feels there is no chance you are qualified to take the boat out alone right now, then at what point WOULD you or might you be qualified in the future? Just tell him you are interested in knowing what it would take in his eyes, so that way you can start working now to achieve that goal in the future. Good luck with it. <BR> <BR>One suggestion, pointing out that you believe you are a better driver than him probably would not be an effective negotiating strategy at this stage of the game. This is America, kid... it doesn't matter who is smarter or who is better... it only matters who is bank-rolling the project.

dococ 05-31-2004 10:31 PM

One additional idea... if you have passed the boating safety course, then that is a great step. Maybe take it another step and get certified in CPR and/or basic first aid. Call your local red cross and they usually have one-day classes that you can take on a Saturday. These are all things that you can do to demonstrate your maturity and build up your "resume" or credentials as a qualified independent boat operator.

liquidforce 05-31-2004 11:54 PM

my parents let me take it whenever i want....... you just gotta show them that ur responsable and make sure not to mess up..... one of my first time my friend hit his face on his board chipped some teeth and had to get 10 stiches in his tongue. we all did the right thing and even though he got hurt it jsut showed that we were responsable. Tell them to give you one chance and make sure not to blow it.

oldirish 06-01-2004 2:59 AM

Ryan, <BR> As an older guy, and the father of a teenager, I might have a little insight into were your father is at. I also have a Searay to ride behind, and while it's not the best board boat on the market, it's the only one I have. My point is that I agree with Doc, you have to show reponsibility to get resposibility. One other thing that you might consider is that you may be the greatest guy in the world, but some of your friends who would be in the boat, may be prone to lapses in good judgement. You may have to limit your passengers to those friends that your father knows well and trusts. When he lets you take the boat out, as Danny says, "make sure not to blow it". Bring it back with a full tank of gas, and clean it up. Even if it was half full and a little dirty when you started. <BR> Hope this helps, Jon

jayc 06-01-2004 5:38 AM

Your 18, why not get your own boat?

ag4ever 06-01-2004 8:03 AM

The only time my dad let me take his boat out without him was at my grandparrent's lakehouse. That meant no towing to the lake, or launching without him. After college, he gave me a set of keys to the boat, and said i could use it whenever. I never took it out without him. It just did not feel right. That is his boat, and if something happened to it I would feel like crap. I know you really want to hang out with you friends, but keep in mind, untill you are paying for the toys, the rights still stay with the owner. <BR> <BR>Even today, I don't think I would feel right taking his boat without him, and I am 29, and own my own boat. <BR> <BR>The best thing to do, is just have a talk with him about it, and if he sayes no, then that is that. Arguing with him will get you nowhere.

jonb 06-01-2004 8:53 AM

I was in the same situation. What my dad was talking about doing after he felt comfortable with everything that had to be done when I was with him was to go with 2 friends and he still would come and he would not help at all and he would just sit back and pretend that he wasnt there. this shows that you can do everything without him. Also if you have a group of friends or a couple that always goes out with the both of you he will probably feel more comfortable about the whole situation. Good luck! And dont blow it if he lets you do it because he will never let you do it again.

ryin 06-01-2004 9:50 AM

ya, good advice, hes feels that if he lets me take out once then it would never be his again because i would always take it. i know this isnt true because when we are camping on the lake, its up to his decision to allow me or not, and i have never screwed anything up when he has let me. Another thing he doesnt like is the river, cause lots of people out there are crazy and are new boaters, but im not asking for it on the weekends, because thats when the family goes out anyway, just on a weekday or something. It does feel weird being in the boat without him, cause my whole attitude changes and im much more serious, trying to be safe and in control. I wish i could get my own boat, but im poor and paying for a boat while im in college just wont work. i would never go with the fact that others approve of my drving better as a point because that just wouldnt work aha, i will probably see how that conract idea goes down.

bbeach 06-01-2004 1:06 PM

I bought and made payments on a boat while I was in college... suck it up, get a job, make money and use YOUR own boat whenever you want to! <BR> <BR>If you buy a boat under 10K, your payments will be around $225 a month and that's chump change to own your own boat! <BR> <BR>Trust me, owning your own boat is an experience like nothing else! You'll be happy you did.

aaronlee13 06-01-2004 1:36 PM

Growing up i was in the same situation... My biggest issuse was at 15 he would let me take the boat out during the weekday only.. But his thing was I'm the only driver. Which didnt work to well cuz then i couldnt ride. <BR> <BR>I'm guessing you need to show him you know all the boating rules. Even take a boating saftly class, that will make him feel better. Then try taking it out on weekdays when its not crazy. And make sure you bring the boat back in better condition than it was in. <BR> <BR>Even detail the boat before you even ask to use it...

rodmcinnis 06-01-2004 6:31 PM

Ryan: <BR> <BR>As a father of a 17 year old that also wants to take the boat out on his own I might be able to give you a little persepective. <BR> <BR>Like you, my son wants to take the boat out on his own. Like your dad, the answer has been NO. We have a houseboat, and he can take the boat for a few hours by himself, but so far he hasn't been allowed to take the boat when I didn't have a presence. <BR> <BR>The primary reason that we haven't said YES is because of the reason that he wanted to take the boat. Let's talk a couple of different scenarios: <BR> <BR>1) "Hey dad, John, Fred and I want to go wakeboarding tomorrow, can we take the boat?" <BR> <BR>I know that John and Fred wakeboard. I have seen Fred drive and approve of his driving skill (you need two qualified drives if all three of you are going to ride!). All three of you are known to do what you say and say what you mean. Okay, there is a good chance that I will say yes. <BR> <BR>2) Hey dad, Cliff and I want to take the boat out to the river for spring break. Can I? <BR> <BR>NO! Cliff doesn't wakeboard, and can't drive the boat, so I know you won't be spending all your time riding. Spring break is when all the crazies come out. Cliff is likely to talk you into going down to where the "action" is. This is a situation just asking for trouble. <BR> <BR> <BR>Your odds of getting your father to say Yes will improve dramatically if you can present a case that makes sense. If your object is to go wakeboarding then you need a third and an alternate driver. You need to have a plan for when you will leave, where you will go, when you will get back. <BR> <BR>Your odds of getting the desired answer will decrease if your intention is to "just hang out", you can't say where you are going and don't have any plans. <BR> <BR>Start small and work up. Start with the friends your parents approve of most and go to the safest and/or closest lake available. Nevermind it sucks to ride there, you are working on building confidence. Go to the lake, ride, get home early. Make sure everthing is perfect. <BR> <BR> <BR>

puckinshat 06-01-2004 8:59 PM

I was fortunate enough when I got my owners permit, my dad let me take out the boat by myself whenever I wanted. It was all a trust issue. I never screwed up either, so he trusts me very much. I agree with everyone above as in presenting it like a contract. My contract was getting my opperators permit. I see your dad's point it not wanting it to become your boat. Once my dad wrote the check for the mastercraft he owns last spring, he hasn't been in it more than twice. I took him skiing for his 53 birthday last July and thats all he has been behind it. Just show your dad you are responsible and as Rod said, present it fairly and honestly. If you want to go boarding, say so. If you want to party, thats what school is for. Boating and drinking don't mix! Also, be glad your dad actually wants to go out in the boat with you. My dad is at the lake 3 times a year. Memorial Day, July 4th, and Labor day. Im there more in a week than he is in a summer.

malibuboarder75 06-01-2004 9:36 PM

tell him you will pay for gas. he doesnt have to sit in the boat all day. and earn respect by showing responsibility.

norcalrider 06-01-2004 10:10 PM

Rod nailed it on the head... <BR> <BR>I would have your 2nd or 3rd whoever will also drive prove that they have met the standards as well as proven themselves to your father in person. <BR> <BR>

06-01-2004 10:22 PM

SOLUTION... i dont feel like reading all of these so someone may have said it, but just tell your dad that you really would like to be able to take your boat out by yourself and convince him to go out in it with you just one on one and show him that you can do what needs to be done. Make sure you've got all of your equipment even if he doesnt, like a fire extinguisher and all of that. Show him you can dock it, pull someone, and keep things in order. And like Rod said get your dad to take your buddy out too, but after its just you and your dad. Good Luck <BR> <BR>(Message edited by atom_ant on June 01, 2004)

ryin 06-02-2004 8:47 AM

he knows i am responsible, and i have taken the boat out alone many times just not to the river, im not looking to go ride, just to teach others how too. This is why i dont know how to convince him because i have never screwed anything up while boating. im definetly gonna pay for my own gas. He is lucky to have me otherwise the boat would not be clean, organinzed, waxed, etc. i do all that stuff, i need some kinda proof that will show him that other parents let their kids take their boat out once in a while, and that it would not become my boat if i ake it once.

jonb 06-02-2004 9:00 AM

ryan i am the same way in that id did everything as well, since last fall my dad decided to be on a power trip and i moved out, now all he does is kiss my ass to try to get me to go to the lake and board(or do everything so he can just sit back and do nothing). On sunday he went out for the first time ever w/out me, i havent heard yet but im sure it was hell for him. they are also going to the lake for a week in 2 weeks and im sure that that will be hard for him as well. I would never let my son(if i ever have one) to take the boat to the river as well. Why cant you just go to some local lake? Why does it have to be the river? he probably knows or has heard of what goes on there and that is why he wont let you take it tothe river.

jonb 06-02-2004 9:01 AM

sorry about the river thing i thought it was the colorado river and than i looked at your profile.

rodmcinnis 06-02-2004 12:56 PM

Colorado River + spring break = BAD NEWS! <BR> <BR>A year ago, at the age of 16, my son and his best friend wanted to take our boat (brand new 2003 Super Air Nautique) from San Jose, California to Lake Havasue for spring break. <BR> <BR>I at least let him continue the fantasy for a while, had him map out the route to get there, estimate the time it would take, etc. That way it wasn't quite so bad when I eventually said NO. <BR> <BR>

supersport 06-02-2004 1:15 PM

doctor octagon has the right idea. Start off with a safe boating course.

xtremrider 06-04-2004 12:21 PM

Do the same thing i did and show him that you can get girls on the boat at anytime, and also show up his boat driving skill. here is a hint learn to perallel park the boat, he will be impressed <BR>

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