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WakeWorld Discussion Board » >> Boats, Accessories & Tow Vehicles Archive » Archive through March 18, 2009 » Convincing the Wife to Be (long) « Previous Next »
By Andy Thaman (andytr32) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 5:42 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
I've been lurking on the forums for a couple of years now reading and researching boats & everything related to wakeboarding. I'm very impressed with all of the knowledge and info here (as well as some amazing riders).

Here is my dilemma that I thought I may be able to get some help with, many of you may have gone through this: convincing my fiance that we need a wake boat.

We are getting married in September and my plan is to buy a boat febuary-april if 09. Her response is maybe in 10 years or so!! No way I can wait that long. My plan is to save $15k in my boat fund. I'm 1/3 of the way there and have only been saving for 3 months.

My arguments:
* Parent's own a lake house 2.5 hrs a way
* No need for a tow vehicle, parent's have a truck for launching their 23' sea ray
* Parent's have a spare spot in their garage at the lake house
* Liquidate $10k in the boat purchase, finance an additional $15k-$20k over 5 yrs. Low payments
* Still have $5k in the boat fund for maintenance, insurance,etc
* Parent's boat limits # of friends down at lake
* Parent's boat is an I/O, plus it's my parent's, I'm 26 time to move on
* On lake weekends we never get on the water before 11, with my own boat I can get up whenever and then meet by parent's boat at the party cove later in the day.
* Better wakeboarding, surfing, play boat
* No need to burn my parent's fuel towing riders
* Wedding will already be paid for

Her Arguments:
* Planning kids in ~ 2.5 years, need to save money
* Parent's have a boat, no need for us to own one
* More important things to spend money on (I own a house, car is paid for, no cc debt) not sure where she is going with this one
* She has ~$100k in med school loans, but starts making salary in 3 yrs, interest is deferred until next year (we have $10k in investments to hopefully offset the interest)
* Not into boating as much as I am (however I think she enjoys it much more than she says she does, once I get her doing it more she will be hooked)

Can anyone explain why we should not own a boat? I know this forum will be biased toward my opinion but I'm open to anything.

Our combined salary is currently ~$100k, obviously when she becomes an attending doctor her's will jump, leaving plenty of money to save for kid's (and a better wakeboat down the road ;) ). I think my first goal should be to get her more into wakeboarding, she currently is a fairly good skier.

Any input is appreciated, thanks for reading.

Andy

Pic for clicks (my other hobby is cars):
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v385/andyr32/R.jpg

(Message edited by andytr32 on June 06, 2008)

 
By Patrick Fort (pfort) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 5:52 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Andy, here is how I justify it. You only live once and you are not getting any younger. Don't regret later in life not doing the things you want to do now. If you are young and financially able, and owning a boat and being on the lake is what you enjoy, do it! My wife enjoys wakeboarding as much as I do, but it took me getting a boat to get her involved. She is finishing up her masters in RN and will be a Nurse Prac. after Dec, so lately I have been on the Lake more then her. It will also help if you have a good group of riders to help with cleanup and gas each weekend. That is my 2 cents!
 
By MidWestTex (midwesttex) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 5:53 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Owning a boat will never make financial sense. If you are a boater then you should own a boat and make it work. I had an old 88 Nautique and kept talking about getting a new boat, finally my wife was tired of hearing me talk about it and agreed to look at new boats. Once I got her on a test drive she realized how nice a new boat would be. One argument I made was comparing it to a car. My truck is old but paid for, we got a boat because the truck just drives me to work, a boat puts a smile on my face and provides hours of enjoyment. Also boating is a great family activity. Good luck convincing your wife. One other item you could throw in is that depreciation on new inboard boats has been relatively low, manufactures keep raising prices every year. However that could change with the current economy.
 
By Jason (loonytik) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 5:54 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
I hear that song playing in the background...

"Another one bites the dust...Another one bites the dust!"

Seriously though, I foresee problems in the future and I think it will become a source of strife between the two of you. Money is the number one issue couples fight about and the cause of many a divorce. You will see though, once you are married and kids come along, your priorities will change. You may not think so now, but they will. That boat wont be so important anymore.

Get on the boards in your local area and find the "Got a ride, need a ride" section. There are tons of people with boats that will give you a pull.

 
By Bill (gangster_wake) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 6:02 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
if you dont get it now and you have kids first..you'll be waiting longer than 10 yrs. Like Patrick said, You only live once and you are't getting any younger.. I'm from nky too. what lake are you talking about?
 
By A-dub (behindtheboat) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 6:10 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Not trying to throw a stick in the spokes but if she is already planning on kids within 2.5 years before ya'll are even married, she has a whole lot more planned out, and from my observations of women, they like things to go as planned. Buy the boat while it's still YOUR money, before it becomes "Ours".
 
By Peter T (deltawake) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 6:10 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
IMO, having a boat is the very best way to raise a close family. My only regret is that we didn't get a boat sooner. We got our first boat when our oldest was 10. We now put 500 hours per year on our boat(s) Get a boat. Raise the kids on the boat. Get them started young. You'll never regret it.
 
By chasin7 (chaser) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 6:14 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
you said she is going to start making better salary in 3 years, but wants kids in 2.5 years too? Tell her kids can wait, boating can't! You are only young once!
 
By Andy Thaman (andytr32) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 6:26 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Good suggestions here, thanks everyone.

The lake is Lake Cumberland. Generally not a very good wakeboarding lake however, my parent's place is right by the Cumberland River. It's perfect in width with high cliffs on all sides. If you get up early and head up the river you can ride all day, even on holiday weekends.

My main argument is that I would like to have a boat for 2 seasons before we have kids. If we have to sell and go boatless for a while until the kids get a little older so be it.

I have expressed that a boat is a great way to raise a family and have good together time.

Loonytik, why do you forsee problems in the future? Once married, we are having a joint account for all the bills, house payments etc that a portion of our direct deposits go into. We will also have our own checking accounts. My account is where we will source 100% of boating funds. She will be making a crap ton more money than me so she will have majority of the say where the spare money will go. Finally, I don't really need a pull, my parent's own a boat that I am welcome to.

A-dub - one of the things usually discussed before marriage is children: how many, when, etc. This is not her plan it's our plan. I prefer not to be 60 when my kids are 20.

Good point that a boat never makes financial sense but it's the fun factor and good times that offset and over come that part.

Overall, if I put my money where my mouth is and save up, I should be able to get her on board. Anyone know where I can buy ramen noodles in bulk :-)

I'm still proving financial responsibility to her since I am a spender and she is a saver. I pay 100% of the bills currently and still save.

 
By Stanfield (stanfield) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 6:28 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
I'm glad there aren't so many set in stone "plans" in my marriage. I have no advice other than maybe slow down a bit and just go with the flow from time to time. I'd be stressed to the max if my life was so planned out for me.
 
By Andy Thaman (andytr32) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 6:36 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Stanfield, good point but my wife and I are both planners. I have to think things through and can only "live in the moment" during vacations and lake weekends. Not really sure what you mean by slow down, I guess it's because my perspective is different. I successfully used my college years and first 2 years in the real world to live it up with minimal responsibility.
 
By Dante (hal2814) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 6:45 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
That "more important things to spend money on" argument is a bunch of crap and it always is. The argument is similar to those girls who claim they're just not ready to see someone right now. If the right person comes along, it'll magically be the right time again. Your wife-to-be just doesn't want to spend money on a boat. Period. I'm guessing you're being overly optimistic on her eventually warming up to it.

My wife was brainwashed by my camper salesman of a father-in-law from a very young age on how you'd much rather buy a camper than a boat. She's doesn't particularly choose to be out on the boat and probably never will but she goes with the family and we do have fun out there. At least I don't have to try too hard to convince her to get a camper :-)

Why don't you two compromise and get a nice $10K-$12K boat? There are plenty of Sunsports, Sunsetters, and Sport Nautiques out there in that price range right now and you're probably buying used anyways with a $30K original budget. You can avoid any long term debt and given your rate of saving for the boat, you can plan together how to save for the future. When your life situation stabilizes, trade up then. Just make sure you are specific about what conditions constitute a good time to trade up.

As a side note, unless you don't have health insurance saving for the costs of child raising isn't going to do much good. You'll have a few big initial expenses but nothing a couple thousand can't cover. The rest is going to be lifestyle-changing regular expenses that only go up over time. Everyone says babies are expensive but toddlers are more expensive and grade schoolers are more expensive than toddlers and preteens are more expensive than that.

 
By Preston Hall (phall925) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 6:50 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
There are alot of great point made here. First of all I have figured out being married for almost 2 years, if there is a relationship problem one or both parties will use something like a boat or money as an excuse. I know alot of non wealthy people that are completely happy with their marriage. So don't buy into this c$%p that money or boats will cause problems. When I was in college I bought an 88 antique, my girlfriend at the time now my wife was sooooooooooooo pissed. I told her the "Not your money not you business and don't tell my parents". I had the boat for two years then sold it when I graduated (because my parents had a boat MC 205V at their lake house and we used that one so no need for another boat). I was still able to save money during the boat ownership to make sure that she got what she wanted (diamond ring). I feel as long as you can still provide all the necessary financial needs to your fiancé (remember she is not your wife yet) then go for it.

Also I totally agree with the boat being a great way to bring the family together.

P

 
By Stanfield (stanfield) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 6:53 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
I'm with Dante. It is hard for anyone to warm up to the idea of a 30-50k wakeboard boat if you aren't super into riding. My first ride was a 93 Mastercraft 205 with a tower that set me back 12k and throws the same wake as my current boat at a fraction of the price.
 
By Andy Thaman (andytr32) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 6:53 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
I tried showing her some cheaper boats, a sunsetter & prostar in the $10k-$15k range. Her response was that she would prefer something a little nicer with more room. She continued by saying: "In 10 years, all of the really nice boats today will be highly feasible"

I'll definitely be buying used. I've seen huge depreciation in my riding area. All in all, new boats just don't make a lot of sense to me.

 
By Stanfield (stanfield) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 6:58 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
It sounds like to me you'll have 15k saved up in 6 more months so I'd just go out and buy the boat that I wanted and keep it at a friends house.
 
By Andy Thaman (andytr32) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 7:02 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Preston, good points there. However, when the time comes to buy a boat she will be my wife. I'd love to find a nice MC 205 with around 500 hours. Perfect starting boat.

I'm not to concerned about money & toys being used to fuel/support arguments. We are both fairly diplomatic and tend to focus on the real root cause of the disagreement. I'll never let money drive our relationship in any way. We both appreciate everything we have and could definitely be happier with less. It just so happens that we have both been fortunate to have very generous parent's to support our education.

 
By Preston Hall (phall925) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 7:06 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
I think you should go for it. A 205V would be a great boat. Parents had one now we have a new VLX. Your wife will come around. Remember it is easier to get forgiveness than permission
 
By Andy Thaman (andytr32) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 7:13 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Haha, like the forgiveness / permission statement.

Plus, I just dropped $1k on suits so I can look nicer at weddings, our rehearsal dinner, honeymoon, etc. Now may be a good time to use that as leverage.

 
By Jason Lanier (dubwake21) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 7:14 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Get some pulls this summer and get her up for the first time. She will come around.
 
By Andy Thaman (andytr32) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 7:16 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Jason, definitely on the to do list. Gotta get her up next weekend. Her lake time is limited this summer due to wedding crap & she is preparing for a huge exam in September. The crap doctors in training go through is friggin unreal.

Actually, another thing she would actually love and find easier is wake surfing. Parent's have a friend with a 22' supra that we need to hook up with and get her out there. If I get her hooked on that, we will immediately need and inboard.

(Message edited by andytr32 on June 06, 2008)

 
By Sam (wake1823) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 7:20 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Your makin decent coin especially considering what part fo the coutnry you live in, my advice; dont; buy an older used boat.....the first time it breaks and you haev to sprign for the repair....yrou gonna get the " I told you so". Buy late model/new under warranty...and enjoy!
 
By Doug Goins (dwakesetter) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 7:21 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Andy,

I rent wakeboard boats on Norris lake in TN. It is not a bad drive from Cumberland. Bring her down for a weekend and show her the difference between a real wakeboard boat and your parents boat.

http://norriswakeboardsandinboards.com/

 
By Andy Thaman (andytr32) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 7:27 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Doug,

I was looking at your site 2 weeks ago and I think that is an excellent idea. I think it's awesome that you all rent those. Only problem is that I don't think we'll be able to make it down to norris this summer. If I don't already have a boat by next season, I will be sure to get down and rent from you all.

Sam, I am a little worried about repairs for an older boat but I know a lot of mechanics so hopefully it wont be too bad. Ideally, I want a boat in the $20k-$30k range but as others have mentioned, it might be better to start off small. It will only make me appreciate a nicer boat that much more.

 
By Sue (malibu) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 7:43 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Andy, teach her to wakesurf! Then she will be hooked and you can only surf behind a wakeboat. I am the one who talked my husband into a boat. I have always wanted one since my first pull on 2 skis as a kid. We started with a Malibu Sportster LX and I wakeboarded behind it for 5 years. After one wakesurf ride behind a friends V drive, I had to have a v drive! We bought a Sanger V210 and we love it. Now that I am 47 I spend all my rides behind the boat surfing. My husband and I have shared our best times on the water with friends. I am always anxious for the next ride.
 
By Luke (lukeduke95) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 7:54 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Might want to talk to your lady and re-run the numbers. I see one problem right away-

* Planning kids in ~ 2.5 years, need to save money

* She has ~$100k in med school loans, but starts making salary in 3 yrs, interest is deferred until next year (we have $10k in investments to hopefully offset the interest)

You'll be having kids before she finishes med school. That will get expensive quick as I'm sure she'll be off work for a while. She doesn't want to be a stay at home does she? DR. Mom... Money well spent...

 
By Jon (jon4pres) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 7:55 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Andy,

I was in a similar position as you. I was getting the pressure to buy an engagement ring and I was wanting a boat. I was planning on buying the ring but found the boat I wanted first so I bought it. I still get the guilt trip every now and again about how I chose a boat over her but you know what. It is worth it. Both of us really enjoy the boat now.

I started cheap. I bought what I could pay cash for and am glad I did. I would not want to be boatless but I also would not want to be in a position where I had to make a huge boat payment every month with the possibilities of kids and other big expenses in our recent future.

 
By Stephen Higgins (srh00z) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 8:00 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Sue's suggestion is pretty solid, I weighed in by sending you a personal message. Good luck with your quest, boat ownership is great 90% of the time (the other 10% can be a real bear though).
 
By Doug Goins (dwakesetter) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 8:10 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Andy,

Thanks,

I have used a guy named Brandon to sell alot of my boats in the past and he is just north of Lexington. If you give him a call and tell him what you are looking for he is really good at finding inboard boats. http://www.centralkyinboards.com/boats.asp?Type=Wakeboard

 
By Andy Thaman (andytr32) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 8:11 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Luke, sorry I wasn't very clear, let me clarify.

My fiance finished med school 3 years ago, her loan is left over. She is working as a resident and only makes about 20% of what her actual salary will be when she becomes fully boarded. Also, no she does not want to be a stay at home mom. At the very minimum, she will work part time. The part time salaries for radiology are still fairly sickening. However, the deserve every penny they make.

Sue, thanks for the info, wakesurfing has to help my proposal.

 
By Andy Thaman (andytr32) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 8:13 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Doug,

Awesome, thanks for the link and contact

 
By Trevor Gleadhill (trevorg7) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 8:36 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
For those that have kids will understand this; Once you have kids, time and money are no longer yours. Think about this for a moment. Kids are very dependant and require financing.

I've got 11 and 9 year olds and from diapers as a newborn to the traveling soccer teams now they require time and money. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing better but its a fact.

I would not buy a boat at this time which would create a huge liability. You have access to boat, use it. I can only think if your scheduling kids in a few years and then your wife becomes an attending you two will have NO time for a few years. Don't buy a boat now that will sit for a few years and depreciate.

Just my .02.

T

 
By billy d williams (billy2603) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 8:39 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
You were already smart enough to marry a doctor - I'm sure you're also smart enough to buy the right boat for the right price and have family money left.

I'm a little further away from the wedding point than you, but I have made it known to my girlfriend how important being out on the water and raising my kids on a boat are to my life. If it is important to you, then she'll understand (unless its not THAT important). Enjoy your life without kids while you still can - after that you won't have anything close to the same amount of free time.

I also have to disagree with you saying that since she'll be making a lot more money that she'll have more say in using it. Ask a lot of guys you know if that's how it works when they make more money than their wives.

 
By coinless (bruce) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 8:52 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
3 rules to live by. Always pay cash for toys. Never finance anything with a motor. Always buy used.
Enjoy the boat you have access to and listen to your wife. Make decisions like this together and you'll both enjoy it more. That way it won't be your boat, it will be our boat.

Buy a used boat and upgrade it as you can afford to. Eventually you can work you way up to the one you want.

B.O.A.T. stands for Break Out Another Thousand.

 
By Kyle (kylek306) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 9:04 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
my whole childhood was brought up on a boat. I'm so much closer to my family then just about any of my friends, and it is all circled around all the time i spent with them at the lake. I wouldn't change it for the world, if she wants to start a family and have activies that are family oriented, there is nothing better than a boat. Just my .02
 
By Erik (etakk7) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 9:05 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
I was in a similar situation and the way I look at it, if you stive to be "good" at watersports, you need an inboard boat (yes I owned an I/O prior to my inboard). I'd rather have a boat that can do that in the prime of my physical abilities than when I am old and out of shape and can't do the things that the boat allows.
 
By matt (2onboone) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 9:09 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
hey andy let your radiologist wife get a job with a teleradiology service i.e. nighthawk
and let them set her up so she can read studies from home
have a friend who read wia satelite link from his laptop from his boat in the virgin islands
radiology is the way to go

 
By Patrick Fort (pfort) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 9:23 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Andy, has your wife considered locum tenens work after she finishes residency? Rates for Radiology are $1600-2200 per 8 hour day and that does not include OT or call rates. Feel free to have her contact me as I have been in the industry for 6 years and I am very knowledgeable in the current radiology job market. The Tele-rad side is very competitive at this time and there are a few large companies taking most of the bulk of the work.
 
By Justin Houston (adrenalindustries) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 9:37 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
my advice would be careful because you are going to get married in sept... you do not want something already to pull you a part... I hope that the boat makes you closer but at the same time it might not. I would look into maybe finding a friend to go in with you on the boat... help with payments that way its way cheaper.. maybe she would feel more comfortable with the finance side.
 
By Bruce Mac (brucemac) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 9:45 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
i have a couple suggestions.

first find a time when she's in a good mood and tell her you want to talk about it. calmly explain to her how important this is to you. have her let you explain it fully and make sure she's listening. don't let her interupt. this may take a few conversations. if it gets heated or emotional, drop it and wait for another time. keep at it.

then my next suggestion would be to hunt down the best rate you can find at a local credit union and make sure you qualify. then do the math. run the numbers and write it all down, including different scenarios and different price points. i got 4.99% with 20% down a couple months back. i had been wanting a new MC for the last year or so, but we bought a new house last year, had our 3rd kid (yes, don't get me started) so i realized buying ~$55-60K boat just wasn't going to work out this season. that's when i began to compromise a bit. i hunted down the rates, did the math and showed her that for only a few bucks more a month, we could have a bigger, better, badder boat if we bought used. then i laid it all out in front of her. there was some back and forth, but we finally came to an agreement on our 2nd boat a couple months back. then the tough part was finding the right boat.

don't give up. if it's important to you, it should be important to her. just maybe not as much

/edit, i should add that if you do get your way, make sure she's genuine about it. you don't want her resenting the boat, the payment, etc. and on the flipside you don't want to feel like a total turd when you bring your new ride home.

good luck!

(Message edited by brucemac on June 06, 2008)

 
By Nickbot (nickbot) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 10:00 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
sounds like her priorities are not the same as your. this will most likely cause you more problems in the future when you want to go to your parents' lakehouse for the weekend and she wants to go to her friend's wedding. maybe consider buying a boat and canceling the wedding
 
By Art (rallyart) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 10:06 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Andy,
A boat never makes financial sense. It's a lifesyle choice.
That's the decision to make. If you want the financial one: Spend what ever you want when your house is paid for. If you want the experience one: Your view of the world will be remarkably different when you have kids, and your wife will always be at least nine months ahead in figuring it out.

Now, there is a saying about Ferraris that might apply. "If it's a choice between your wife and the Ferrari? Keep the wife and you never have a Ferrari. Keep the Ferrari and you can always find a new wife."

 
By billy d williams (billy2603) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 10:07 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Whoah... are you comparing used wakeboats to Ferraris???

Actually, it sounds like his #1 priority is his fiance. He is just looking for the best way to convince her - not a her vs boat situation.

 
By kvoman (kvoman) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 10:10 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
You're not going to be filling up that jar with any coins after the wedding if you're insisting on your way!!!

Spend a few hundred dollars and get a couple boards (yours and hers). Bump a ride with some local riders, get her excited and into the sport first and see where it goes next summer.

Here in NorCal, $100k a year between husband and wife gets you a rental apartment and a decent car. Don't even think about getting a house, boat, kids, nice cars!!! If you have kids, it gets worst!!!

Also, never say never about your wife not wanting to stay home. I have a lot of friends and former co-workers that said the same thing and ended up staying at home because they love being an at home mom with their kids. They were all professionals too (Engineers, Doctors, Nurses, IT, Accountants, etc.).

(Message edited by kvoman on June 06, 2008)

 
By tampawake (tampawake) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 11:06 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
I was going to say good gawd if she is out of residency in 3 years as a general radiologist she will kill it. Get whatever boat you want. Hell if she goes interventional or something even more. Good job landing a Rad. They are the cream of the med school crop.
 
By Sean Ellis (h2oproaccessories) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 11:36 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
you better purchase the boat before you get married.... that's what I did. Pissed her off... but once she started to ride and see how much fun we were having... were on our second one and have only been married for a year...
 
By Ron Zap (zapisor) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 1:09 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Pissing her off before the wedding will be a test of how strong your relationship is...

Someone once told me I love my boat and I sleep with my wife

Seriously,

Boating = the best family time

 
By Nick (bird_dog0347) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 1:30 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Let her pick the colors... It will make the family closer though, best way to spend your summers and I intend to raise my baby on the lake.
 
By HeHateMe (hamkj) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 1:32 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
I don't know how anyone can actually make a comment on this situation without seeing a picture of the woman in question.
 
By Richard (nauty) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 1:42 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
I had a boat and payment before I got married and my then fiancé didn't have a problem with it. However, after getting married she all of a sudden viewed the boat as an unnecessary expense. The first year of marriage was a bit of a challenge being that I love wakeboarding and the water while my wife has zero interest in it. Over the years she has at least begun to understand that having a boat makes me happy and is part of who I am. Had I not had a boat before getting married it would have been a tough sell to get one afterwards.

There is a fine line in regards to how she views boating in general. You need to make sure that she doesn’t decide to hate boating just to make a point. If she is going to hate boating it should be because she truly hates it and the water, not because it’s just something that you spend your time and money on that she has no interest in and doesn’t agree with. My wife isn’t a fan of water in general, but she really came to hate boating more so because she felt it competed with her for my time. That was just a typical immature attitude that a lot of new wives will take about any hobby their new husbands may have. They have an image in their mind of how marriage will be and if there’s a big ugly boat in there screwing up that image they will not only hold it against you, but the boat as well.

They will mellow out after a while when they realize that the fairytale marriage they envisioned is just that, a fairytale. Like I said earlier, my wife now realizes that boating is not a fad for me; it’s part of who I am. Now she is 100% cool with us having a boat. She still doesn’t come out with me on it, but at least she’s not begging me to sell it anymore. In fact, we’re on our 3rd boat since getting married. One of my points below is about the safety aspect of a new boat. This argument helped me to upgrade from a direct drive to a v-drive. Never under estimate the over protective nature of women!

Now then, if your girl is already giving you a hard time and you’re not even married yet, trust me when I say that her opinion about the subject isn’t going to improve anytime soon. In fact, she will most likely be more adamant about the subject after she says “I Do”. True, 10 years from now when she’s raking in the dough the financial aspect of her objection may not be there, but I have a gut feeling that there will be plenty of others to replace it.

So you have a couple of choices. The first one (and the one I would choose) would be to go ahead and buy a boat now before you get married. Yeah she’ll bitch about it, but hey, you’re single and free to do as you wish (at least until September). If that option doesn’t sound good then you need to start tackling her objections one by one….

1) Your parent’s boat will not be as safe for kids as an inboard. That prop right underneath your kid’s feet on an I/O looks pretty dangerous to me. Wouldn’t it be safer for the kids if you had an inboard and the prop was up under the boat?

2) Sure in ten years you’ll have more disposable income, but the boats of ten years from now will be pushing $100K. I bought my Supra SSV three years ago for $36,900 out the door. Today that same boat will cost you $55,000 plus.

3) Ten years from now gas will be $10 a gallon and you won’t even be able to afford to use a boat.

4) Having a boat is freedom. I could ride just as often as I do now by posting up for pulls, but then I would be at the mercy of someone else’s schedule. Having my own boat means that I can take a family boating trip where and whenever I want to. Does she really want her in-laws with her every time she goes to the lake?

5) I have two kids of my own and I can tell you that the expense of having kids does not go down after ten years. It only gets more expensive. Therefore, her argument is not valid. If there was ever a time to buy a boat it is now while you don’t have kids.

Good Luck!

 
By Ian Grist (daxxruckus) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 2:08 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
I'm not married, nor will be any time soon, but I've learned a lot about women from you veterans just by reading this thread. Luckily, my gf is an awesome wakeboarder, and loves me having a boat just as much as I love having one. If anything, I'd like to bring her in to help me with the boat payment ;) At least she helps with everything and is super supportive of it.
 
By Ron Zap (zapisor) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 2:09 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Tell her that the high frequency vibrations associated with I/O boats reduces sperm counts and you will be sterile within 3 yrs.
 
By tj (tj_in_kc) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 2:16 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
man, i'd dump this chick. you don't need all these rules and plans for kids at x date and time. sounds like her planning your life out for you.

also, if you are already talking about her making all the decisions cuz she will make more money she is going to ruin you life. you are talking like a sissy.

i would cut her loose before you ruin the rest of your life.

and buy the boat you've always dreamed of...

 
By Ian Grist (daxxruckus) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 2:28 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Thanks for the advice Tom Leykis!
 
By Bruce Mac (brucemac) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 2:41 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
lol ron zap!!!
 
By trace (trace) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 2:44 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Marriage is all about compromise. Honestly, it sounds like she she wants to be in charge, and it also sounds like you're going to let her be in charge. You are half of the relationship, regardless of your income difference.

If you can afford it with "your" money, I say buy a nice $15k used boat whether she likes it or not. If you buy right, a simple repair here and there is NOTHING compared to a monthly payment.

 
By Ryan Lacefield (26lacefield) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 2:52 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
just do what my dad does everytime my mom tells him not to buy something. he just goes out and buys it hahaha. she'll get over it if you just bring it home.
 
By Matt Adams (duramat) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 2:53 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
When I found out my friend had cancer and that his 6 kids were about to lose their dad, that was the defining moment that I was going to pay the price and try and start some wonderful family memories for my kids and how much fun dad was. My kids are from 4 mos. to 8 years old and they have a blast on the boat! Worst financial but The best dang decision we have made.

We waited 5 years till we had our kids and when it happened we thought why did we wait so long? Weve had a blast, and yes like mentioned before....They do get more expensive as they get older. Dont belive me, go price out an Optimus Prime for Xmas, you cant just keep giving them chew toys every year.

Good luck buddy, I hope you get it. Id throw in "I'll even clean the bathroom from here on out!"

 
By Kirk (kirk) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 3:03 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Get your parents to buy a new 23' inboard and tell them you will take care of it for them...
 
By JPhillips (speakersox) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 3:08 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Buy the boat and then tell her. There is nothing wrong with sleeping on the couch, I do it all the time.
 
By Nick Tomsyck (sidekicknicholas) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 3:33 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
just do it and dont tell her until its bought.

there will be a fight, but if she is the one it will be fine.

 
By kvoman (kvoman) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 4:03 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
She will be raking in the $$$, working long hrs, and you're home wakeboarding. Yeah, that's nice!!!

I wouldn't mine that at all

 
By Bevan (stxr_racer) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 4:06 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Andy, tell her you won't marry her unless you can get the boat. Seriously just work together with her and do everything YOUR way! Maybe you should marry Sue?

(Message edited by stxr_racer on June 06, 2008)

 
By Chris Walker (redsupralaunch) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 6:50 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Andy. I strongly suggest you get the boat you want before you get married. Im pretty sure she will accept with no problems. Quit asking mother may I questions. Just do it and suprise her

Now here is how not to catch any crap about it. Spend a couple of hours of gathering all the old pics of you and your dad in the boat. Seriously sit down with your dad and talk about some of the pic and remember how great it was. Then tell your bride how much you want to be that kind of DAD. She will melt. No problem.

Im 45 now I wouldnt trade a million dollars for those memories with my kids.

 
By Bill K (bill_airjunky) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 7:12 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Lots of great advice in this thread for a new family man / boat owner. I agree with most of it.... buy a late model used boat, buy before you get married & have kids, etc. The fact is that plans change over time. If you think it's tight now, just wait.

Getting a boat & planning my life, family time, weekends & vacations around it have been the best thing for my family. I never would have gotten married as young as Andy is. Everyone does it, and most of them are divorced within 10 yrs. And I don't care to be in that statistic. And the fact is that if my fiance isn't into boating, then I'm not sure I'm willing to give up that part of my life to be with her.
Harsh maybe. But then again, reality can be too.

 
By Cody (cbraden) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 7:21 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
It's always easier to ask for forgiveness than permission!
 
By clubmyke (clubmyke) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 8:13 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Convincing the Wife... HA HA HA !!!!!

dude she owns your a$$.. she has you convinced over kids in 2 1/2 years...

i would really think about what your doing.

newly married + babies - wife = no boat/no riding. she will resent you for itUpload

 
By RidinNSippi (sippi) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 8:59 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
wow...first of all everybody saying you are going to have problems down the line, or "dump this chick"...those sound like comments coming from either an unhappily married, or single person. We don't know his fiance', nobody can forsee future problems, everyone is different. I'm kind of in the same "boat" as you...I am 25 and recently married. Our financial roles are reversed though as I own my own business and she is a teacher. I grew up on the water and could not see life without a boat. my wife was hesitant with everything as well...but if you get a good financial plan, you'll be alright. especially if you don't have a car payment. the majority of married couples will start out with 2 car payments. I didn't have one either as my truck is paid for but my wife has one. so basically I justified it as the boat being my "car payment." by the way...we have a 1 1/2 year old son...its not as bad as you think. and he loooves being out on the boat! if its something that really means a lot to you, and you explain that to her, she'll understand and a compromise will begin. by the way on a compromise...start out by wanting a brand new xstar or something...then when you settle at the 30k boat she'll think she got a good bit of the compromise in her favor ;)
 
By Alex Murry (tripleup) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 11:00 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
You have a lot more planned out then me I bought a an 05 wakesetter when I was still in college on a 30 yr loan (didnt tell my parents) and got married a couple of months later! I have now refinanced for a shorter term, make over six figures, and have equity in the boat (I think?) You only live once and so do your knees. Go buy it they forgive (wives), MINE DID!

(Message edited by tripleup on June 06, 2008)

 
By KevinL (kevin_lsv23) on Friday, June 06, 2008 - 11:48 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
I see a big math problem. How will she be having kids in 2.5 years and be making big money in 3? Sounds like she wants to "test run" the marriage for 2 to 3 years while you support her and help pay off her debt and then if you follow her rules she might keep you.

RUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNN!

 
By 882001 (882001) on Saturday, June 07, 2008 - 4:37 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
if you take out a 30 year loan on a boat that means you cannot afford it. i did a 15 year on my house.
i think the suggestions about either an older 210 or a 205 hull are good ones. pay cash and be done with it. cant fight about a paid for boat. cost nothing but insurance and gas, per month

 
By Cliff (ord27) on Saturday, June 07, 2008 - 7:48 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Andy
think this one through!

I'm not so sure that in the long run this will be about money.

I bought a brand new 1996 Mastercraft Prostar 205 around the time my first kiddo was born.
we loved the boat....but with both of us working and running the house and having a rugrat, the wife's energy was not always primed for the lake.

I tried to convince her that we should keep the boat even if it didn't get used much.....as it would be paid for by the time the kiddo(s) turned into jr Wade Cox(s).....

along came kiddo #2......my thirst for being on the water led to some poor decisions on my part (like being at the lake while the kids were at daycare and the wife was at work)
.......her need for the water wasn't there at that time

we sold the boat

I spent the next few years explaining my desire to raise the family as a boating family
....we set a goal to have another boat no later than when my youngest turned 8 (no restriction on an earlier purchase)

bought a new 2005 Malibu 21' XTi
discovered that I no longer needed to ride the slalom and traded that boat in for a 2007 VLX

wife is happy, kids wakeboard, daddy is happy

for us, it wasn't about the money....it was more about time and passion (it just took the wife a bit longer to reach that level)

woo hoo

 
By clubmyke (clubmyke) on Saturday, June 07, 2008 - 7:56 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Andy,

I think your missing the point.

You have a smart strong willed woman on your hands (btw, when she is through medical school,she will have 2x's the education that you have and depending on her medical degree/ specialty, she will make anywhere from $175k to $300k a year.

While this is great(ie smart educated woman-chances are she comes from a great family), what you want and can do (ie power) will be second to hers.

though on paper, i do have to say her plan is logical and practical. however, the kids and medical school at the same time is really hard and not reccomended (it will test your relationship). your plan will work but isnt optimal (the both of you are looking for different things).

i would really hesitate about getting married before the age of 30

disclaimer- married at the age of 24 and divorced at the age of 41.

 
By RidinNSippi (sippi) on Saturday, June 07, 2008 - 12:19 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
man how in the world does anybody here think they know what is going to happen or that their relationship is going to struggle? none of yall know their relationship or anything. the bottom line this decision is going to have to be between you and your fiance' (future wife), I'd take the advice that's given on what points to make to her or something but don't let anyone tell you that your going to have a failed marriage for any reason. getting a nice, used 210, 205, older model VLX or something along those lines...paying cash and maybe a portion of it financed to where you can still save money and be alright when yall do decide to have kids is the best compromise from what I can tell.
 
By TR (biz) on Saturday, June 07, 2008 - 12:31 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
I'm a realist so here's my take on some very fundamental issues. You stated "once I get her doing it more she will be hooked". Don't assume that just because you love boating/wakeboarding she will love it just as much as you do. This is a fundamental flaw in your thinking... remember she has her own personal interests and obviously differnet priorities. For example - What if a wife loves ballroom dancing and would like to get her husband involved on a competition level with her. The husband supports her passion for dancing however this does not interest the man, he simply has other personal areas of interests for his personal needs and development.

My advice, get a $20k-$30k 'starter boat'. It looks like you have $5k in your boat fund. Put $4k down keep $1k for repairs/maintenance and take a loan out on the balance. The payments will be minimal and you will most likely never be upside down. It appears that your other monthly obligations are somewhat minimal. If she approaches it from strictly a monetary aspect kindly remind her that you will both (you and her) be taking on her $100k in school loans when you get married. Realize that the boat is a depreciating asset while her education should reap rewards several times over in her lifetime. This doesn't discount the fact that bottom line, it's $100k-ish (school) to $20k-ish (boat) in loans (deferred interest or not). They have different payouts; Education is potentially a monetary payout while a boat will give you memories to last a lifetime. I know this sounds like a HallMark card/after school special but it is so true.

If both of you are planning on kids in 2.5 years then use this time - right now - to have fun with your soon to be wife. One thing that I do find odd is the timing of kids in 2.5 years and 'making salary' in 3 years. If she is concerned about the money then the timing should be opposite and add a year or so for cushioning the bank account. Is she not concerned about the 6 months of diapers, baby food, etc. that will be incurred?

If she is entertaining the idea of a boat 10 years in the future then you should most likely kiss that dream good-bye. If she is this tough to 'sell' on the idea of a boat right now why would you think it would get easier as time progresses. It simply sounds like she is steering the direction and laying the groundwork for the finances before you get married.

You are both planners... plan time to have some fun on the boat.

The responsibilities and bigger obligations will come soon enough for both of you. In time the dream of a million dollar house will eclipse your dream of a $20k boat in a few years. Note that in a few years that boat will be paid off if you buy it now. As time goes by the boat will slowly lose a few places on the priority list. Stand your ground and show her how important this is to you as a person and what/who you are.

If you must wait, another option is plan to buy a boat in 3 years when she is starting to make the big money. Ask her to sign a good faith doc (note, not a pre-nup) between you and her stating that you will have kids in 2.5 years and a boat in 3 years, better yet a boat in 2.5 years and kids in 3 years. I would love to hear the outcome of this discussion! Good luck with this one (ha-ha). Fast forward to 2010 - Try to find the time to get to the lake with 2 full time demanding careers, a kid or two, maybe a dog... you get the picture. I am not saying it can't be done however I am saying your 'free time' will be less than it is right now.

Finally, you are 26. This is the time for a Wakeboarding boat. In 10 years your knees will be on the downhill slide, in 15 years your knees will be begging you to empty the ballast tanks and reminding you the next three days (joints being sore) when you don't. Yes... this last part is from experience!

 
By Bill K (bill_airjunky) on Saturday, June 07, 2008 - 12:35 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
No one is claiming to know Andy or his fiance, Sippi. It's a matter of human nature. Marriages have a way of either working well or not, and no one gets a guarantee. If your think your not going to have issues in your marriage, your fooling yourself.

Good advice.... used boat, pay it off as quick as possible, enjoy it with your new wife & kids now, not 10 yrs from now.

 
By Javony (javony) on Saturday, June 07, 2008 - 12:44 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
I'm in the planning stages of a wedding right now. We are getting married late Sept. and my fiancee is already saying how she wants a new boat. That is going to be one of our first major purchases as a married couple. I guess I just got lucky that we have the same outlook and interests.
Our thoughts (together) are that you need to have fun while you can. Meaning financially and without the additional responsibilities of children.

 
By Sam Aikele (atropine) on Saturday, June 07, 2008 - 12:56 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
"she will make anywhere from $175k to $300k a year."

More like at least 500k as a radiologist, after a 1-2 year buy-in to partnership post-residency. Should be at least 300k for the first 1-2 years as a non-partner, and probably more. Money will not be an issue in the near future.

That said, you already know that you can't be too forceful with the issue. Like everyone else has said, communication is the key. A boat is clearly not as important as a spouse, but they shouldn't be mutually exclusive either. Let her know that this is really an important issue for you, and she should be willing to work out a timeframe for getting the boat you want in the future. They may not mean now or even in the next 2 years, but within 5 years it should be very reasonable. Meanwhile, although it is not ideal, you have access to you parents' boat. This already puts you in a better position than most people. You can still have a lot of fun in an I/O.

We bought our first boat (a used I/O) during my residency, because it was what we could afford. We had just as much fun on that boat as we do now on our Malibu 23 LSV. Family time at the lake is priceless, and as someone else already mentioned I wouldn't trade any amount of money for the family time spent on the boat with my wife and kids.

My opinion: Keep yourself in good physical shape, enjoy the I/O now (you could pay your parents some rental $$$ if you want to feel more independent), and get the wakeboard boat in a couple years when your wife will feel like it is financially more responsible. Making compromises is part of marriage, and a strong marriage is more rewarding than almost anything else in life.

 
By greg (lav) on Saturday, June 07, 2008 - 1:54 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Buy the Boat before you get married then you will know if she is a keeper if she gets pi**ed just think how it is going to be after you are married.

As alot of others have said if you wait you will be waiting forever
just my .02

 
By RidinNSippi (sippi) on Saturday, June 07, 2008 - 3:06 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
TR...great post! I think that's the best advice given yet in this matter. Bill....I was saying that everyone claimed to know him and his relationship, but for people to say its basically going to end in a divorce if he gets a boat, or that he needs to run and whatnot bc its not going to work...that's bs IMO. that's all I was getting at. no one knows that for sure. also, I definitely know every marriage is going to hit a snag every now and then...that's just part of it. I know things aren't going to be like the honeymoon forever, that's a given...but they also aren't all goingto end in divorce over a boat
 
By Jeff Moore (smokedog2) on Saturday, June 07, 2008 - 8:47 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
I feel your pain. I married a doctor as well. Lucky for me she was willing to buy the lake house and the boat. Many of my friends with equivalently educated wives cannot get them to the lake. Too dirty, to buggy, to weedy, too smoky, too much sun, too far, too bla, bla, bla. Their husbands and kids love the lake. The wives of many hate it. I am blessed with a wife that would rather be with her kids (and husband) doing what they want, than with her kids doing what she wants. A difference lost on more than a few (hey I went to Kung Fu Panda tonight – I can take one for the team with the best of them).

My advice is to attack the student loan. It makes no financial sense to pay it off but my wife was possessed when it came to paying that thing off. After 10 years, I can still remember the day I wrote the check that paid off her loans.

My kids rode behind an IO for 4 years before I got a real boat. I gave up a few hobbies the first few years of marriage. They come and go as time allows, but the lake has been great for us and the kids. If your wife wants to work in SW Ohio, I’ll be sure you have access to a boat and lakefront property. I know the schools and will help you find a nanny. I can set her up with a meeting with the hospital CEO at her convenience. PM here and I’ll send you my cell number. You are going to be rolling in cash, absolutely rolling. Pay yourself first. Spend a little and save a lot.

I am also an engineer, you will eventually have to come to grips with the fact that while you have spent your life in the top 10%, you married into the top 1%. That does not mean she calls the shots, it does mean you better have your ducks lined up when you present any plan for anything.

It is not a sign of maturity or respect to just step out and spend tens of thousands of dollars on the eve of your wedding. Nor is it a sign of maturity and respect to say your desires are on hold for 10 years.

Marry once, marry well, and never marry again

SD2

 
By Tim M. (fast355) on Sunday, June 08, 2008 - 4:26 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Dude, I'm an old dog now, so, heres my professional opinion: Nip this problem right now! Buy it, bring it home, and ask her if she likes it. And... don't skimp on the boat! If your going to "do the time, then commit the crime!"

I rolled up to the house one day with a 38' Fountain that my buddy and I had bought. The wife was outside on driveway with her jaw on concrete when we pulled up. My buddy and I were laughing our butts off knowing what was about to unfold!)It was quite a sight. We had bought it together and she had no clue.. she freaked! but got over it. We laugh about it now!

I don't recommend this for everyone... depends on your relationship(and if you can truly afford it without it affecting your current situation). Personally, my wife and I are best friends too, she knows I'm gonna do this stuff, and she married me! Kind paved the way for some more fun stuff... Now, she just shakes her head and says "whatever"... See, you have to break her in man!

 
By Chris Ohlweiler (cjo) on Sunday, June 08, 2008 - 4:57 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Andy,
I'm in Nashville and just bought a boat a few months ago from Brandon Cruse with Central KY Inboards. He is a great guy and it was an easy experience. I wanted to spend around 20 and he found me a 98 Air Nautique in great condition with 325hrs on it. I highly receommend getting in touch with him and telling him what you are looking for. I'm also in the same situation in that i'm 29 and were about to have kids in a yr or so. My wife had never wakeboarded but loves it already.
Chris

 
By Kevin McAbee (kev88) on Sunday, June 08, 2008 - 7:06 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Tim M. you nailed it!
 
By Tim M. (fast355) on Sunday, June 08, 2008 - 11:12 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Oh and for all you "Young Bucks" out there... Learn from us older dudes:

"Rings DO plug holes!"

So buy that darn boat son!

Right Kevin?!

 
By Trevor Dean (drilldaddy78) on Sunday, June 08, 2008 - 11:55 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Just buy it then let her name it.
 
By David Miller (otown_dave) on Sunday, June 08, 2008 - 8:23 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Look on the bright side, when you are ten years older she will be able to fix those aging knees so you can show your kids how you use to ride back in the olden days & hopefully she can sew your nut's back on for you( If she still has them in her purse)...
 
By Kevin M. (kev88) on Sunday, June 08, 2008 - 9:03 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Right on Tim. When you bring that new toy home and all she does is roll her eyes...your home free!
 
By tom fischer (tomfish) on Sunday, June 08, 2008 - 9:28 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
If she is not into the stuff you like now, it is not going to change for the better. Get the boat now.
 
By fatsac (fatsac) on Monday, June 09, 2008 - 8:11 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
"I'm still proving financial responsibility to her since I am a spender and she is a saver. I pay 100% of the bills currently and still save."

Wait a minute... You pay 100% of the bills and she won't let you buy a boat? I'm sorry but this girl better be smoking hot and do something phenomenal in the sack. Hmmm... maybe this is why I'm still single! lol

 
By nacho (denverd1) on Monday, June 09, 2008 - 9:31 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
drag it home. you can afford it on your own if she doesn't want to play.
 
By michael z (absoluteboarder) on Monday, June 09, 2008 - 10:37 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
I didn't read everything....but start crying like she will when she wants to stay home with the kids!

.....finance 5 years? ..........didn't see if you had a house.....but my 40000 wakeboard boat is costing me 162 a month for the rest of my 2 lives.

But in 40 years I will be dead or my house will be worth 4 million or so......then the 40 g's will not mean much any more.....and the 162, well thats life!

dont use your own hard earned cash!

 
By MattG (pierce_bronkite) on Monday, June 09, 2008 - 11:23 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
A lot of good input here but let me point out something that I dont think was mentioned here.

I have noticed with some women they are into the boating lifestyle or not. There is no way you are going to change them.

Flip the scenario around, if your wife was passionate about something such as shoe shopping or scrap booking do you think you would like to do it every weekend? Like someone said eariler, I dont think there is any convincing.

When I read threads like this it makes me appreciate my wife. I love getting those calls when I'm at work and she says "Get out of work so we can take the boat out".

 
By Simon Irish (burberry03) on Monday, June 09, 2008 - 11:50 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
http://www.wakeworld.com/MB/Discus/messages/3183/576595.html?1210023687

my advice....... buy a cheap boat for starters..

 
By eric (eas) on Monday, June 09, 2008 - 1:54 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
I had a huge post going and decided to sum it up by saying this:

Respecting her opinions and desires does not mean getting her "permission". Compromise is the key, but it goes both ways.

And never say never when it comes to a new mom wanting to stay home with baby....things tend to change when the most perfect thing you've ever done looks up at you!

 
By michael z (absoluteboarder) on Monday, June 09, 2008 - 4:16 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
.....oh whatever you buy yourself.....spend the equal value on something she wants........and you'll see how savings go out the window!
 
By anthonyv911 (tonyv420) on Monday, June 09, 2008 - 5:20 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
you work don't you? get the freakin boat man! stop draggin that ball and chain around, your not even married yet! Its a crime to have lake property and not have a boat. Wake boat is the only way to go if you like wakeboarding and wakesurfing. And the prices keep going up. Wakeboats are a investment.Just do it, worry about the consequences later.
 
By Tim Monk (monkey) on Monday, June 09, 2008 - 7:21 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
My wife loves our new boat . She was the one who insisted that we needed to upgrade, and I'm very glad that she finally convinced me to do it... Heck, she even lines up people to go ride, packs the goodie bags and the dogs, drives, gives the newbies instruction, picks the music... well, ok, the picking the music part is a bit of an issue I'll admit, but after reading this thread, if the "chick music" thing is our only sticking point, I figure we're doing OK.

My relationship advice is simple. Marraige is a lifelong commitment. Only marry someone who's going to make you happy for the rest of your life! If you're already talking about making major sacrifices in your favorite hobby, you two need to have a serious talk about your future together, more specifically, you need to figure out what other major sacrifices you'll be making down the road...

My financial advice: Save the money rather than financing the boat. Apparently you and your wife are in (and will continue to be in) the income bracket where you can afford these types of purchases. For people like you, don't sweat the small stuff. Stop worrying. Start living.

(Message edited by Monkey on June 09, 2008)

 
By Abe (reconabe) on Monday, June 09, 2008 - 10:20 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
After 8 years of marriage I can say, get it worked out BEFORE you tie the knot. no matter how far committed you think you are now, its alot easier to back away before you tie the knot.
 
By Andy Thaman (andytr32) on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - 7:33 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Just a quick update to let you know that I'll keep you all posted on what happens. I've been a little busy at work (overtime = more boat money), but I'll get some time to talk to Anne about this.

One thing I keep seeing people being confused on is the salaries. She makes decent money now but doesn't make her 6 digit figures until she becomes a full time attending doc in 3 years. Our combined income of $100k is a lot of money for the area we live in. We live in Northern, KY which is dirt cheap.

I'm traveling for work, but when I get back I should have an update. Lots of good info, I like the comments about me getting my balls out of her purse. In my defense, I do the things I want but a boat is a big purchase and I want her to be able to enjoy it with me.

The bottom line is this, I need more time riding on the water. With my parent's I/O I get about one 15 minute session per day! I could get more but I know everyone in the boat would rather go tie up to drink and be social. With my own boat, they could go back to the party and I could ride and work on deteriorating my knees more. Plus I could stay out later while they all head back and make dinner ;)

Lots of good advice here, I'm going to eventually call the contact given here to look for a prostar 205. Start out small and go from there.

Thanks again,

Andy

 
By Paul Brothers (phat_in_cincy) on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - 10:21 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
I tell you what...you come out with us, we'll have a great time on the water (wakeboarding/wakesurfing/etc...). She'll she see how much fun it is and then we won't invite you back...so you have to get a boat of your own!

Show her pictures (I can't take credit for this cutie) and tell her "Kids love boats too!" The sooner they are on the water, the sooner they'll be comfortable on it!

Upload
Upload

 
By dennis engle (deneng) on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - 10:35 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Dude this is what i might do..
#1 Not bring the subject up until after she get's a few exams finished and support her as much as possible. Emotiaially i mean.
# 2 Have pics of really hot expensive wakeboard boats in your garage as a reminder too her that you really wan't a boat maybe someday.
#3 Throw in some pics of you on the boat smiling looking good with natural good looks.
#4 Have some better pics of her in a boat.
#5 Mix family pics on boats.
You said she finished med school 3 yrs. ago, so i'm guessing she is in her third year residency.She probibly has a boat way on the bottom of priorities right now ,so the only way to get it higher on her prioirities is like you mentioned before too warm her up too the idea.
I'm smarter then that though!Life is too short..

 
By Andy Thaman (andytr32) on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - 11:20 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Paul Brothers - Awesome idea. Just out of curiosity, where do you all ride at? Maybe we can meet up sometime and ride? As a return favor I would welcome you all down to my parent's place on Lake Cumberland near Burnside Marina.
 
By Paul Brothers (phat_in_cincy) on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - 1:29 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
East Fork (WH Harsha Lake).
Sure. We look for thirds/fourths on some odd weekends.

 
By a (coldlake) on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - 1:32 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Sorry I'm not on my home PC to grab photos but maybe someone should start a thread - "Families Love Boating" and all post up pix of great times. Any doubting fiances could be directed to the thread for some quality evidence.

My wife had spent zero time on a boat before we got together. I converted her, she loves it and it is awesome family time. Turned out to be a natural talent, and becoming a great driver. She can pull me out on a long line barefoot deepwater start without killing me - must be a keeper!

Many/most all of my great memories from childhood are at the lake. I expect the same for my kids.

 
By David Miller (otown_dave) on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - 2:25 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Sorry for sounding harsh, I'm an old guy & three marriages under my belt ,2 grown daughters & 2 young sons now. I've caved in to others plans for my life & with my third wife knew who I was when she met me ,So why change to accommodate thoughts on changing things that are not broke. Use your youth wisely while you can, My oldest son is 10 & I hurt like hell trying to stay up with him.

(Message edited by otown_dave on June 10, 2008)

 
By AtTheLake (bmartin) on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - 2:56 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Start modest with your first boat and try to pay cash. I personally think that this 'I got to have the best right now' is one of the things wrong with our culture and it may go a long way to your bride to be seeing you sock money away for your goals and not adding debt. You can always trade up later. Since you have a lake house and a family 'social boat' no need to get something big that is an entertainment platform with all the niceties. Focus on getting a functional wake machine. I would shop around for a gently used v-drive with EFI in the $15-$20K range. With the economy and gas prices, more and more coming into the market in that price range.
 
By Sj (shesfearless) on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - 3:24 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
I'm with AtTheLake - that's what I did. If you can save up the 15K and put 10 of it into a used boat right away, you'll be way ahead of the game. IMO, you should always be ahead on purchases (in terms of having paid off more than it's worth when accounting for depreciation). That way, if you ever do decide to have "other priorities", the boat will always be worth more than you paid and you're free to sell.

Let's be honest - now is the perfect time for you to buy a boat. You're in a position to save the money and buy it responsibly, you've got decades to enjoy it ahead of you and plenty of opportunity to make it worthwhile.

Realistically, I hope that your fiance will enjoy the boat at least half as much as you do (which would still make it worth it), but if not, now's your best chance to do this... :-) Not every purchase the two of you make will be thrilling for the both of you (think big screen TVs, etc). but what's important is that you can work out something that you both find acceptable. If the boat is paid for (fully) in less than 2-3 years, that shouldn't be a deal breaker for her since you won't still be paying for it when the kids arrive, lol.


Good luck!!

(Message edited by shesfearless on June 10, 2008)

 
By Andy Thaman (andytr32) on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - 3:40 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
I think I've made up my mind and I'm going to do it. I don't expect her to be extremely happy about it but I want her to support it.

So I really like the prostar 205s, honestly I can't find a better boat under 20k, let alone a v drive. Is it possible to get a sub 500 hr vdrive under 20k? Id much rather keep re budget to $15k now and buy something nice down the road.

I found a prostar 205 not far from me asking price is $15k. Boat is super clean but hours are 920. Seems like a lot. Is it even a good idea to buy a boat with 900 hours? I definitely don't think I'll drop 15 on it.

 
By Stephen Higgins (srh00z) on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - 5:07 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
V-drive under 20K is possible, but more likely in the off season and you may have to drive and pick it up. That is what I did. I new what I wanted, set a budget and looked for about 6 months. I haven't seen many Prostar 205V's in the sub 20K range, but there have probably been a few.
 
By Bill K (bill_airjunky) on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - 5:35 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
DD 205 for under $20k is easy. But may or may not be the ideal boat for a boarder.
I had a 94 for 7 yrs & loved it. Sold it 2 yrs ago with about 700 hrs on it. 800 lbs of ballast & an Ichor tower on it, handled great & kicked out a medium size, firm wake that most boarders & foil riders loved. Bought it for $17k, dumped about $3k into it. Used it for 640 hrs over 7 yrs. Sold it for $17k.

V-drive is definitely the preference for a lot of people though. And price will usually be a bit higher because of that.

Do your homework & start watching the ads now. There will be more & more deals towards the end of summer & into the fall. Meanwhile, save, save, save so you can offer a cash deal to a seller. I bought mine in October & got a much better deal on it because of that.

 
By Andy Thaman (andytr32) on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - 7:00 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
I don't really need a huge wake, but a vdrive would be nice for the added space and rear weight. I would much rather spend less to get a DD.

How is the surfing behind a 205?

 
By x2fanatic (x2fanatic) on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - 7:07 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
some discussion going on here about surfing a 205

http://www.tmcowners.com/teamtalk/showthread.php?t=24111

 
By Dylan McCoy (mccoyboy) on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - 7:26 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Andy,
im 15 now and i cant remember a time when we didnt have a boat. my dads been boating since he was 18. hes 40 now and we still do. if you really want something that will keep your kids out of trouble when they are older Buy the boat. i love boating so much and i am very greatful for what my parents have givin me. if we didnt have a boat we wouldnt have meet some awsome familys that live near our cabin. boating brings out the best in everyone. i cant stress enough that boating is excelent for kids. just put on plenty of sunscreen

 
By P. Van Every (boss210) on Wednesday, June 11, 2008 - 2:01 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
dude tell the chick thats the way it is and get what you want. when you get married she gets even more of a say on it and you might never get it
 
By Andy Thaman (andytr32) on Wednesday, June 11, 2008 - 5:09 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
X2 Fanatic, thanks for the thread! I didn't even know about the site itself.

Dylan, thanks for your perspective.

I think I'm going to print this entire thread out for her, I think it will help.

BTW, just got an unexpected bonus at work which will pay out Friday. It was also about 4x the amount of what I was expecting. I've been working my a** off so I think I deserve it.

 
By Andy Thaman (andytr32) on Wednesday, June 11, 2008 - 5:12 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Actually, another quick question, do the 205 and the 205V share the same haul? Is surfing even a possiblity in the DD 205?
 
By AtTheLake (bmartin) on Wednesday, June 11, 2008 - 8:26 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
I'm not going to knock a MC205. They make a great wake and OK surfing wave and I never turn down a ride behind one. If you are going into the sub $20K market, you will find more options if you consider other brands. There is not much difference between them in the power trains. The main difference between the boats will be how new they are, the trim, and as with any used boat the condition will be the primary factor determining value.

Here is a list in somewhat descending order of the prices of the used brands. Top of the list you will more easily find newer (5-8 year old) v-drives for under $20K and the bottom of the list you will be more limited to boats that are direct drives or more than 10 years old. Which is better is a matter of unending debate. Personally if I was spending more than $15K on a boat it would have to be a v-drive with EFI and I would 'skimp' on the brand to get into one. Others hold different views on this and will only consider one of the 'big 3' brands. All of these brands have models that throw respectable wakes but produce different size and shaped wakes. The DD models are OK and can throw comparable wakes as v-drives with the same hull (yes 205 hulls are the same) when weighted correctly but it boils down to whether you want a large, somewhat noisy, vinyl covered hump in the middle of your boat.

Moomba
Sanger (probably not many in your area)
Centurion
Tige (One last to go with all wood construction)
Supra
Malibu
MC / Nautique

You will find more flexibility in prices starting after July, and even more flexibility after labor day, but this is a crazy year so timing may not be as big a deal.

edit: 900 hours is not too many if well maintained. When you start getting near the 2000 mark, then I would be more concerned.

(Message edited by bmartin on June 11, 2008)

 
By Andy Thaman (andytr32) on Wednesday, June 11, 2008 - 9:04 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Awesome post, the main reason I like the MC is the hull in the older boats seems to be way ahead of its time. Especially since the haul is still comparable to the current model boats.

I think I'll end up with a DD for my first boat to keep the costs down. Eventually, I'll upgrade to a Vdrive for more space and more improvement.

The less money I spend up front the easier it will be to get Anne on board.

 
By AtTheLake (bmartin) on Wednesday, June 11, 2008 - 11:00 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
A DD will get the job done and the MC205 is a great hull. Keep busting your arse and collecting those bonuses and you will be in one in no time.

After you settle the boat thing, it will be time to move on to more pressing matters like your bachelors party and posting up the pics!

 
By Stephen Higgins (srh00z) on Wednesday, June 11, 2008 - 12:17 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
The MC hull is not the only one that made a hull before its time. The original Wakesetter/Sunsetter LX and VLX hull is still around and sold new as the V-ride and the I-ride. The Super Sport Nautique and Sport Nautique hull is the same hull as the recently retired Super Air Nautique hull. All of these hulls were around for about 10 years or so. You should try to get some rides behind each before locking into one hull. They are all great, as are the other brands that AtTheLake mentioned. The only reason I recommend looking at multiple brands is that given your price range, you may want some options to expand the number of boats available to you.
 
By Ian (family_deckhand) on Wednesday, June 11, 2008 - 12:59 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Everyone is right about how much fun the family will have with the boat. It is a great time with the kids. Kids love it etc. With that said its a huge expense. Honestly your priorities should be:
1. First buy a house. Which you already have!
2. Three months salary in some liquid form just in case (savings)
3. Ability to max out retirement contributions.
4. CCs paid off or at least really low balances. You have this!
5. You have no car payments even better.

Seems like, based on what you say, you should be able to buy yourself a boat. I bought my first boat before getting married. It was not a priority for her and had I not bought it before hand it would have been hard to get it once married. Once you start having kids it gets even harder if its not a priority for her because it is a bug expense. If you have it going into the relationship then its just always there and becomes part of your lifestyle. Her more important things are probably for re-doing the kithen and baths, buying a bigger house, vacation trips etc. These are, usually, all nice to haves like the boat.

If you are really already in good finacial shape then go for it.

 
By dennis engle (deneng) on Wednesday, June 11, 2008 - 1:54 pm:    Edit Post Delete Post
Find a shop in your area with someone who knows alot about boats including gel coat issues. Take the boat into the shop and pay the 100 bucks or whatever it is to have checked out and to do some tests. I know of 2 guys in the bay area here who if i left a boat with they could find most of the imperfections and what may have caused them. Also try to find a boat with limited past owners {hopefully 1 owner} and ask as many questions as you can so that you can really have a better idea of what you are buying when you take into have the boat checked out. There are probibly alot of guys out there that have alot of experience with rebuilding and maintaining boats. I even know of 1 guy here that was a quality control inspector for the big 3 boat manufactures. Someone like this can tell you alot about a boat and not just oh wow dude this boat throws a good wake..
 
By Andy Thaman (andytr32) on Thursday, June 12, 2008 - 5:14 am:    Edit Post Delete Post
Oh yea, definitely in the process of planning the bachelor party for the weekend after labor day. I'll get some pics up in the non wakeboarding section after the event. Planning on Friday night riding quads at my parent's farm, saturday = pig roast & poker tourney, saturday night = party bus from farm to Louisville for bars and more propaganda. The farm is about 1 mile from the genlteman's club so we are all good to go. I don't really care for the club but we'll probably end up there.

So I've been working on my budget since I have a bunch of things I need to spend money for the wedding and honeymoon. I could easily afford a $15k boat right now but I think I am going to wait until this off season for the following reasons:

* Stick it out one more year on my paren'ts I/O, hell it throws a mean wake, just need a good driver. I'll just focus on surface and learning W2W spins.
* Buying in the off season = best price available plus I don't have to pay to winterize this year
* Parent's friends are using the second garage spot for their boat and I'd hate to kick them out, they are awesome people
* Parent's are about 90% sure they are getting a bigger boat for next season that will not fit in the garage. This also justifies my boat purchase since I will no longer have access to a ski boat. They will also not need the truck to launch their boat as it will stay in the water.
* Next Feb-Mar I can pay full cash and still have money left over for whatever
* It will be easier to get Anne's okay next year, there are just too many cash knowns and unknowns since we're getting married this year.
* Anne has ZERO tests next year = more time to enjoy the boat with her and our friends (she hates staying home on the weekends to study when I go to the lake with friends.
* Most likely wont have a dog anymore, my poor mastiff has a terrible knee and weakens by the day. It will break my heart to put him down but I don't like leaving him for the weekends. Bringing him on a 2.5hr car ride to the lake is challenging and uncomfortable. Hopefully, Roy will still be around but you never know.
* More money to buy things for the house to keep Anne happy while I make my purchase

So it just makes sense to wait out one more season. I'll still have 3 solid seasons before the stork starts flying.

Thanks again everyone for all of the suggestions, feedback, and input. We will definitely be a boating family!

 

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